Title: It's a Jungle Out There
Pairings: ShinKami, Deku/Multiple
Involves: AU, A/B/O, M/M, Smut, Dub-con, Implied Violence, Poly, basically total debauchery
Summary: A!Shinsou and A!Deku are anthropologists sent to study a lost omega tribe and soon find out they're pretty fucked.

We all know that I can't follow the rules by now.

I plan for this to be total fucking lunacy.

My inspiration? 'Amazon Women of the Avocado Jungle of D/eath,' A.K.A. what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Buckle in, bitches; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

For @kasekitty
“Dr. Shinsou, Dr. Midoriya,” the assistant dean of the college ushered the two men into his office, “please. Come in.”

The two professors took a seat in front of the dean’s desk, as he took his seat behind it.

Then...he just smiled at them.
“What, uh...” Shinsou exchanged confused looks with Midoriya, “what’s the reason for the meeting today?”

“I was wondering the same thing.” Midoriya scratched the back of his head. “It wasn’t on the memo, so--”
“You won’t find the reason on any memos, gentleman.” The dean came forward, folding his hands on top of his desk, then lowered his voice. “What we’re about to discuss is classified.”

Again, the two professors exchanged looks.
Midoriya shook his head. “What kind of classified information would two boring anthropology professors at a second-tier university be privy to?”

Shinsou pointed at Midoriya, but looked at the dean. “What he said.”
“I’m so happy you asked.” Making a big, shit-eating grin, the dean pulled a drawer open. “Upon going through your personnel records,” he slapped one folder onto the desk, “I noticed that you two,” then another, “had a few commonalities.”
After blinking a few times, Midoriya cocked his head. “Like what?”

“You’re both alphas, for one. Just like me.” The dean leaned back in his chair. “And you both expressed a particular interest in omega studies.”

“And that’s relevant because...?” Shinsou circled his wrists.
Midoriya pointed at Shinsou. “What he said.”

“OK.” The dean sighed. “Let’s change tracks, here: why don’t you two give me a brief history about omegas.”

The professors looked at each other.

“You can start, Midoriya.” Shinsou gave him a nod.
“Well,” Midoriya took a deep breath, “omegas were thought of as lesser people. They were subject to sexual v/iolence, unfair treatment in the work place, and government mandated sexism, in general.”
“They were highly oppressed people,” Shinsou continued. “They would basically become property to alphas once they were impregnated or marked until about fifty years ago, when most of the omegas banded together and abandoned society.”
“The very memorable ‘We’re Tired of this Shit Movement.’” Midoriya nodded. “It seems when you trap people in the house all day long and treat them like they’re sub-human, they start getting creative.”
“So, they took to social media and organized: they liberated each other in mobs, and established their own societies across the globe.” Shinsou crossed his legs.
Midoriya nodded. “And, of course, the alphas tried to pass laws to stop it from happening, but they used legally reserved land, which isn’t subject to any laws that the governments could pass -- at least, not without affecting other similarly regulated land used by other groups.”
Shinsou gave Midoriya a smile. “Why, they'd lose alpha voters.”

“For shame!” Midoriya and Shinsou laughed.
Sighing, Shinsou picked up from where Midoriya left off. “Ever since then, the omega population that was left behind has all but died out; the only ones left are past child-bearing age, and without omega genetics in the mix, they’ll soon be gone.”
Midoriya pointed at Shinsou. “Why did I just think of the castrati?”

Shinsou looked at him. “Oh, don’t even get me /started/ on the castrati. Did you know that--”

“Yeah, yeah.” The dean waved at the professors. “So, what do we know about the omega tribes, as they are today?”
Midoriya shrugged. “Nothing, really. Nobody’s allowed onto omega tribal land.”

“Unless they’re omegas.” Shinsou corrected him.

Midoriya pointed at him. “What he said. Everybody’s who has tried has just kind of...disappeared.”
“And when was the last documented expedition?” The dean rocked in his chair.

Shinsou blew a loud breath out of his mouth. “Twenty-ish years ago?” He looked to Midoriya to confirm.

“I think it was twenty-three.” Midoriya nodded.

“After that, they just gave up.”
“And that’s where you two come in.” The dean smiled. “I want you two to successfully -- SUCCESSFULLY -- make contact with an omega tribe. Study them. Reach out to them. /Understand/ them. I want our university to be the first to do it.”
The two professors went quiet for a moment...
...then burst out laughing.

The dean ruffled. “I’m /not/ joking.”
“With all due respect,” Shinsou wiped a tear from his eye, “you realize you’re asking us to not only break /our/ laws, but break tribal law--”

“Who cares about worthless omega tribal law?” The dean went sour-faced. “Like it means anything.”
“It /does/ mean something.” Midoriya crossed his legs. “It means they can kill you, and,” he bobbled his head from side to side, rolling his eyes to the ceiling, “judging on the failure rate of previous expeditions--”
“Which is one-hundred percent, might I add,” Shinsou slipped in.

“--they probably will.”

“So, you’re essentially asking us to go on a s/uicide mission.” Shinsou shrugged.

“Yup.” Midoriya nodded. “And it just doesn’t sound very appealing.”
“And I’m suddenly realizing that ‘classified,’” Shinsou made finger quotes around the last word, “means, ‘not reviewed by an ethics committee,’ which is also potentially /professional/ s/uicide, so.”
“But they’re /omegas/,” the dean insisted. “Weak, pitiful, pathetic, unintelligent, helpless creatures which we have power over.”
“And THAT’S the kind of thinking that made them do what they did in the first place.” Shinsou gave the dean a sadistic smile. “You’re truly a relic, sir.” Shinsou coughed. “/Asshole/.”

“/Mega asshole/,” Midoriya coughed, as well.

“What was that?” The dean eyed them.
“Just a little frog in my throat.” Placing a fist over his mouth, Shinsou cleared his throat.

Raising his eyebrows, Midoriya shook his head. “If they’re all that you say they are, they wouldn’t’ve been able to do what they’ve done.

And hearing a mindset like yours, well...I’m happy they did.”

“After all,” Shinsou continued, “every peer-reviewed study ever published on the remains of omegas state that they are just as intelligent as alphas and betas;
the only differences lie in the hormonal levels, olfactory receptors, scent glands, height, and reproductive organs.”

