1. Apply for unemployment. We have never qualified for this insurance until now. Take advantage of it. You’ll get at least $600/week. Here is a guide from the freelancers’ union: https://twitter.com/rlespinal/status/1245403388549963778

2. Apply for an economic disaster relief loan https://www.benefits.gov/benefit/1504  — this is technically for a “loan” but if you qualify as a small biz (freelancers do!), you get a $10k grant *no questions asked* just for applying, even if you don’t get the loan

More on that: https://www.nav.com/blog/what-is-the-economic-injury-disaster-loan-grant-and-what-does-it-mean-for-small-business-588977/

3. Get health insurance. The fed gov isn’t opening up a “special enrollment” period for people to apply, but that is boring and truly doesn’t matter. If you “lost your job” or had another life change, you can get it literally today: https://www.healthcare.gov 

I pay $0/month for my insurance. I qualified after losing mine after a divorce. You qualify. Or you can make it look like you qualify. I believe in you.

4. Apply for food stamps. If you receive a semi-regular check that is under your state’s threshold for EBT benefits, you can get stamps. For Alabama I think it’s around $1300. I receive a regular check for less than that, so I get about $185/month in EBT

That is what I get as a single person without children. If you are married or have kids, you are eligible for more

5. If you have children, there are more options for you. Apply for WIC. In Alabama we have a program called “All Kids” that is basically like Medicaid for children. Get your kids on that.

6. PPP. I am not 100 percent read up on this and will consult my accountant before I apply. But it’s a payroll protection program that insures your employees (that’d be you, self-employed person!) for up to $100k in loses per year if you qualify

People are welcome to @ me with more over-the-table ideas. Again, I’ve paid a hell of a lot of self-employment taxes over my career and have been frozen out of all fed/state benefits, so I’m willing and ready to take every penny that’s up for grabs! And you should too

I also have plenty of under-the-table money-making schemes, but I mean ... text me