So I sat today pondered deep & wide. About the good women that have since left me because I was too set in my ways. And I came to the conclusion that I probably would do it all over again because good is not good if it isn't good for me. ie "I did your laundry" is not a defense.

When I brought my ex into my life, I had a single request for her. I said, "keep me on toes because I need that to be a good man to you". I wanted to know her dreams, what she loved, and when she mentioned hairstyling, I got her capital. So that she'd keep me on toes.

She was a good woman. Beautiful to a fault: cooked heaven in hell & cuddled storms away. But that wasn't why I'd courted her. I pursued her xcoz I loved her dreams. When she spoke of our future, it was laced with productivity. She saw the man I saw in me. She was good for me.

But she changed. She'd say "You are not giving me attention". So I doubled the capital. hoping she would work more. Inspire me more. But she would run the business to the ground & double the whining. & even though she still cooked the storms away, she was no longer good for me.

I am a man. I am complete. Every time, I initiate a relationship, the question "who am I?" takes precedence. From that ground, I decide how to engage a woman. That is why I have slept with terribly broken women, but I have NEVER dated a broken woman. I know who I am.

So when they'd later say, "but I was so good to you?" And "do you know how many people I rejected?" it doesn't give me sleepless nights coz that is not why I brought them into my life. I have never dated a woman coz she was attractive. I can easily get that from prostitutes.

Nor coz she was a good cook, I can cook just as well. When you get into the life of man, you study it. You weigh it against your reality, decide whether you can deal in it. If you can't, you walk out. You don't twist him into the man you had imagined. You adapt or ship out

Ask any "not so attentive" man you know. It took pain to get here. To know who we are, and build a purpose on that. A man bleeds before he knows himself. That is why we'd sooner you left, than we went back to the Canaan of empty romance & the lull of time wastage.

So for the exes I hurt. I'm sorry you bled. But I'm not sorry you left. Like you, many came & left. Many more will, & that is okay. And yes it smarts, coz you were all good women, but your goodness wasn't for me, so a man must keep walking. Jaded & bruised, HE STILL WALKS!!