(TW for rape, domestic abuse)
So one of the Cool Kids of RPGs streamed a game with a rape scene so horrible that the game immediately imploded and most of the players aren't coming back, and this was totally avoidable if they'd used any safety mechanics at all.

And nobody is talking about it except the odd 'so sad the show is ending' non-post, and this is baffling to me.

(No I am not interested in gossiping about the specifics, this is just the spur prompting the following thread).

Anyway, shit like this is why we use safety tools, people. Like, I am all for exploring dark and upsetting content at the game table. A lot of my work is, in its own way, about exploring my experiences with mental health.

And like, rape is such an obvious sensitive topic that it's the first thing you'd address when setting this shit up.
Here's the thing. The chances are, somebody at your table has been affected by this shit irl. I'd give it well over 50/50 odds.

So you absolutely HAVE to use safety tools, and rigorously, if you're gonna engage with it.

Here are some of my thoughts on how to do that.

(Note: I am gonna shift to domestic abuse rather than rape as the example horrible-topic here, because that's what I have directly dealt with myself, and I don't wanna step outside my lane).

Let's say I want to include abuse as a theme in a game I'm already running.
Step one is to privately survey my shortlist of potential players for any topics they don't want to come up. Now, this is one of the key steps when I set up a game, but I'm gonna repeat this to be sure.

If any player mentions domestic abuse as a no-go, I scrap the plotline.
Next up, I specifically DM my players with "I am thinking of including a domestic abuse based plotline, is this something you'd be interested to explore".
Again: if even one player says no, I bin the idea.

Step three is to DM the specific players whose characters will be affected, giving a rough outline of my ideas and asking if they're keen to get into it. If so, where are their boundaries, what would make them uncomfortable, what appeals to them.

Again, if the affected players say 'I'm not into that', the idea gets scrapped.
Note that I'm giving people three increasingly specific chances to veto me, and they can do this in total confidence before the theme gets introduced.

Now, as a group we should already have worked out where our lines and veils are, but for abuse it's best to go into it in a bit more detail.

Ask if people are OK with seeing it happen, with not being able to intervene, with dealing with the fallout. And if this stuff is OK to happen directly on-screen, if each player is OK being directly involved in those scenes, or if any element is an off-screen only matter.

So! Having done all this groundwork, we're good to go, right? Sure, but-
-first of all, I wanna make sure that every player knows they're free to safeword out of this shit, or - if its getting too much but they wanna continue - to pause things while they ground themselves.

-and second, the onus is NOT on THEM to speak up. If a player seems uncomfortable, I check in. If a player goes all quiet and withdrawn, I check in. If a player uses humour or IC disruption to deflect from the heavy theme, I fucking check in.

AND THEN. If a session is successfully run, and it goes swimmingly, I'm still gonna do aftercare/debriefing. Go to the pub, unwind, talk about the game's events and how it made us feel. Ask what players would like to explore.

And like I'd only be doing this with a group I'd got a long history with, who I had a good handle on their quirks and tastes. People who are my friends away from the table.

Like. It's thorough. It fucking has to be, because I want to be as sure as I can that I'm not gonna traumatise my players.

You can be damn fucking sure I wouldn't just spring this shit on unexpecting players (and viewers) out of nowhere.

And if I DID fuck up, or my layers of safety-tool didn't work, and I'd done this in a publically viewed game, I'd be making a proper statement where I apologize, talk about how things went wrong, & use it as a chance to start a broader conversation about safety mechanics in RPGs.

fuck, I only heard about this tangentially and I'm using it as an excuse to do a mini-essay on how I'd handle potentially triggering content, because even if the big names aren't gonna talk about this stuff, I still am.

Seriously, safety tools matter, yo.

addendum:
This applies to other sensitive topics too. Take homophobia/transphobia. Say somebody at the table is in the closet, and you spring this stuff on them in-game. I fucking guarantee, they've just put you in the 'not a safe person' box in their head, and you'll never know.