anyone else in quarantine starting to look how they looked when they were 14

smelly cat hair covered leggings, gigantic wool socks, weird long tshirt, a coat? inside? an actual windbreaker coat? with some kind of corporate logo. no makeup, scrubbed face. acne, tangled braid, stumbling around all sleepy. face in a book. sneezing. ear infection

i'm about ready to have my picture taken doing a peace sign at a trailhead on the coast and wait 2 weeks for the film to develop to throw the prints away

when i was 14 my hair was down past my hips and i had tinted it purple on accident with chemical-adulterated henna i bought from the new age bookstore. i had acne so bad it required acutane and pit stains in my beagles tshirt. SIX FEET TALL ALREADY

what a disgusting child! honestly! thank you to my mom for letting me live my truth but if i were a mom of a 14 yr old who looked that messy i would be like honeybun take a bath and let's go to the dermatologist before swim class and then maybe log onto modcloth?

wasn't an option back then tho it was ross dress for less or goodwill or nothing. once i got a tshirt from my favorite uncle for christmas that said SPAM and i wore it literally every day over full length denim skirts and tie dye stirrup tights until it came apart at the seams

do you know what my outdoor gear was? like my raincoat or my snow pants or my sturdy boots? "i bet it was columbia shit or patagonia, she's from oregon" you guess. NO SIR it was the women's XS firemen's gear from the volunteer county station with duct tape over the holes

i looked BAD. i looked a WRECK. i didn't understand what shaving was because my grandmother gave me an electric razor for my legs (?) and my mom bought me white pantyhose and blue mascara tho i have PCOS and brown eyes (?!)

the first makeup i bought myself was white clownpaint from hot topic which i supplemented with random bits of glitter blush i stole from the theatre department and sometimes due to acutane my lips would crack in the center when i smiled and blood would gush down my chin

i mentioned i was six feet tall. when was the last time you met a 14 yr old girl who was six feet tall. who didn't play sports and wanted to fucking sit in a magnolia tree smelling like unwashed period jeans and reading ursula leguin. and crying. A NIGHTMARE

oh and CRIMSON EYELINER because i thought it would be cool to look like my night of the living dead lunchbox. i also had a bondage collar with a glow in the dark rubber duckie that hung from it and i cried very very easily, probably 3 times a day. i was vegan and couldn't drive