Okay! so I'm making a thread about this (first fic-thread so be kind, I'm scared)
#sheith #KeithCanSingAU (or something I donno) https://twitter.com/Nariicie/status/1245492762771931136

After the war, all the paladins get mandatory therapy because, well, they've been through a war.

Hunk's the one that recovers the easiest since he isn't scared to actually talk about his feelings and open up about how the war affected him.

Pidge & Matt – along with their dad - handle the whole things rather well too. They've been through shit but they have their family that's been through the same shit so it's easy to just be together. They all understand.

Everyone thinks Lance is fine. Even Lance. Especially since he and Allura are going steady and he's very much in love with her. He still marvels over the fact that he actually got her. That she loves him too. It's what convinces him that he's fine.

After a while though, things start to crack at the seams and he gets worse before he gets better.

It's a lot harder for Allura, Shiro, and Keith though. None of them have much of a family to back them up. Other than each other.

Allura practically gets adopted into the McClain family though and it helps a lot. Lance is always there for her and he's the one person she feels safe enough to lower her guard around. So she slowly starts getting better as well.

Shiro has a loooong way to go though.

It's not just the war. It's the time spent as The Champion, and even actually the brake up with Adam and his death that he never had closure for that drags him down. When he thinks he's making progress something else surfaces and the PTSD is real.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, /screaming/. He masks it well & most people assume he's fine. They admire his strength. The amazing Takashi Shirogane, Captain of the Atlas, former leader of Voltron. He survived a war & he's still so strong. It's easy to play the part.

What his therapist keeps telling though, is that he needs to stop playing the part he assumes everyone else wants to see and just let himself be himself. The problem is, Shiro's not really sure who he is anymore.

Too much has happened and the last time he was just /Shiro/ was at the Garrison way before the Kerberos mission. Back when he was just a young guy, together with his high school sweetheart and working towards a dream, and just hoping he'd get there before his body gave up on him.

He has no idea who he is now. Is he the Captain of the Atlas? Earth's pride and joy? Is he the former head of Voltron? And still, sort of, unofficial leader to the paladins? Or is he The Champion?

Is he just a broken man after a war he never wanted to be a part of in the first place?

All he wanted was to see space first hand before he died and oh boy did he get so much more than he bargained for.

And then there's Keith.

He doesn't talk much. To anyone. Not even his therapist. It's not the first time they sent him to a therapist and it didn't help him then, so he doubts it'll help him now. He's not stupid enough to think he's fine after all that he's been through.

But like with everything else in his life, he'll make it through. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and nothing's killed him yet. He's fine.

Except he's not. He can't sleep. He overthinks /everything/. He can't walk into a room without scouting out escape routes and take the most strategic position in the room. He needs to know where all the paladins are at all times. To make sure they're okay.

He's not making it obvious. Blames it on his status as the leader of Voltron and that's why he wants their location. He's not sure they're buying it, but at least no one's commented on it.

He spends most of his therapy sessions sitting quietly, looking out the window at the new buildings being pulled up after the war. It's a constant reminder that things will never be the same. That things have changed and that he can never go back. Not that he wants to go back.

He never had anything to go back to in the first place. The war... gave him a family. Friends and his mom. The war... made his life better.

He feels more guilty about that than he's actually traumatized by the war itself. It makes him feel like there's something wrong with him.

He wonders if it's the Garla side of him that's like that.

After spending so much time with the Blades and his mom though, he's found out that not all Garla are like the empire they fought.

The Garla actually have a rich and honorable history.

And as Zarkons rule becomes more and more just a memory, those parts of the Garlan culture are returning.

So no, Keith can't blame the fact that's he's happier than he's ever been on anything other them himself.

And it sucks. He should be sad and traumatized.

He doesn't deserve to be /happy/ of all things. Not when he sees all the other paladins struggling. Not when... Shiro's struggling.

He knows Shiro isn't sleeping, knows he wakes up from nightmares. Knows that the brave face he puts on is just that, a brave face.

Keith's seen what Shiro looks like when the mask drops. But he doesn't know how to talk to Shiro about it. He's scared he'll say the wrong things, make things worse.

He should probably talk to his therapist about that, about how to help Shiro, but then he'd have to open up about why Shiro is so important to him. More important than the other paladins.

Keith's been in love with Shiro for years, loved him even longer.

But it's always been a distant thing. A fact. He would die for Shiro. But he doesn't really know how to /live/ for him.

Now that things are calm, they have a chance at a proper life. The chain of command and the tension of the war is gone.

Now they're just people and they can be together as just /people/.

Keith knows that Shiro cares about him, a lot. But they've never actually talked about the bond they share. There's never been time. So he doesn't know if what he feels for Shiro, is how Shiro feels for him.

Now there's nothing but time. Yet Keith feels more lost in their feelings for each other than he's ever felt.

He almost /misses/ the war.

Which is sick! There's something seriously wrong with him. There has to be.

Logically he can figure out that what he's feeling is normal. Survival's guilt and all that. He can understand where the feelings are coming from, but that doesn't make him feel it any less. If anything, it just feels like an accuse.

And that's one of the problems.

He just feels /so much/, all the time. It feels like it's bubbling over and he has nowhere to put it.

In a weak moment, he says so to his therapist. She seems to consider it and ends up suggesting he write it out. But Keith's never liked writing in any form really.

So she suggests he sing. Keith's told her that while he was on the space whale, he and his mom sang together to pass the time. It was fun and it felt good. But it wasn't a big deal. Singing now, feels like it would be.

(need to sleep. will finish this tomorrow)

But with nothing better to do, he considers it.

