I love this trend where mentally ill people are just supposed to accept whatever someone else decides to do or say to them, as long as that person claims they only did it for *their own* mental health.

People will actually do some extremely fucked up shit to you, especially when you’re in crisis.

And then they’ll make you feel like you’re the one who has to apologize.

And they get away with it a lot. Because despite the societal perception that mentally ill people are

always dodging accountability for their actions during, we actually are shamed and punished for them A LOT, even when they didn’t hurt anybody.

I’ve definitely done some things in crisis that I had to apologize for. But I’ve also been made to feel like I’m defective or toxic for:

-crying too much
-having PTSD symptoms like running away during potential emergencies
-not getting out of bed
-anxiety attacks

And what’s more... people have like REALLY hurt me while I was in crisis. Like... very mean and cold shit. But they always cited the potentially deleterious impact I was having on their own mental health, so you could never really say how you felt.

And it’s hard bc we’re conditioned to lay a lot of blame on our shoulders, and do an intense amount of work on ourselves when friendships/relationships/family relationships go awry....

But I would really like to see mentally ill people stop embracing this treatment as

Healthy boundary setting or whatever the girlies are calling it these days.

It’s not. It’s ableism and it’s hurtful.

This is why I’m always talking about how self-care and self-love polítics are weaponized against mentally ill people to keep them from advocating for their needs, especially within intimate relationship (friends/family/partners).

And I know it’s true because it’s something I have done and I know the difference between when I was establishing my own boundaries in a healthy way and when I was leaving someone high and dry in a way that was hurtful and possibly left them with permanent emotional scars

But the difference is that people like *me* are always forced to take accountability for those actions, but if I was neurotypical or even less severely mentally ill than the person I hurt... chances are people would soothe/enable me and tell me I did the right thing.

Also, you should be extremely wary of people who only bring up big (and often valid!) issues they have with you while you’re in crisis. Whether unintentionally or intentionally, they’re doing it because they know you won’t respond well and they can use your response against you

Being a burden or being unlovable is actually a very deep-rooted fear that a lot of severely mentally ill people have, and you should be careful of people who seem to be using that fear against you.