#MentalHealthAwareness #mentalillness 😱
As promised I'm writing a thread about my mental illness. I had to push my doctor for a DIAGNOSIS, because technically I don't need a LABEL to get treatment, and she said I don't fit in ONE BOX. The closest match is SCHIZOTYPAL DISORDER.
I'm not sad about getting a diagnosis. Not at all! I've been taking meds for about 6-7 years now and had some therapy too, but was never given the results of my assessment. So I pushed the new doctor to put a name on it, and it now helps me understand what's going on with me.
Schizotypal disorder is not schizophrenia. It has certain common characteristics, yes, but without the most extreme symptoms like hallucinations or conspiracy theories. I don't suffer from that. Though when I was a child, I had hallucinations on three occasions and saw some shit.
According to Wikipedia, "schizotypal disorder is a mental disorder characterized by severe social anxiety, thought disorder, paranoid ideation, derealization, transient psychosis and often unconventional beliefs."

I will now go through each of these elements with examples.
"Extreme discomfort with maintaining close relationships with people and avoid forming them, mainly because the subject thinks their peers harbor negative thoughts towards them."

This is basically Gem culture. Cancel everyone because nobody likes me! Professional bridge burner.
It took me years to believe that I actually can have my safe group of friends who are happy to hang out with me 😭
"They frequently interpret situations as being strange or having unusual meaning for them."

That's pretty much on point. I often see situations as being special and important, that things are happening for a reason and can tell me something about what is coming in the future.
"Paranormal and superstitious beliefs are common."

I sometimes wonder if I'm spiritual because I'm blessed with strong faith, or is it one of my symptoms. When I was a kid I was really into alien abduction stories (X-Files fangirl), and my birth chart is on spot! ♉
"Such people frequently seek medical attention for anxiety or depression instead of their personality disorder."

Also true. Some symptoms co-occur and medications overlap. My doctor says I don't have full-blown depression, anxiety or psychosis, but I have some symptoms of each.
People with schizotypal disorder may appear distant and cold, even though they are sensitive and have a rich inner life. This stems from sucking at body language and being pretty oblivious to social cues. Honestly, my non-verbal communication is broken, I prefer written/online.
"Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric or peculiar."

I often choose clothes or accessories that are related to subcultures or fictional characters. I don't go fully eccentric because of my family and prospective jobs. If I could I would have pink hair.
Ideas of reference/delusions of reference.

I believe everything is about me. If I see the shop assistants giggling together, they're talking about me. When I was a kid, I usued to find fragments in books that said something about my life, or foretold my future.
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