“As we say in academia,” Midoriya smiled, “your hypothesis is wrong, dip shit.”

Both staring at the dean, Shinsou reached out a hand, and Midoriya slapped it.
Shinsou could almost /see/ the gears changing in the dean’s head as he stared at him. “But don’t you want to be the first anthropologists to have real, qualitative research on omegas?”

“We can’t do that from the grave.” Midoriya shifted around.
Shinsou pointed at Midoriya. “What he said.”

“Listen, gentlemen,” the dean leaned back in his chair, “it’s not so much /me/ who wants this to happen as much as it is,” he tucked his chin and raised his eyebrows, “‘The Brotherhood.’”
Shinsou blinked. “This meeting is completely classified? I can't be fired for anything I say?”

The dean nodded and smiled. “Nothing you say will leave this room, and you won't suffer repercussions of any kind.”

“Good.” Shinsou leaned forward. “/FUCK/ The Brotherhood.”
“How /dare/ you!” the dean scowled.

“Oh,” Midoriya said calmly, “we /dare/. The alpha brotherhood is a total farce, and I, for one, want nothing to do with it.”
“I share my colleague’s opinion.” Shinsou scoffed. “You want to fuck a guy in the pussy so badly, you’d send us to our deaths? Fuck you /AND/ The brotherhood.” Shinsou looked at his watch. “I have a class to teach in twenty minutes.” He got to his feet.
“And I was working on a study that needs to be edited by next week.” Midoriya got to his feet as well. “This has all been a fantastic waste of time.”

Shinsou pointed at the other professor. “What he said.”

They both headed for the door.
“Would you do it for a $50,000 no-questions-asked grant and a six month sabbatical?”

The professors both paused, then turned back toward the dean.

"AND tenure?"

Shinsou and Midoriya looked at each other.

“When do we leave?”
Here's some more.

Please make sure to RT/QRT if you have comments, OK? I love your commentary, but it can break the chain.
Once Shinsou and Midoriya had left the building, assignment paperwork in-hand, Midoriya got so close to his colleague that they were nearly touching shoulders.
“I’m having second thoughts, Shinsou,” he whispered. “That offer felt too good to decline, but,” he looked around, “it’s unethical and scary and I don’t want to do it.”

“That’s why we’re /not/ doing it.” Shinsou looked at him. “And you don’t need to whisper; we’re outside.”
“Wait, we’re not?”

Shinsou rolled his eyes. “Of /course/ not.”

Midoriya blinked at him. “Then why did we say we would?”

“To get the perks, dummy. We’re going to get a six month lease on an apartment near tribal land and tell them we couldn’t get anything. Done.”
“Oh.” Midoriya looked forward, then back at Shinsou. “What’re we going to do for six months, though?”
Shinsou shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to read all of the books on my Kindle, sleep sixteen hours a day, and finally watch every episode of ‘The Outer Limits.’ Maybe I’ll even try something new -- like salvia.”
“But doesn’t lying to them make you nervous? Them sending us to the tribe, knowing it might hurt the omegas or us, is wrong, but lying about it and taking the money is wrong, too.”

“Look, Midoriya,” he stopped and turned to him, “I went to school for ten /years/.

I /just/ made associate professor after being an adjunct, making slave labor wages for three. I make $30,000 a year, and between the grading and the office hours and the amount of studies we have to publish every year, I need a fucking break;
if they’re stupid enough to allow me to make more than what I make in a year in six months while giving me a vacation, AND tenure, you bet your sweet /ass/ I’m going to do it.”
Midoriya pressed his lips together and looked away for a moment. “The money, though...shouldn’t we feel bad about that? We’re stealing from the university.”
“Wake up, Midoriya: the grants they promised us are coming from The Brotherhood, /not/ the university. Just think of it as ‘bleeding the beast.’”

Unable to stop himself, Midoriya let out a little laugh. “That /is/ a different story, isn’t it?”
“Completely. If anything, we’d be /helping/ the omegas by doing this.”

“Yeah.” As the sentence sank in, convincing him more and more, Midoriya nodded. “Yeah, we would, wouldn’t we?”
Shinsou nodded, too. “Absolutely.” Slapping Midoriya on the arm, he started walking, once more. “So, no need to worry at all.”

“Well,” Midoriya kept up his pace with Shinsou's, “there is /one/ thing I’m worried about.”

“And that is?”
“We can’t just return completely empty-handed. We’d need /something/ to tell them.”

“That’s why we go and collect anecdotal evidence from the locals -- you know, listen to their,” Shinsou lifted his hands up and wiggled his fingers,

“/scary stories/ about the omegas and how people never return. Shit like that.” He opened the door to the building, allowing Midoriya to walk ahead of him. “It’ll be fine, Midoriya; relax.”

Finally, Midoriya smiled. “We have six months to figure it out, right?”
“That’s right.” Shinsou smiled back, then came to a stop outside of a classroom. “This’s where I get off, but good luck on your study.”

“Good luck in your class!” Midoriya waved at him.
“See you.” Shinsou opened the door, and all of the kids groaned. “Yes, I showed up; it’s great to see you, too,” he announced.

Letting out a giggle, Midoriya headed back toward his office.

//He’s right; it’ll be OK.
No; it /will/.
...I hope.//
Closing his eyes, he shook his head.

//Still...something in my gut’s telling me it’s a bad idea.
I don’t think I want to do this.
Shinsou makes it sound so simple, but taking money and lying about?
Even worse: actually trying to make contact with the tribe will get us k/illed!//
He whimpered, then took a breath.

Stop thinking about.
Just get your study done, Izuku.
You have a class to teach in three hours.//

“...so, I think, uh,” Midoriya glanced at his computer clock, “that’s our time.”

Everybody in the classroom started packing up and talking.

“Don’t forget: your final paper is due Friday -- FRIDAY!” he shouted over the noise. “Don’t get spring fever and forget, OK?”
//Oh, they don’t care.
They never do.//

Letting out a sigh, Midoriya closed his laptop and disconnected it from the projector.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?” Midoriya raised his eyebrows and looked up at three of his female students, who were grinning at him.
After looking at each other, they all whispered and giggled a little, and finally, the one on the right spoke: “We were wondering something, Professor.”

