Thread by @58Weasels, Because I’m feeling generous and it’s been a relevant topic this year, [...]

Because I’m feeling generous and it’s been a relevant topic this year, a bonus #autismawarenessday thread:

Making, and keeping friends with autism, including some examples from my own life.

First, let’s discuss a relevant topic to this: the “””dreaded””” special interests.

Special interests are any topic that really anyone pursues with great intensity and passion. Because of our often single-minded focus on these topics, when it comes to Aspies, we refer to them...

as “special interests”. These special interests can take literally any form. My own, recently at least, have been British politics and Russian choral history. I’ve been through many phases in mine through the last few years though, but very often, there’s a historical angle....

to them. (But I guess as someone who wants to be an historian, so much the better lol.)

Now, I felt the need to reference these for later in the thread, but keep this in mind.

So, your young Aspie finally enters some formal schooling. Odds are that if they’ve received early intervention and are in a regular classroom that they’re probably ahead of the curve when it comes to reading and academic skills, however, early intervention often comes at a....

detriment to social skills. I would know.

Throughout most of elementary school, I had one friend. Yep.

My dad lobbied the school, and they always obliged, to keep the two of us in the same class.

Though I have no memory of it, supposedly I came home crying one day in 3rd grade

telling my dad that I had no friends.

It’s rough being ahead of the curve that early. Especially when your interests match up not at all with your classmates. The easy answer, to learn to adapt, is often either not possible or very, very hard. Such was the case for me.

So, then we move on to middle school. The awkward phase for everyone. Luckily, this gives us more opportunities for growth and finding new people who maybe share a glimmer of our interests.

Now, on a personal aside, this is the time in which I met my friend Skyler.

My best friend and maybe the only person who’ll stand by me till the day I die. What did we bond over you ask? That hit game made by Notch-Minecraft.

Now this awkward period is also....interesting in the retention of friends. New opportunities mean new obstacles. I danced...

and sang in our school’s chorus. That alone made me a bit of a pariah as a boy, but add the special interests (which were at the time, the classics) and....you can imagine what that led to.

So, let’s actually talk retention of friends. With suddenly divergent interests and...

time coupled with *THAT* (described above), it was quite difficult.

In high school, oftentimes, you join a team. For me, it was my high school’s speech and debate team my sophomore year. Had I known how much I was going to love it, I absolutely would’ve been on the team...

as a freshman. But....once again, taking the upper track and already having a very clear idea of what you want to do (I was on my present track by like my junior year), it makes it hard to form new friendships.

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends from my high school experience

but it’s not one of those situations where I really missed going to school everyday. At this time, online communities have become kind of a boon for us. We can find people who share our interests relatively easily.

This is how I found @_alex_joshua, @awelch744, and @semperfitrex

along with a few others. However, it doesn’t replace the mode of interpersonal contact and having access 24/7 to the ability to make a connection doesn’t mean the connection gets kept.

This is the story of my friend Ethan. I still love him very much, he’s like a brother to me,

but he hasn’t talked to me in the better part of a year. Our interests grew apart and while mine merely morph, his have changed entirely.

Finally, let’s talk a little bit about college. I have very few friends at South Carolina. I love it down there though. I love the...

campus, I love my professors, I love the campus, and I love(d) my job. The schedule changes, the relative prudishness of myself, and once again, how many college students do you know who are really interested in learning about the Liberal Party of Great Britain? All combine...

to make it difficult to get friends. Now, I do keep connected with the friends I do have. And I would say, your main take away in what’s been a bleak thread should be this: I, or many Aspies you may know, may not have a lot of friends, but oftentimes their friends mean...

the world to them. I know they do to me.

So how can you help? First, don’t be a dick and tell the Autistic person you know that they need to change. Help them find their own niche. That’s what I did in high school with choir and forensics. While I haven’t necessarily....

found it yet at U of SC, I can tell you that finding that niche that caters to you is the best way to feel comfortable.

And I guess until I find it in real life, I guess I’m stuck with all of you awesome nerds. :) /End

Ping @gina_goldberg again.

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