Been staying with my parents since lockdown started. Longest I’ve been at home since I was 18. Sat through many episodes of cookery shows and antiques related repairs.

Now I’m making them watch Tattoo Fixers.

My dad: “Beggars bloody belief!”

“Idiot becomes superior idiot”

“Stick a plaster over it! Go to Marks and Spencer’s and buy some longer trousers!”

I argued that ‘Repair Shop’ is just a middle class version of Tattoo Fixers. This was not well received.

“I don’t see why their tattoos are any better. They’re just bigger.”

“If it was on a China plate or something... I wouldn’t buy it.”

I’ve never seen him so angry at a TV show. But he is engrossed.

“I think they should just say, no, it was your choice, you deserve to live with it”

Overall verdict. “I enjoyed it.... I’m just gobsmacked... that these people... I can’t...”