Abandoning his computer, he stepped beside the podium, a bit closer to them. “That’s why I’m here.” He smiled. “Ask away.”
“It’s kind of,” the student on the left raised an eyebrow, “personal...I guess you’d say.”

Furrowing his brow, Midoriya cocked his head. “Personal?”

The one in the center smacked the one on the left, then smiled at him. “We were just wondering whether or not you were an alpha?”
A strained smile usurping his lips, his hand reflexively came to the back of his head as he looked down. “A-heh...”

“WE!” He recognized the voice as the student on the right, and when he looked up, he confirmed he was correct. “I mean...we were just wondering because, well...”
“You’re like, six-five,” the one in the center stated.

“And you’re muscly.” The one on the left sized him up and down.

The one on the right nodded. “But you’re also kind of...quiet? Humble, even? So, we were just curious.”
“Hm.” He could feel himself blushing from discomfort, and he hated it. Gaze slipping to the front row of chairs in the lecture hall, and hand slipping from his head to the back of his neck, he nodded. “I think of myself more as just a garden variety nerd, though.”
“Aw!” they all sang, sounding overcome, then giggled.

“Are you single?”

Eyes wide, his head came up. “HUH?”

“KASEY!” Center slapped Right.
“I MEAN,” Right laughed, “I’m just wondering if, like...it’s hard to date as an alpha, you know, with all of the omegas being almost non-existent, and all. I’ve heard somewhere that alphas could date, like, other alphas and betas, but it’s not the same...you know?”
Left looked from Right to Midoriya. “I’d be interested in knowing that, too.”

“Well,” Midoriya gulped, “if alphas only had successful relationships with omegas, there wouldn’t be alphas anymore, would there?”
Center nodded. “That’s a good point, but...is it unfulfilling? Like, would they always, in the back of their minds, at least, want an omega, instead? Even without knowing it?”

“Um...?” He could feel himself starting to sweat, so he dropped his arm. “I don’t /think/ so?

For me, it’d be more about the /person/, rather than their secondary gender...but I’m probably not a veracious source to cite, seeing as I spend my Saturday nights with textbooks and research papers.” He forced a laugh.
“Aw!” they sang, again.

//Oh my GOD I’m uncomfortable...//

“Is it true that alphas have /huge/--”

Center slapped a hand over Right’s mouth, then gave him a nervous laugh.

But Right peeled Center’s hand away. “Can I /at least/ know if they can knot betas, or--”
“SHUT UP!” Center hissed.

“Those,” his voice cracked, “are questions for Google.”

//I’m going to faint.//

“Yes, /they are/.” Left widened her eyes at Right in warning, then looked back at him with a smile. “Sorry about her; we’re trying to get her help.”
Midoriya let out a strained laugh that made him sound like even more of a nerd than he already was. “So, are we done here? Because your questions are kind of k/illing me, and I kind of have plans tomorrow.”

The students laughed.
The students laughed.

“We’re good!” Center grinned. “Thanks, Professor Midoriya!”

“Thanks!” Left and Right sang.

“A-heh, you’re welcome,” he practically squeaked.

The students turned to leave, but they were speaking a bit louder than they should’ve been.
“I can’t /believe/ you tried to ask Professor Big Daddy about his hm-hm!” he heard one of them say. “We can’t take you /anywhere/!”

His eyes widened.

//...P-Professor /Big Daddy/?
/That’s/ what they refer to me as behind my back?//
He covered his face and groaned.

//That’s /HUMILIATING/!//

Shinsou sighed as he walked down the hall of his department.

He didn’t have office hours today, got through both of his classes, and was ready to go home and grade some papers.

He opened the door to his joint office with Midoriya...
...and went still.
Midoriya sat at his desk, slowly pounding his forehead against the top of it.

“Bad day?”

The pounding stopped, and he just rested his head on the desk. “You have no idea...” Midoriya’s muffled voice was just barely audible.
Blowing a breath out of his nose, Shinsou stepped into the office and closed the door. “What happened?” He leaned against the door.

“Apparently...I have a nickname.”

Shinsou couldn’t help but smile. “Oh yeah? What is it?”
Still not picking up his head, Midoriya sighed. “...Professor Big Daddy.”

Pressing his fingertips to his lips, Shinsou held in a laugh; he kind of /had/ to, with how defeated his poor colleague sounded. “That’s not too bad.”

“Yes, it is.” Midoriya whined. “It’s humiliating.”
“At least it’s complimentary.” Smiling, Shinsou crossed his arms. “Believe me: it could be /way/ worse.”


Shinsou shrugged. “Last semester, they were calling me Professor Jungle Gym.”

Midoriya picked up his head, giving him a confused look -- mouth hanging open and all.
Raising his eyebrows, Shinsou nodded. “As in, they wanted to climb me like one?”

Pushing his bottom lip up, Midoriya was clearly trying not to smile, and it made Shinsou laugh a little.

“It’s OK; you can laugh at me.”

Midoriya gave him a shy smile. “It’s just clever, is all.”
“I gave them points for creativity.” Shinsou pushed himself off of the door. “It’s common, Midoriya; don’t let it get to you. Just be grateful it wasn't something insulting; it could've been Professor Cunt Face.”
“True, but something added to it.” Midoriya groaned as he scratched at the back of his head. “A group of students asked me if I was alpha today.”

Making a low, closed-mouth laugh, Shinsou sat on his own desk. “That’s tame. I get asked at least once a year if I can knot a beta.”
Midoriya nodded. “They asked me that, too.”

Shinsou shook his head. “It’s just the alpha body; betas are fascinated by it -- until they realize that we’re normal douchebags, like the rest of them.”

“With embarrassingly enormous hm-hms.” Midoriya sighed.
“And embarrassingly enormous egos.”

“That, too.” Midoriya peeked up at him, giving him a far too innocent smile. “But hey: at least you and I didn’t wind up with the second mentioned endowment.”

“HA. Yeah.” Shinsou shook his head. “Academia will beat the ego right out of you.”
“/That’s/ for sure.” Midoriya moaned.

“Is something else wrong?”

