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I took this at the sickest I've ever been (thread).
I was about seven stone, and my eating disorder had got so bad I had stopped weighing myself because it frightened me knowing I couldn't stop starving myself.
I was about seven stone, and my eating disorder had got so bad I had stopped weighing myself because it frightened me knowing I couldn't stop starving myself.
I couldn't control anything else. I was being relentlessly abused, harassed and bullied, beaten down with insulted for the smallest mistakes, and I just wanted to disappear. I felt useless and trapped, and I couldn't find a way away from my abuser.
Apart from dieting.
Apart from dieting.
So I radically cut down on what I ate. I calculated every calorie. I felt like I'd achieved something when I'd eaten under 300 calories a day. It was a time in my life when I was endlessly worn down with how I was failing in all other aspects of my life, so I felt control.
Now, I was normal. I worked a hugely demanding job, I got it done, I had friends, I got on with life. But I battled this for so long. Eventually I realised the only way I'd get out of the space in my head where I had to do this was to get out of the abusive position I was in.
So what am I saying?
Anyone can develop an eating disorder. Anyone can be pushed over the edge. Care about the people around you. Not the 'optics' of bulimia, anorexia or anxiety. Because when these get serious, they can spiral in a matter of months. (EOT)
Anyone can develop an eating disorder. Anyone can be pushed over the edge. Care about the people around you. Not the 'optics' of bulimia, anorexia or anxiety. Because when these get serious, they can spiral in a matter of months. (EOT)
