hmmm real self hate hours

just gonna vent so
cw for body image stuff

but damn if i wasn’t self conscious and hating my body and appearance pre-pregnancy, i sure am now postpartum

i knew my body would change but accepting these changes is a lot easier said than done. i constantly look bloated, my boobs saaaag bc breastfeeding, i haven’t even bothered putting makeup on because what’s the point when you already feel your ugliness can’t be fixed or reduced

not that i even have the time or motivation to even attempt makeup, much less shower daily bc ppd.
i can’t even fit into a large majority of my clothes because of weight gain so i live in pj pants and sweats and baggy t shirts and constantly feel like a slob because of it

pregnancy made my skin look so nice but now it’s back to looking scarred and uneven and full of noticeable blackheads and breakouts. and then when i look in the mirror and just see the SHAPE of my face on top of that i feel so disgusted. i hate my underbite

and of course the only thing that can fix my underbite is surgery which opens up even more potential issues regarding healing, swelling, nerve damage, eating...... i can’t fucking win so i guess im just stuck with the ugliest face and chin for the rest of my life

anyway guess i’m done, this thread is embarrassing sorry