Midoriya shook his head. “I just wish they’d see me as a genderless instrument of learning instead of an alpha; it’s embarrassing. When they were asking me all of that, I just wanted to disappear.”
“Well, I don’t know how to make them think you’re a Ken doll, but,” Shinsou did his announcer voice, knowing that it usually made his colleague smile, “gooooooood news!” He pointed at Midoriya. “We’re /going/ to disappear -- for six months!”
Making a little grin, Midoriya looked down at his desk. “You know, I was still questioning whether or not I wanted to back out of that decision--”

“Even after our little talk?”

Looking up at him, Midoriya nodded. “But now, I think I’m on board. I need a break from all of this.”
“If I’d known referring to you as Big Daddy would do the trick, I would’ve led with it.” Shinsou wiggled an eyebrow at him. “Either way, I’m happy that you’ve come to your senses.”

“Yeah.” Midoriya looked at his desk. “Hey; have you ever been in a relationship before?”
Shinsou cocked his head and slid his eyes to the left before answering. “Does it count as a relationship if you went on three dates, then the person saw your dick and ran away screaming?”

Looking horrifically sympathetic, Midoriya just stared at him. “Ow. That hurt to hear.”
“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you that they never called again, either.”

Shaking his head, Midoriya leaned back in his chair. “Why do people want to be alphas? It /sucks/.”

“Yea-ha, it does.” Shinsou sighed, but managed to smile at him. “How about you?”
Midoriya just shook his head. “I’m too shy to talk to people.”

“That’s not true: you talk to me.”

“You’re different.”
“You talk to entire classrooms, librarians, asshole assistant deans--”

“But that’s about my work; it’s different when it’s interpersonal communication. I just...freeze up. I’m kind of terrified of people.”
“Calling it interpersonal communication is real catnip for a potential mate, you know. People love it when you sound like a textbook.”
“Why am I like this?” He covered his face. “I’m relieved that we /are/ shyster-ing the whole deal; could you imagine /me/, trying to build relationships and trust with a tribe? They’d roast me on a spit within five minutes.”
Shinsou snorted. “You need to give yourself more credit. You’re extremely personable; I’d even go so far as to call you sweet --” he pointed at him, “but I’ll never admit it to anybody else, so fuck you.”
Midoriya laughed, then gave him a touched smile. “Thanks. I think you’re a personable and sweet person, too...you know, under the veneer of sarcasm and hatred for humanity.”

“Ow.” Shinsou grabbed his chest. “My reputation.”

Midoriya laughed, again. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“So, why did you ask me about my past relationships -- or, more accurately, lack thereof?”
“One of those students who asked me about the alpha thing today? She had a really unique question for me, but,” Midoriya shook his head, “I’ve never dated anybody, so I didn’t really know what to tell her. I just said what I believed to be true for /me/, you know?”
Shinsou crossed his legs. “Ow my balls.” Then uncrossed them.

“You need to stop trying to do the ‘sexy secretary’ pose; we’ve been over this.”

“I know.” Shinsou sighed. “Anyway, what was the question?”
“She wanted to know whether or not an alpha could be truly fulfilled in an omega-less relationship.”

“What’d you tell her?”

“That, for me, personally, I wouldn’t think it’d be an issue because I’d be more interested in the person, as opposed to the gender.”
Shinsou bobbled his head. “Being the demi-pansexuals we are, I’d be inclined to agree.”

“Can I just add, really fast, that I love how we have that in common?”

“It’s practically the reason we’re friends, Midoriya.”
Midoriya grinned at him. “But, back on topic...we’ve never been in front of an omega before; how would we even know?”

Shinsou pointed at him. “That’s not true. I have.”

Midoriya’s eyes went huge. “What? WHEN? /How/?”
“I watched an interview on Youtube with an omega, so technically speaking--”

Midoriya gave him a look. “That /doesn’t/ count!”

“Let’s cut the shit.” Shinsou got to his feet. “What’s the existential crisis about /this/ time?”
“It’s not an existential crisis, it’s just...” Midoriya looked away from him and shook his head, “what if we /were/ to make contact with the tribe, and being around them changed /everything/ for us?”
Shinsou rolled his eyes. “OK, one? If we ‘make contact with the tribe,’ it won’t matter because,” he put his hands up in front of himself, and pulled his mouth tight, “we’ll be d/ead.” He clapped his hands together. “And two? You’re thinking /way/ too hard about this.”
“You ever think that maybe, you’re just not thinking about it hard enough?”

“Why, I /never/!”


“If we meet them for real, it /will/ change everything, just...not the way you’re thinking.”
Midoriya sighed. “But I’m /already/ dysfunctional when it comes to dating, so what if--”

“Do you /hear/ yourself when you talk?” Shinsou rolled his eyes. “Since /when/ do you even care about this shit?”

“Every time I’m rutting.”

Shinsou laughed.
Letting out an unwilling laugh, Midoriya rubbed his face. “It’s just making me anxious, is all.”

“I know it is.” Shinsou sighed through his nose. “And it’s also affecting your ability to be an impartial observer.”
Mouth dropping open, Midoriya dropped his hands and looked at him. “Oh no. You’re right.”

Raising his eyebrows, Shinsou nodded. “YEAH. So knock it the fuck off, will you?”

“Yes, sir.” Midoriya gave him puppy eyes.
Letting out a soft laugh, Shinsou leaned over and grabbed his bag. “Listen.” He stood up. “My secret hypothesis, granted we /do/ make contact, which,” he gave a nod, “we won’t, but if we /do/...I think we’ll learn that our differences aren’t as strong as the human spirit.”
After staring at him for a moment, a smile spread across Midoriya’s face. “That’s not only a very reasonable hypothesis...it’s a beautiful one, too. I hope you’re right about it.”
Shinsou waved a dismissive hand at him. “I’m always right.” He headed for the door. “You know that.”

Shinsou looked back at his smiling friend. “Don’t think too hard, Big Daddy.”

Midoriya laughed. “No promises, Jungle Gym.”

Shinsou gave him a grin, then left the office.
The rest of the spring semester flew by.

