Aerial ✈️
🚨ANGST
🚨Theoretical? Major character death
🚨mentions of depression, regret, and denial
🚨Please QRT, do not reply
I still remember that day crystal clear. How could I forget? It’s burned in the back of my eyes; a haunting memory that will never cease to exist. I wish I could forget because it’s one of the worst days of my life but at the same time, I hope the memory never fades.
It’s the last time I ever saw your red ruby eyes that always seemed to glow. It’s the last time I saw your smile as the glass of the cockpit closed over your head and you gave me a thumbs up when my glass closed on me. I hope I never forget what you look like but I don’t think +
I can. You’re too beautiful.

I miss you so much. My therapist told me I should write down all my feelings and try to recount some of the events to put them on paper. I just nodded and shrugged because it’s not that I need to relive that day to get over it. I relive that day +
every night when I go to bed and dream. I relive every single detail of that day from the moment I wake up to the moment you say goodbye to me in my headset. How could I ever forget the day you went missing? How could I ever forget the day that I lost you? The truth is I won’t.
I refuse to believe that you’re dead so I say you went missing to feed my own probable delusions. Everyone else disagreed with me, though, that’s why they held a funeral for you in January. I think you would’ve loved it. Mina and Kaminari told me you wouldn’t want me to cry or +
be sad but it all felt too real. They refused to cry even in front of your empty casket blanketed in stars and stripes. The preacher said you died a hero and it felt like there was a huge nonverbal agreement from everyone there in the way the air changed directions.
I really tried, Kirishima, I promise I tried but, but I couldn't hold it back: I cried. I sobbed because I didn’t want to believe that you were dead. I couldn’t not mourn your death as if it were real because it was. It is.
You’re dead and I need to stop telling myself that you’re still somewhere out there. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t even change the fact that I’m so desperately in love with you even still after six months and it wouldn’t change the fact that I never grew the balls to +
actually tell you that I love you.
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