After a lot of back and forth. A lot of doubt and hesitation, he finally decides to give it a go. It can't go any worse than bad and maybe it would actually help.

He goes to a karaoke bar one town over – because like hell he's ever letting any of the paladins know about this – and signs his name up on the waiting list to sing.

He can't remember the last time he was so nervous.

Thankfully the bar is small & there're not too many people. So maybe he can do this. He's a good singer, he knows that much at least, so he won't make an idiot of himself.

When it's his turn, he picks a song he knows well, something he likes but nothing special.

And then he sings.

It... actually feels good. He ends up singing a few more songs before heading home.

Home is at the Garrison.

They remodeled a few sections of the base into apartments for 'important people'. Meaning, all the paladins, the Garrison higher-ups, a lot of the crew of the Atlas and so on.

Lance, Hunk, and Allura are staying with family though and since all the Holts are 'important people' they all live in a bigger apartment down the hall from Keith. Almost everyone has or is looking for living spaces elsewhere though.

The only ones that aren't really looking are Keith and Shiro.

Besides Krolia, who's off-world most of the time, neither he nor Shiro really have anyone else they know or care about outside of the Garrison and none of them are in a hurry to move.

It feels good actually, to still be close to Shiro. Too see him almost every day and know he's just next door. It calms him down knowing Shiro's safe.

As time goes on, Keith makes a habit of going to the karaoke bar at least ones a week.

He's good at sneaking away – always has been – so no one even knows he's gone. Which is good because as he's gotten more confident, he's started picking songs that are a little closer to his heart. Things that help him express what he can't say.

And slowly, he starts feeling a lot better about himself and this whole thing.

It's all going great, until one night when he gets some unexpected visitors.

(I suggest listening to this while reading the rest)

He's right in the middle of 'Hold on' by Chord Overstreet when he sees Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura walk through the door.

He can't just stop singing because that will draw even more attention to him.

If he's really lucky, they'll just make their way over to the bar, have some drinks and he can finish the song without them even noticing and then just slip out.

Just as he's singing ”driving a nightmare I can't escape from”, Shiro walks into the room.

Keith stumbles on the next few words, heart pounding in his chest. He should stop singing now. He... he can't sing this with Shiro right there. Not when the song reminds him too much about how he almost lost him.

”They took you away on a table” he continues though, voice even but a lump in his throat.

”I pace back and forth as you lay still”

He should at least look away. Should look at the wall, the floor. Anywhere but at Shiro.

”I pull you in to feel your heartbeat” he continues and as he sings heartbeat Shiro turns his way and their eyes lock.

Keith's heart stops.

”Can you hear me screaming please don't leave me” he sings, voice cracking and before he knows it, his eyes are glossy

”Hold on, I still want you” he sings but he's not singing lyrics anymore. He's talking to Shiro, telling him what he's always wanted to tell him.

There's a pause in the lyrics and Keith takes a deep, shaky breath before swallowing around the lump in his throat.

Shiro's still looking at him, frozen in place.

”Come back, I still need you”

There's the tiniest smile on Shiro's lips, it's sad, longing maybe, /understanding/. They've both faced death, but they're both still here. And Keith needs Shiro to know how he feels.

”Let me take your hand” Keith sings, meeting Shiro's smile ”I'll make it right”

”I swear to love you all my life” Keith sings and he's confessing right here, right now.

The other paladins have seen Keith by now. They've also seen Shiro stop and stare. And they watch as Shiro slowly starts making his way to the small little stage where Keith's is sitting on a barstool, mic in hand.

”I don't wanna let go” Keith sings, barely aware of anything else in the room besides Shiro walking towards him

”I know I'm not that strong” he holds Shiro's gaze as he comes closer

”I just wanna hear you” Keith sings, smiling almost shyly as he looks down at Shiro right below the stage ”saying baby lets go home”

”Let's go home” he follows the lyrics, but really he's just begging Shiro to be his.

”I just wanna take you home” he sings and then the lyrics pause again.

It feels like the slow beat of the music goes on forever. Keith can't look away from Shiro. And Shiro can't look away from him. In that moment, it's just them. Nothing else matters.

”Hold on, I still want you” he sings slowly. He can see Shiro's eyes flicker down to his mouth as he says the words before finding his eyes again. It makes Keith's smile grow, he's almost grinning. So is Shiro, but he also looks awed.

Keith can feel his heart beating as the music slows down towards the end of the song. Every moment dragged out.

”Come back, I still need you” he sings the final phrase of the song and the world goes quiet. Everyone in the room is perfectly still, just waiting.

"Hey" Shiro says with a soft smile after the music is completely gone.

"Hey" Keith answers, smiling back.

"I um... didn't know you could sing," Shiro says and takes one step up on the stage.

Keith feels somehow that Shiro's standing a lot closer to him than he actually is. "That was kinda the point" 

"Why?" Shiro asks, taking another step closer "Keith, your voice, it's..." He says and after one more step, he's a hair's breadth away from Keith. "It's beautiful."

Keith feels his breath catch at the way Shiro says it, at the way he's looking at him. They're so close.

Shiro's eyes flicker away, then back to him. He's hesitating about something but before Keith can figure out what, Shiro's raised his hand and placed it on Keith's cheek.

Keith melts into the touch and closes his eyes. He can feel Shiro's face right in front of his own without having to see it. A moment later Shiro's resting his forehead against Keith's and says;

"Baby, let's go home"

THE END~~

So, that's it!! sorry for not posting it all in one go, things got in the way -pout- and yah well... this was my first fic thread ^^''' thank you for reading!!