Very predictable happy ending because this was legitimately making people feel bad and I was feeling guilty.
Everything is okay
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π" title="Ok hand" aria-label="Emoji: Ok hand">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π" title="Blue heart" aria-label="Emoji: Blue heart">
Everything is okay