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wouldn't like but anyway i'm worrying i'm becoming too invested because korean entertainment is really the only thing that brings me happiness but that's such a 180º from what i originally wanted to do so how i don't know what to do from here because i can't imagine myself not
going to korea at least for a trip or becoming fluent in korrean or marrying a korean person and even though i'm alone and no one knows of my deep investment i can still feel judgement on me and i'm worried about myself because i don't know what i want to do in the future anymore
and i worry that k-entertainment has changed my life in so many ways that i'm jealous of koreans for being korean and i just don't know how i feel and i don't know what to do because i can't imagine myself lessening my interest even though no harm my come from it but i don't even
know how to lessen my interest because every day i do something relating to k-ent like even playing piano i learn kpop songs so i guess i could pull myself away but stopping small things like that but it's so fun like i love k-ent i love it so much my freetime would be so bland
without it and i know i could still listen to the music and watch dramas and go to concerts and keep updated and watch variety shows because that’s not INCREDIBLY invested but it's still interested like rn i'm invested in the most random ways so i guess i could dial it back but i
don't know where i could go from there and this is why fans of western artists are lucky because they aren’t seen as weird as nonkoreans liking kpop like i'm scared to even search the term 'nonkoreans' on twitter because i'm scared of what people say about people like me idk i
could bring some western music back into my life but i'm just not as interested in it like i miss one direction times when i could obsess over them and not think i was weird for it or liking england since idk ig that's not as weird for stan twitter so that's why i wish i was
korean because then i wouldn’t have all these worries about being too weird or too attached to k-ent also bc i dislike my own culture like the country is nasty and underdeveloped the people are weird and cringey and i'm getting tired of a lot of the food and while i would never
exchange the life i have right now for another (cough korean) as i love my family and i can't imagine not being me but i can't help but feel longing towards korea and korean culture and i feel like they're superior to my culture you can just SEE it like there's a reason people
stan kpop and not the music from my country so that's why i wish i was korean so i wouldn't have to feel ashamed of my country or of liking korea so much and wanting to live and start a family there and also a while ago i saw one person say "being a koreaboo is wishing you're
born korean in your next life" and when i first saw that i was like pfftt that's not me but now even though idk what happens after death if there was an other life thing i wish i would be born korean so idk i think about this a lot and idk what to do"
sigh the first tweet in this thread didn't send but it said something like "i hate how i can't talk to my therapist about my problems" because how do i say "i'm worried about my investment in korean culture blah blah blah...
