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Following #crackergate last week, I've decided to undertake a completely non-comprehensive and flagrantly non-objective taste test where I will rank 4 types of crackers
The crackers being tested today:
1. Triscuits.
These are quintessential crackers. Few people hate them but does anyone really *love* them?? Coming in endless variations, we'll be using "Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil" for today. Fave cracker of @carlyziter and probably others
1. Triscuits.
These are quintessential crackers. Few people hate them but does anyone really *love* them?? Coming in endless variations, we'll be using "Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil" for today. Fave cracker of @carlyziter and probably others
2. Toppables.
The most criminally underrated cracker ever, and my fave cracker. I'm telling you now, these will win and I will eat an entire sleeve of these bad boys
The most criminally underrated cracker ever, and my fave cracker. I'm telling you now, these will win and I will eat an entire sleeve of these bad boys
3. Cream crackers.
Fave of @FunmiSoroye and @jetkerr. I've never had them before so expectation are low. If these crackers were people they look like they would be pretentious. Package says good until Jan 2021 so that's a plus.
Fave of @FunmiSoroye and @jetkerr. I've never had them before so expectation are low. If these crackers were people they look like they would be pretentious. Package says good until Jan 2021 so that's a plus.
4. Ritz.
Another classic cracker, fave of @0lufem. Threw out the box already. You know these crackers, they're timeless. But similar to Triscuits and Maroon 5, does anyone *really love* these crackers??!
Another classic cracker, fave of @0lufem. Threw out the box already. You know these crackers, they're timeless. But similar to Triscuits and Maroon 5, does anyone *really love* these crackers??!
Pairing these crackers today with a Greek salad, and a tube of Hungarian salami that was leftover from some Christmas basket.
I will try one cracker plain, and one with a slice of salami.
In between each style of cracker I will cleanse the palate with water and salad.
I will try one cracker plain, and one with a slice of salami.
In between each style of cracker I will cleanse the palate with water and salad.
First up: Triscuits. Great flavor, the layers of whole grain wheat creat such a unique texture. Like if shreddies cereal grew up, left home, got a nice job, and became a dependable post lunch snack.
Excellent paired with the salami, but a little dry.
Arbitrarily giving it an 8/10
Excellent paired with the salami, but a little dry.
Arbitrarily giving it an 8/10
Next, Ritz.
Tbh I always think I will like Ritz more than I actually do. Perhaps it's nostalgia, but I remember them being much better in the glory days of my childhood.
Enjoyable cracker, but I would feel too terrible to eat an entire pack.
6/10, but +1 for this gif.
7/10
Tbh I always think I will like Ritz more than I actually do. Perhaps it's nostalgia, but I remember them being much better in the glory days of my childhood.
Enjoyable cracker, but I would feel too terrible to eat an entire pack.
6/10, but +1 for this gif.
7/10
Cream crackers. Pretty hefty, ~double in mass &area to any other cracker here
HOLY HELL THEYRE DRY. These give Popeyes biscuits a run. Crumbs everywhere since I can't eat one whole, nor break it easily. Salami adds much needed moisture. No cracker should be this much effort
4/10
HOLY HELL THEYRE DRY. These give Popeyes biscuits a run. Crumbs everywhere since I can't eat one whole, nor break it easily. Salami adds much needed moisture. No cracker should be this much effort
4/10
After the cream crackers fiasco, I'm very glad I saved Toppables for last. Very light &airy. Pretty sure they just solidify ambrosia to make these. Great fluffy texture, tastes great alone.
Salami turns it from a light snack to a meal! Complements the taste very well.
10/10
Salami turns it from a light snack to a meal! Complements the taste very well.
10/10
There we go! Unsurprisingly Toppables+Triscuits emerge as top 2 crackers. I'll stack them against wheat thins, Breton crackers, goldfish, &rainforest crisps next time
At least the cream crackers are good until 2021. When society collapses they may be useful as building materials
At least the cream crackers are good until 2021. When society collapses they may be useful as building materials
