I know it's stupid, I know it's provincial, I know it's a charger fault, but I do take small measure of pride in the fact that @neilhimself and @amandapalmer looked at US, UK, Australia, and NZ as places to ride out the coronapocalypse, and decided in favour of my boring country.

Like, NZ has none of the attractions of the other countries. I mean, no NZ city's arts scene is like Melbourne's. We don't have anyone's family. NZ drips with neither past glories of Empire nor the dulled armor of recently-past hegemony. No Vikings stud (heh) our past.

Our biggest sport doesn't interest them. They weren't swayed by a long-standing engagement with our musicians, or authors, or historic battles. They haven't built a prepper bunker in Queenstown and filled it with guns, caviar, and avgas.

We don't shine in the same places as other countries, but we aren't rusted where it matters.

And I think that's what I like the most about my little-bit-shit country. We can't dance like America, quote Greek like UK, or wrestle crocodiles like Australia. But we are sane.

Also, we have pies (always blow on them). And the call of Tui. And Kim Hill on Saturday mornings. And the sniff greeting. And that GIF of our national animal bouncing around like a four year old who's just drunk an espresso shot.

And have you ever seen a Silver Ferns game? Holy shit! What a sport! They're like brutal goddesses! And did I mention the pies? Because even a BP steak bacon and cheese pie tastes better than those soggy pepper sacks of lips, snouts, and udders other countries call "pies".

And Jesus Christ, what about Jacinda? *She's* a fucken goddess too! Every morning with the makeup and lippy and scrunch the hair back, direct the nation's response, calm and centred in a maelstrom of anxiety and action, ...

Next, a quick flat white before stepping out to tell us to wash hands and for fuck's sake stay inside honestly it's like talking to a toddler, then back to running the country before a weary FB Live to answer our questions and put us to bed before putting an actual toddler to bed

I mean shit, you add the Alps, the Fjords, our fucken weird sense of humour (Flight of the Conchords, most things @TaikaWaititi has made), the way we wave and say "thanks!" to stop-go people at road works, Haddad's in Ōtorohonga, @giapos,

[...] sitting on an East Coast beach or surfing off a West Coast one, legal personal distilling, the gentle tide of civil rights legislation rolling across our statute book, and have you even seen the sunset from a maunga? If you haven't, get on that shit right now.

Climb a maunga about 40m before sunset, bring some fish and chips, take your rubbish with you, and as the sky burns then fades, and the stars come out, exhale. It's going to be ok. You're here. We're here. We all got this. That sun will come up tomorrow. Everything will be ok.

(Fin)