I have been finding myself more prone to bouts of annoyance and anger, directed at any & everyone. The person who walks within 6 feet of me on the street. The friend who doesn’t return my call. The coworker who misses a deadline for a joint project.

I’ve found myself succumbing to rage directed at my neighbors even as I‘ve shared on here my sincere belief that this is not our mess. That we don’t deserve carceral punishment if we fail to fix it. That a productivity doctrine & capitalism is how we got here in the first place.

It’s not easy to love us the way we deserve to be loved. To offer grace. We’ve been conditioned to blame our neighbors, and particularly our Black neighbors, for the harms affecting them most, harms directly linked to the (in)actions of the state, our whole lives.

Blaming each other is what keeps the carceral state erect. It’s harder even still not to resort to blame and punishment when we are in crisis. When problems gravely need fixing. But that is when it matters most.

Today, I made a commitment to love on my neighbors more. To give grace to those who are not acting as if my life depends on it, even though it feels like it does. But our lives have always depended more on how we show up for each other when it would be easier for us to blame.

It’s not that kids fault he is not social distancing. He shouldn’t have had to in the first place. There is a reason we are here and that reason wants you to blame him. And it’s not your fault that you are angry. You deserve grace and care and time to figure yourself out too.

But please direct that anger somewhere useful. Please direct your anger to the state (and those who uphold it), not at your neighbor (unless your neighbor is a cop).