@FrankBruni 's newletter "We're not wired to be this alone" today is good, thoughtful, and worth reading. It's also wrong in a key respects, though ones that are easily forgivable. 1/x

First, he falls into the trap we all do of projecting our own individual and social circumstances on to others. "We're not wired to be this alone," assumes that we are as alone as he (or his reference set) is. We are not all that alone, some less so, some more so. 2/x

This is very common and you can observe this in any number of tweets or Facebook posts where we express our circumstances in universal language. As in "We should all..." or any other sentiment that expresses how our emotional reaction is or should be everybody else's. 3/x

And speaking of things we're wired for, this is something we're wired for! Affiliating with people based on their shared emotional reactions and circumstances is one of the ways we test our bonds, strengthen each other, and otherwise build viable communities. All good. 4/x

But the second way this piece misses something important is more intriguing to me -- and maybe just me, I won't assume you all have or should have this reaction ;). It's that we are not all wired for the same thing. Count me as one of many who employ language like 5/x

"We are wired for x," often, even though we know it's not true. Here's the crux of it: We are a single species, but we are infinitely variable. Not just on any trait, but in the combination of traits, wirings, learnings, and tendencies that each of us inherits or accumulates. 6/x

So "you" might not be wired to be this alone. But, alas, someone else *might* be. Bruni appropriately talks about how people want to be back in the office full of people. Many people do. But in my research, 52% of people who can, prefer to work at home. 7/x

And only 41% of people who can work from home are eager to get back to work in an office. Of course, give it time, some people will come back around after an extended period. At the same time, others will settle in and realize they don't need no stinkin' office. 8/x

The sum is this: Humans are delightfully varied (and frustratingly so, at times). We tend to surround ourselves with shared characteristics which makes it easy to say "We should," and "Everybody agrees," and "We all feel," but in reality, we don't *all* anything. 9/x

My plea is that we don't try to force everybody into processing the current situation in the same way. We can stop pretending that a study about loneliness in old people in a nursing home is relevant to what all of us are doing today. Are there lessons to explore? sure! 10/x

Do people need people? Yes! But in varying ways and to varying degrees. And it's okay if some people rejoice in not having to be in the office right now. We don't have to imagine that there is a single emotional or social outcome to all this. Let human diversity do its thing 11/x

Then, much later, we can explore why you felt one way, I felt another, and still others in other ways. The lessons we can learn then will be fascinating, as long as we continue to give people the flexibility to have experienced it differently than we did or wanted them to. 12/12