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I remember mentioning on reddit that asexuality doesn’t necessarily mean hates sex. I’m asexual and I have enjoyed sex. Someone was like, “Uh, asexual means no sex. Learn what words mean 
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I told him to go fuck himself and immediately blocked him.
I told him to go fuck himself and immediately blocked him.
I have a ton of bisexual friends who have never dated or even (to my knowledge) had any kind of intimate experience or a simple make out session with someone of the same gender.
It’s not hard to understand.
It’s not hard to understand.
Words mean things, yes, but human sexuality is very complicated and identity labels exist more as a shorthand than anything else. Even a shorthand can be very helpful.
So how can you be asexual and hate sex?
You’ve heard about how everyone loves sex and how important sex (specifically PIV sex) is in any relationship? And how men always want sex? And there’s something wrong if you don’t have sex?
Maybe sex is just fine and you don’t care.
You’ve heard about how everyone loves sex and how important sex (specifically PIV sex) is in any relationship? And how men always want sex? And there’s something wrong if you don’t have sex?
Maybe sex is just fine and you don’t care.
Asexual might mean does not desire sex, but it’s more of an approximation. In a society where sex in relationships is expected and lack of sex is considered a medical issue, enjoying it but as a decent way to kill an afternoon and not much more qualifies.
One also does not require experience to necessarily figure it out. I had an inkling I was asexual before I understood it or got laid. The simple confusion over why people considered it so important is evidence.
Also, I never seek out sex, or a person to satiate the need to get laid. Probably why tinder seems so pointless to me.
Likewise, one doesn’t have to sleep with people of multiple genders to realize they ain’t monosexual.
Likewise, one doesn’t have to sleep with people of multiple genders to realize they ain’t monosexual.
Knowledge is key here. One reason it’s good to talk about this shit, and it can take people time to recognize they don’t fit the heteronormative model.
None of my bisexual friends realized they were bi after having relationships with two or more genders.
None of my bisexual friends realized they were bi after having relationships with two or more genders.
Finding a sexual identity can be very freeing and really help you understand yourself, especially if it’s considered complete fiction. I mean, everyone like sex after all!
Rigid definitions really don’t help though, as there’s so much variation. Rigidity is little more than gatekeeping it seems.
