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I can& #39;t sleep, so I& #39;m now doing what the whole rest of the world is doing and catching up on Tiger King. I will live tweet my experience. You all know what& #39;s coming – I don& #39;t have a clue, except that there& #39;s tigers, and Carole Baskin.
So far, Joe seems nuts but like an okay dude. I don& #39;t even agree with zoos, but "I would shoot you before I shot any of my cats" – yeah. I get that. I& #39;m not sure I agree with either of them having the cats but I& #39;d rather they shot the humans than the cats. Episode one.
The cubs look drugged. Assume they are. Not cool.
The journalist looks... like he& #39;s been through some shit.
"If the big cat safety act is passed it will destroy all zoos across america." Good?
Wait, what? FOUR YEARS LATER? Okay. This is fucking episode one.
HOLY SHIT THAT ARM IS GONE. GONE.
JUST ANOTHER FUCKING DAY
"I was paralysed from the waist down but when I could move a big toe, I knew I could do this – so I walked 20 miles a day, 7 days a week" FUCK
The journo has Terry Pratchett meets Hunter S Thompson vibes #TigerKing 
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"Nothing is cooler, sexier, or more significant today to the world we live in – than a tiger" okay you fucking furry, Get Wintour involved this is the next Metgala #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Daddy or Chips? = Tigers or Drugs? 2020
Smuggling drugs through snakes. I hate humans I really do. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Why does every gangster family have someone called Guillermo? #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
"Animals don& #39;t judge you" he& #39;s a dodgy character but I do believe Joe Exotic understands animals. Episode 2. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
MYSTICAL SCIENCE? I can& #39;t have heard that right. Did I? I& #39;ve had wine. MYSTICAL SCIENCE? #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Listen I& #39;m not being funny but if that ludicrous bastard has 9 wives I should have at least 15 by now #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
No one, and I mean NO ONE, trusts anyone with a FUCKING SOUL PATCH #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Honestly sometimes I see low self-esteem and then I see women like this who are willing to SHAG THE SOUL PATCH TO FEEL WORTHY what is life #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
So... he now has... 2 husbands? and I have... none #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
First song feeling real Shania Twain That Don& #39;t Impress Me Much + Can& #39;t Hug Every Cat #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> "high quality social media"
Right okay I& #39;m assuming Joe Exotic has to somehow die mid filming this series? Or is it all about Carol& #39;s husband #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
You know you& #39;re not rich if you& #39;re not hiding money in mattresses and the ground #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Fucking hell. Is this south country Dumbledore? #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> #DennisHill
So dark to listen to these women go "one woman was never enough for him" as if that& #39;s to be expected #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
"early, early, early" and her lack of details seems legit so far #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Here... kitty... kit.. jesus #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Back to bed. I& #39;ll continue tomorrow.
Okay, I& #39;m back in. Episode 3. The will / power of attorney... well... that& #39;s not... suspicious? Carol? #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Oh wow. At this point I& #39;m kind of backing Joe? For being the only one to "take her on"? She& #39;s showing every sign of being sociopathic so far and I was damn skeptical of the ex-family until they said they& #39;re scared shitless of her due to litigation #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
I WAKE UP, I GO TO WORK, BUT EVERY DAY I GET SOMEONE TRY TO SLAM ME DOWN BACK IN THE DIRT #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> episode 4.
BANGER.
BANGER.
These tweets brought to you by Gallo Family White Zinfandel
Hahahaha oh GOD as if they& #39;re getting into IP issues. These tiger weirdos have fucking IP problems. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Joe is basically a master of challenger brand marketing I& #39;m actually fucking impressed frankly #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
The man INVITED A LAWSUIT to increase his own clout and I& #39;m sorry but we stan #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
The journalist still fully channelling Terry Pratchett and Hunter S Thompson as one person: "bum fuck Oklahoma" #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
I& #39;m in tears at Joe in the crown and the robe I really am #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
WOAH. WHAT THE FUCK. THE... WELL. THE BLOW UP DOLL IS... DEAD? #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Oh Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe. Joe. Joe this is not going well. You& #39;re going full Kanye. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
I& #39;ve just spat my drink out at Carol in a diaper #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
The set/art direction for the confessionals with the woman with one arm is... *chefs kiss*
If someone burnt my animals, my eyes would turn black immediately. I would go crazy too. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
Oh God please tell me it& #39;s not... no. He.. if he... NO. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt="">
OH MY GOD. JOE. JOE. FUCKS SAKES. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> #Fire
Either these people are mastermind criminals or these police are stupid as fuck. #TigerKing https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> Episode 4