...There /was/ only two weeks left of it upon receiving the tribe study assignment, anyway; tack on another week for grading, and that’s a wrap.
Even though Midoriya still had some reservations about the plan to Krippendorf’s Tribe the whole situation, he went along with it, anyway.
He and Shinsou packed up all of their belongings and moved them into a shared storage unit to save money -- they even bought equipment suitable to survive a jungle to make it look legitimate -- then made the journey over to the closest town to the tribal land.
Despite the area being 19 hours away by car, and it being a real one-horse town with absolutely nothing to do but drink yourself stupid, Midoriya couldn’t complain about the weather.
It was a tropical climate, and that’s something he’d always wanted to experience; his family didn’t travel much when he was a child, and he’d spent his entire adulthood being broke, so it wasn’t like he could take /himself/.
Great weather or not, transitioning from always being busy to having absolutely /nothing/ to do comes with consequences: it was around the two week mark that those consequences really started setting in for Midoriya.
“I’m /bored/.” Midoriya collapsed onto the couch beside Shinsou, who was already on the last few episodes of ‘The Outer Limits,’ and was smoking a joint.

“Then go get me some Taco Bell.” Shinsou exhaled a plume of smoke. “I want a Baja Blast more than I want to /breathe/.”
“I’m not driving an hour each way to go get you Taco Bell again! The ice will melt by the time I get back here, anyway.” Midoriya swatted at the air. “And would you stop smoking that stuff in the living room? It smells like you got sideways with a skunk.”
Shinsou took another toke off of his joint. “Midoriya, you need to relax, bro.”

“And it makes you call everything ‘bro!’”

Extinguishing the joint, Shinsou looked at him, his eyes sleepier than usual. “Don’t you mean ‘every/body/?’”
“No. Yesterday, you called the refrigerator, a cereal box, and a stray cat ‘bro.’”

“Heh-heh, oh yeah...” Shinsou grinned, staring off ahead of him. “The cat shouldn’t count, though; cats are people, too.”

Midoriya rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
Once he picked up the remote, Shinsou paused the DVD. “Me thinks my Jolly Green Giant is getting the cabin fevers; care to discuss?”

Sighing, Midoriya leaned back onto the couch. “This just doesn’t feel right, Shinsou.”

“I told you: we’re going to be /fine/.”
“Yeah, /how/ do you know that, though?”

Shinsou rested his elbows onto his knees.

“You think those precious bitches in The Brotherhood are going to goose step their too-good-for-this-shit asses all the way to west bum-fucked Egypt and risk getting the smell of commoner on their clothing /just/ to check on us? Get real, Midoriya.”
Tightening a corner of his mouth, Midoriya looked at him. “One-hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money, though; don’t you think they’ll care if it goes to waste?”
“OK.” Shinsou turned more toward him. “Say you make, I don’t know...five-hundred million a year -- which, quite a few of them do.”


“That’s roughly...” Shinsou rolled his eyes upward in thought, “forty million a month.”

“Sounds accurate.” Midoriya nodded.
“You think you’re going to piss down your pant leg over a measly one-hundred K? No. You’d wipe your /ass/ with it.”

Midoriya couldn’t help but smile. “You /do/ make a great argument.”
Shinsou nodded. “That money may be a lot to /us/, but it’s a drop in the bucket to those fuck clowns; you really think they’re going to waste their time on that? If anything, it’s a fucking tax write-off for them.”
“But what if they send somebody else to check on us? They have assistants and helpers, you know.”
Shinsou shook his head. “I haven’t caught the scent of one alpha since we’ve been here. The entire town is so full of betas, the fucking record scratches every time we step into the God damn grocery store.”
“Yeah; you have a point. But, speaking of which...that’s another thing I’m anxious about.” Midoriya could feel the stress in his brow. “I feel like everybody here hates us. How are we going to get them to tell us local lore if they aren’t even willing to say ‘good morning?’”
Shinsou waved a dismissive hand at him. “They’ll come around.”

Uncrossing his arms, Midoriya let out a sigh.

“I’m assuming by that sound you just made that we haven’t addressed everything yet.” Shinsou leaned back on the couch.
Midoriya shook his head. “I guess it just bothers me that we’re less than a half of a mile away from the reserve, and, instead of studying an untouched tribe, I’m sitting here, watching you smoke pot and eat Taco Bell.”
“Let’s rescript that sentence, shall we?” Shinsou cleared his throat.

“I guess it just bothers me that we’re less than a half of a mile away from the reserve, and, instead of d/ying a painful and horrific d/eath, I’m sitting here, watching you smoke pot and /refusing/ to get you Taco Bell...which, I still want, by the way. Like.../really/ badly.”
Propping an elbow up on the arm of the couch, Midoriya made a fist, and rested his head on it.

“When you decided to be an anthropologist...didn’t you have dreams? Didn’t you ever fantasize about living with a tribe in the Amazon, or discovering untouched historical artifacts, knowing that other people would learn about it because of /you/?”
“You wanted to be Indiana Jones, didn’t you, Midoriya?”

Blink, blink. “Well...” He looked down, feeling himself blush a little.
“It’s OK; every anthropologist, archeologist, and ethnographer wanted to be Indiana Jones, at some point. Either that, or Dances with Wolves.” Shinsou crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling...then uncrossed one arm pointed at him.

“/Although/, the latter typically just wound up being that person in high school who liked horses, had a dog named Scout, and became inexplicably good at braiding hair. They now do taxes at H&R Block, because academia wasn’t for them.

They don’t have an accounting degree, and they get shit for it from actual accountants, but...” he smiled and nodded, “they’re making it work.”

“/GOD/, I hate you when you’re high...” Midoriya dragged his hands down his face. “Do you have a point?”
“Yes.” Shinsou looked at him. “You /aren’t/ Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones had these magical things called ‘script writers’ who could get him out of tough spots and, most importantly, made sure he survived.”
Midoriya pressed his lips together in a pout. “I know...but I don’t want to spend my entire career, drowning in mediocrity. I want to /discover/ something, you know? /Do/ something that’s meaningful to society.”
“We all did, at one point -- otherwise, we wouldn’t’ve spent this much time, money, and effort trying to make it happen. It sucks, but you need to come to terms with the fact that it’s probably just not going to happen. Hell, I came to terms with it years ago.”
He gave Shinsou a hopeless look. “But I don’t want to carry around an unfulfilled dream.”

