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Total respect to all the NHS folk putting scrubs on for the first time in years.
I guess this would be as good a time as any to share the humiliation of the one and only time I ever wore scrubs.
It was in 1993. I was a student psychiatric nurse. 1/11
I guess this would be as good a time as any to share the humiliation of the one and only time I ever wore scrubs.
It was in 1993. I was a student psychiatric nurse. 1/11
I was on placement on a maternity ward.
As I arrived for my late shift, the sister told me that a caesarean was taking place and that the mother agreed a student could attend.
Sister pointed me in the direction of the scrubs room, which was really just a cupboard 2/11
As I arrived for my late shift, the sister told me that a caesarean was taking place and that the mother agreed a student could attend.
Sister pointed me in the direction of the scrubs room, which was really just a cupboard 2/11
Never having donned scrubs before, I stood in this cupboard, paralysed by the overwhelming amount of green linen.
What to do? What to do? 3/11
What to do? What to do? 3/11
And then it dawned on me there was so much more in there than linen. There was footwear, masks, hair covers, gloves, foot covers...
Oh shit oh shit oh shit. What the fuck do I do? 4/11
Oh shit oh shit oh shit. What the fuck do I do? 4/11
No-one had ever discussed this in training. I’m a psych nurse FFS, what the fuck do I know about operating theatres?
What if I fuck up? What if the surgeon shouts at me to get out?
The ward sister is no where to be seen. I am on my own.
5/11
What if I fuck up? What if the surgeon shouts at me to get out?
The ward sister is no where to be seen. I am on my own.
5/11
So I’m playing scenes from Casualty in my head, trying to figure out what people actually wear in theatre.
In desperation and urgency, I go all in. No risks. I am the most scrubbed up of all the nurses that ever walked the corridors of the Friarage Hospital, Northallerton 6/11
In desperation and urgency, I go all in. No risks. I am the most scrubbed up of all the nurses that ever walked the corridors of the Friarage Hospital, Northallerton 6/11
Ready, I enter through the big assed double doors of the theatre. There are anaesthetists, nurses, surgeons, and all manner of real, proper medical professionals who Know Their Shit.
And, in unison, they take one look at me and fall about, pissing themselves laughing. 7/11
And, in unison, they take one look at me and fall about, pissing themselves laughing. 7/11
The mother, who can’t see me past the surgical screen, is asking “what? What is going on??”
The surgeon, who can barely compose himself, wipes tears from his eye and explains... 8/11
The surgeon, who can barely compose himself, wipes tears from his eye and explains... 8/11
“A male student nurse, with a beard, just walked in, wearing wellingtons, a face mask, and a dress, with bare - and hairy - legs”
I nearly died
9/11
I nearly died
9/11
After recovering from the humiliation of mistaking a tunic for a dress and the realisation that there exists such a thing as scrub trousers, I witnessed the magical beginning of a new life in this world. A girl, who today, will be 27 years old. 10/11
Coda:
Whilst studenting, I also worked as a nightclub bar man.
Months later, a young woman came in and ordered drinks.
There was an awkward pause, a second glance, a silent realisation that whilst I had seen her undergo a caesarian, she’d seen me in a dress
11/end
Whilst studenting, I also worked as a nightclub bar man.
Months later, a young woman came in and ordered drinks.
There was an awkward pause, a second glance, a silent realisation that whilst I had seen her undergo a caesarian, she’d seen me in a dress
11/end
