Dumb (and deleted) tweets aside...

Finding out that an ex-boyfriend died is very fucking weird. No matter how things ended, the man was a major part of 3 of the most formative years of my life and was my ~first love~ even if I do look back on the majority of our time together negatively.

Knowing that I’ll never get to confront him on the pain he caused is weird. Feeling empathy for his wife and the people that valued him is weird. Feeling absolutely nothing is also weird.

I’m trying to not carry too much guilt for having negative feelings towards him, because the impact of the things that happened doesn’t just disappear because he’s gone. However, reminding myself that my feelings are valid and I’m not an evil bitch turns out to be pretty hard.

Anyway this is very much word vomit over sharing and I’ll probably delete this thread too but hey here’s an update on the added craziness to my life, goodbye for now xx ps. Anyone got good recs for online therapy? Lolz