Pulling a corner of his mouth, Shinsou shook his head. “Then, you probably should’ve been born in the 1920s.

All of the good stuff’s been discovered...unless you want to take your chances with the Sentinelese, which...a-hah, is super reminding me of the omega tribe out there.”

Midoriya nodded. “They kind of remind me of them, too.”
“Look at the bright side: we haven’t been banned from Tristan da Cunha.” Shinsou paused. “At least, not /yet/.”

Midoriya snorted, then smiled at him.
“As much as I’ve been naysaying, I do understand where you’re coming from. It really sucks when you want to be an adventurer and pioneer, but there’s no more frontier left to conquer.” Shinsou sighed.
“But that’s the frustrating thing about all of this.” Midoriya pointed toward the window. “There /is/ a frontier...and it’s right there.”

“Look, Indie,” Shinsou turned toward him, “how about we do something to mitigate the pain of your dreams dying?”
“Like what?” Midoriya blinked at him.

Shinsou smiled. “We could take a constitutional by the border of the reserve. You know...do some omega watching.”

Giving him a smile, Midoriya nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Well, then,” Shinsou got to his feet, “let’s do it.”
Get your Baja Blast at the ready.
We're going omega watching.
Shinsou and Midoriya stood at the border of the omega tribal reserve.

The particular place they had chose was technically an entrance, as it did have a gate in the fence, as well as a road leading directly to it, but it was covered in various signs.




One just had a skull and cross bones on it.
“You think they don’t want us in there?” His arms crossed, Shinsou glanced at Midoriya, then shook his head and shrugged. “I honestly can’t tell.”

Midoriya swatted at him. “Shh. I want to see if I can hear anything.”

They both went quiet.

Shinsou leaned over to him. “You /do/ realize that the reserve is close to a thousand square miles, and they’re probably nowhere near here, right?”

Midoriya rolled his eyes. “Then why didn’t we get an apartment closer to a Baja Blast?”
“Because this is the only formal entrance. And I had actually forgotten about the Baja Blast, so fuck you for bringing it up again.”

Midoriya sniffed the air.
Then did it again.
And again.

“...What’re you doing?”

“Trying to see if I can smell anything.”
“Midoriya, do you really think they were stupid enough to settle so close to the borders that alphas could smell them? Because /I/...fucking doubt it.”
Midoriya looked at him. “I was thinking more along the lines of fire -- smoke. The sun’s about to set, and with the foliage being so thick, it’s probably getting really dark around the settlement.”

“That’s a lofty assessment.”

“How so?”
“Agriculture; you have to clear out areas to do that.”

“They could be hunter gatherers, for all we know.”

“The tribe’s fifty years old: they fucking farm.”

Midoriya looked at him. “It’s /still/ a presumption.”
“Yeah, one I’m willing to bet you as many dollars as they are years old I’m right about.”

“Either way, it could still be darker there. The surrounding trees could--”
They both jumped upon hearing the gravel on the road behind them pop and shift; turning around, they found a truck heading toward them.

“Well, lookie here, ‘Doriya,” Shinsou said in his country bumpkin voice, “we’s gots companeh!”
“I realize you're still high, but don’t be a smart ass, Shinsou,” Midoriya ventriloquized through a fake, toothy smile, “I /beg/ of you.” He waved at the truck.

“Suck up.”

The truck turned off, and an older man got out; Shinsou covertly sniffed the air.

//Definitely a beta.//
“Hi, there!” Midoriya was doing that cringe-y, over-friendly, nervous politician voice of his -- the one that annoyed the shit out of Shinsou. “How are you?”

But the man just waved an annoyed hand at him. “Let’s toss the formalities, shall we?”
“Oh, I like /him/.” Shinsou nodded, then bopped Midoriya with his shoulder.

The man walked a bit closer. “One of our residents told me that there were two unfamiliar faces heading toward the entrance of the reserve.”
Smiling at him, Shinsou untucked one of his crossed arms to give him a wave. “That’d be us.”

“I’m aware, moron.” The man glared at him. “We’re a small community, here -- a small, /quiet/ community--”

//I’m aware, /moron/.//
“--and we want to keep it that way. We also notice everything, especially if an outsider’s involved.”

“I-I swear,” Midoriya gulped before he could continue, “we weren’t trying to upset anybody; we promise!”

Holding up a hand at him, Shinsou sighed. “Midoriya?”
The green haired man went quiet.

“Listen,” Shinsou turned to the man, “we were just taking a walk; is that some kind of crime?”

The man smiled at him. “If it were, I’d’ve sent the police out here to deal with you.”
“Well,” Shinsou lifted then dropped a hand, then glanced at Midoriya, “there you go.”

“But when I come down here and find you two alpha boys, staring down the tribal reserve entrance at dusk like a dog staring at a slab of meat, well...that’s where I come in.”
Dropping his head slightly to the side, Shinsou parted his lips. “That’s not--”

“You can make up all of the excuses you want once I’m done telling you what needs to be said.”

Shinsou placed his hands on his hips and relented.
“We have alphas come down here, doing exactly what you’re doing all of the time: they always wind up going in, thinking they’re some kind of God damn super human, and they never come back out.”

The man gave them a smug smile. “You alphas think you’re so much better and stronger and smarter than everybody else -- especially some omegas...but you never are.”
“Wait a second.” Shinsou put a hand up at him. “Alphas infiltrate the reserve? Like, they’ve done it recently?”

The man laughed. “Is that a serious question?”

Shinsou nodded. “It is.”

“Yes, they’ve done it recently! They do it /constantly/.”
Shinsou and Midoriya looked at each other.

“Then, their families come looking for their d/ead carcasses, and turn our community into a damn three ring circus.” The man glared at him.
“But...” mouth hanging open, Midoriya shook his head, “we were told that the last expedition into an omega reserve happened twenty-three years ago.”
“Well, that’s a big, steaming pile of bullshit. Last time it happened was five months ago -- and that was just /here/. We’ve finally decided to try talking sense into people before it happens, so that’s cut down on some of the breeches, but it still happens.”
“I’m sorry,” Shinsou closed his eyes for a second, then shook his head, “/how/ is this not getting out to the media?”

The man crossed his arms. “Well, /we’re/ certainly not saying anything to the media; they’d make the circus last longer.

And I’m assuming the alphas’ families cover it up because they’re embarrassed that some ‘less-thans’ got the better of their perfect alpha children -- that’s just a guess, though.”

Shinsou and Midoriya looked at each other, again, and nodded.
“Sounds like something they’d do,” Midoriya admitted.

“A very valid presumption.” Shinsou cleared his throat.

“Listen,” the man continued, “you two seem like reasonable boys, and I want to get back home for dinner, so I’m going to make this quick, OK?”

He looked between them. “I know that it /seems/ like an all-you-can-fuck buffet out there, but I promise you: if you go behind that fence, it’ll be your grave.”

“I had -- and still have -- no plans of going in.” Shinsou gave him a smile.
Midoriya just looked down, scratching the back of his neck.

“Now, that’s good,” the man pointed at Shinsou, “that’s the smart thing to do.

But, just in case you change your mind, I want you to write a letter to your next of kin, and explain to them what you did /before/ you do it, and inform them that we can’t help them recover your body.

We can’t negotiate with the tribe, we can’t send a search party, and we don’t have a helicopter: understood?”

“Totally.” Shinsou nodded happily.

“They don’t want you, and they don’t want your dick, no matter how great you think it is.”
Shinsou blotted his lips, trying not to laugh.

“Oh, we know that!” Midoriya finally spoke up. “We’re actually anthropologists, and we just wanted to find out more about the effects having a reserve this close to a town can have on its residents.”
“It /blows/,” the man spat.

Shinsou slapped a hand over his mouth and turned to the side.

“Yeah, I bet it does!” Midoriya let out a strained laugh. “Have you lived here your whole life?”

The man nodded. “Yes, I have.”
“So, would you happen to know the age of this tribe?” Midoriya pointed a finger behind him.

“Well, I was twelve when they settled here, so,” letting out a sigh, the man crossed his arms, “‘bout forty-eight years old.”
“Oh, wow!” Midoriya’s face genuinely lit up, exuding child-like innocence, and Shinsou could tell it disarmed the man a bit further; it was difficult not to like Midoriya when he made that face. “Do you remember it happening, then?”
“Of course.” The man nodded. “There were thousands of omegas coming in; they came over the span of a year or two. They had to fight every step of the way to get what they wanted, and I saw it almost first-hand; I respect them for it.”
“I do, too! They were so cool, going off on their own like that! And you’re so lucky! I wish I could’ve seen something so amazing!”

The man succumbed to a shy smile.

//See, Midoriya?
Sweet and personable, just like I said.//
“The /really/ amazing thing I saw was the inside of the reserve.” The man pointed at the gate.

Eyes going wide and sparkling, Midoriya’s mouth opened. “REALLY?”
The man nodded. “They used to let betas in for tours. As a matter of fact, that’s why this road’s here -- to let the omegas and tourists in. Unfortunately, that’s why we can’t just block it off, completely;
it’s not our property, so we can’t do anything to it, and we certainly can’t get the tribe’s permission.” He sighed. “But, anyway. Yeah; I’ve been in there...before the visits caused too many problems and they stopped doing tours.”

“What’s it like in there?”
The man shook his head. “They were just starting to build, so it was pretty primitive. But I remember that they were settled by the river, and there were some springs around, too -- you know, the kind with really clear water?”
Midoriya nodded. “Of course! They probably get a lot of minerals from it, too! Wow, that’s so cool!” He looked at Shinsou. “Isn’t that cool?”

“It’s cool, Midoriya.” Shinsou gave him a little smile.

“Do they have cars or electricity or plumbing or anything like that?”
The man shook his head. “The plumbing, I don’t know about, but they don’t have electricity or cars.”

“How do you know that?” Shinsou shifted his weight.
“Well, they’re about twenty miles inward, so if they had electricity, we would’ve noticed. Besides, you have to /pay/ for electricity, and they don’t do business with the outside. As for cars, well...they’d have to run on magic, because they sure don’t have gas.”
“Good point.” Shinsou nodded. “Twenty miles inward, though? Those border hoppers must be pretty motivated if they don’t mind walking that far.”

The man just looked at him and smiled for a moment. “Come here.”
Taking a flashlight from his back pocket, the man brushed past Shinsou and Midoriya, toward the gate, and the two followed him. Once he turned on the flashlight, he stopped around two feet away from a particular sign, and lit it up. “You see that? Upper left-hand corner.”
Shinsou squinted; he could tell Midoriya was doing the same.

There was a reddish-brown smudge on the rusted sign; upon closer look, Shinsou realized it was in the shape of three fingers.
Eyes big, a chill ran down his back, and he looked at the man, who smiled and nodded at him.

“You want to tell me who the /real/ motivated ones are, son?”

Shinsou and Midoriya looked at each other in disbelief.
The man clicked the flashlight off with a laugh, then turned around. “On that note,” he started back toward his truck, “I’ve got to get back home, but you boys can come talk to me at city hall anytime we’re open.”
“Uh,” Midoriya squeaked, “that’s s-so nice of you; thanks!” He and Shinsou followed the man to his truck.

“Wait,” Shinsou shook his head, “city hall?”

“That’s right. I /am/ the mayor, after all.”
“Wow!” Midoriya’s eyes lit back up. “We met the mayor?”

The man let out a laugh, then opened the door to the truck. “Hey...are you /sure/ you two are alphas? You /look/ like alphas but,” he shook his head, “you sure don’t behave like them.”
“Well, we work in higher education, so,” Shinsou nodded, “we hate ourselves.”

Midoriya nodded happily.

“AH.” The man nodded to them. “You boys be safe walking home.” Then pointed at them. “And /don’t/ do anything stupid.”
“Define stupid.”

Midoriya smacked him, then turned back to the mayor. “We won’t! Have a good night! Drive safe! Bye! Thank you!”

Shinsou smacked him back.
The man waved before getting into the truck, and they waited for him to reverse down the road before they started back home.

“Well,” Shinsou looked at Midoriya, “that was enlightening.”
“Yeah.” Midoriya gave him a frazzled look. “It really was. I don’t even know where to start with internalizing all of it.”
As he walked, Shinsou stuck his hands in his pockets. “I think you should start with the fact that you were great in winning him over. He came here to give us a warning, and left with a new friend.”

“Friends,” Midoriya corrected him.
“Your friendship-making skills were so strong, it just pulled me along; I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.” Shinsou smiled at him as he laughed.
“I’m just relieved I didn’t screw it up, but at the same time, I don’t know how I did it.” Midoriya shrugged. “I honestly wasn’t even trying. I was just fanboy-ing.”
“That’s how you did it; you were yourself...like you are when you’re with me.” They turned onto the main road. “There’s really no secret to it.”

Midoriya looked past Shinsou, and furrowed his brow. “What’s HPC?”
“Huh?” Shinsou followed his eyes to a big sign that said, ‘HPC: Coming Soon.’ “Head Penis...Canon?”

Midoriya snorted. “I doubt it.”

“Then, some douche-y company whose CEO is too lazy to spell.” Shinsou shrugged.
“They’re pretty close to tribal land, aren’t they?”

“Balls of steel.”

Midoriya laughed, and it made Shinsou smile.

“You seem like you’re in a better mood. Fancy that; we didn’t even spot one omega, either.”
Looking down the empty road, Midoriya shrugged. “I guess it just feels like we’re getting somewhere now.”

Shinsou nodded. “I’m grateful for the old mayor; he turned your fixation onto him, as opposed to Jurassic Park over there.”
Whipping his head in Shinsou’s direction, Midoriya’s eyes went wide. “Can you /believe/ that sign? It wasn’t lost on you, right?”
“What, that they’re so ‘motivated’ to kill trespassers that they’d hunt them down for twenty miles, let them almost taste sweet freedom, then m/urder them at the gate?”



Midoriya shoved him.
“You know, though,” Shinsou raised his eyebrows and nodded, “that’s really kind of bad ass when you think about it.”

“It’s /super/ bad ass!” The green haired man’s eyes lit up. “Alphas keep underestimating them, and they just keep proving why they shouldn’t!”
“Yeah. And we keep getting lied to about it.”

“/That/ was really weird.” Midoriya shook his head. “I guess what we were hypothesizing isn’t too far-fetched, but...how do they keep covering the disappearances up?”
Shinsou shrugged. “A combination of a town that shies away from notoriety and copious amounts of money? All I know is: they must /really/ want that boy pussy.”

Midoriya rolled his eyes. “What they want are people they can control. And there are female omegas, too, you know.”
“I’m being facetious, Midoriya. You used to think it was charming. What happened to us?”

Letting out a laugh, Midoriya shook his head.
“So, have you gotten over your crush on the tribe?”

Giving Shinsou a wide grin, Midoriya looked at him. “No way. If anything, I want to know even more about them now.”

“Well, fuck me with a broom.”

...And I SWEAR, the smut is coming, lol!
Just stick with me, OK?
Let's do this.
Another two weeks had passed.

Midoriya had spent countless hours with the mayor of the town, asking as many questions as he could -- but not just about the tribe; he also wanted to know about him, as a person, as well as about the people of the town.
Even Shinsou started to get to know some of the people at city hall -- to his surprise, they liked some of his jokes.

And, just like that, the stares and whispers of the town’s residents started turning into smiles and greetings.
They weren’t just some ‘alpha creeps’ anymore; they were really starting to belong.
But, at the same time...the draw to the tribe wasn’t going away; it wasn’t even slowing down. The need to study the tribe seemed to have some sort of hold on Midoriya, like it had penetrated under his skin and pulled at him every second of the day and night.
And the strangest thing about it all was that, deep down, he couldn’t shake the feeling that, if he went, he’d be OK.

He’d be /more/ than OK.

As crazy as it seemed...he felt like being in this town and going to that tribe was his destiny.
He knew he had to go.

The hardest part of it all, though?
Breaking the news to Shinsou.
“Ohh my God...” Shinsou grabbed the bridge of his nose and let a loud breath out of his mouth. “Midoriya...we’ve been over this ten /thousand/ times: you...will...D/IE.”

Pushing his lips together and raising an eyebrow, he shook his head. “I kind of don’t care.”
After letting go of his face, Shinsou looked at him, disgusted. “/What/?”
Midoriya shrugged. “I’ve come to terms with it, Shinsou. Honestly, I feel like if I don’t take this chance, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life and feel like a zombie, anyway. I either succeed, or d/ie trying, and either of those are acceptable to me.”
“Have you, and I say this with all of the love I can possibly muster, lost your fucking /mind/?”

“Maybe I have.” Midoriya nodded. “I know that, no matter how much I’d love to be Indiana Jones, I’m not Indiana Jones. But being Izuku Midoriya? That’s good enough for me.”
Shinsou sighed. “Even if Izuku Midoriya d/ies at the end?”

Again, Midoriya nodded.
“OK.” Shinsou looked at his knees, pausing for a moment. “But /I/ don’t want Izuku Midoriya to d/ie. He’s my best friend, and...I love him.” Tightening a side of his mouth, he looked back at Midoriya.
“I’m going to try my best not to.” Midoriya gave him a solemn smile. “Not caring whether or not you d/ie isn’t the same as not caring whether or not you live.”

Crossing his arms, Shinsou leaned back onto the couch and sighed; he averted his gaze from his as he shook his head.
“Shinsou...” He sat down beside him, “did you ever come across Ernest Shackleton’s ad -- the one he placed when he was organizing an expedition to the South Pole?”

Still not looking at him, Shinsou shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“It said, ‘Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success.’”
“Boy, oh, boy; sign me up.” Shinsou rolled his eyes...then whipped his head around to look at him. “Wait, you have it /memorized/?”

Blowing some air out of his nose, Midoriya nodded. “I’ve been staring at a picture of it every night.

And the more that I think about it, the more I think I’m one of those crazy people who would’ve responded to that ad -- even when everyday life was as scary as it probably was back then.”
He looked at Shinsou. “This is one of the final frontiers, and I want to be the one to discover it.”

Shinsou’s face softened as he stared at him.

“Besides,” Midoriya smiled, “one of us has to find out whether or not your hypothesis was any good.”
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