Thread by @alexeble, A thread on some personal stuff. tl;dr version

A thread on some personal stuff.

tl;dr version - this covid thing sucks and I am scared s***less for my most important person.

Here goes:

Some of you know that my most important person, @got_rheum, is a doctor and works in a speciality. Because she is a glutton for punishment, she is also certified (and recently re-certified) in internal medicine.

Usually she sees patients 8-5, does research nights and weekends, and slings snark 24/7. You know, the usual.

A week or two ago (so, like 20 lived years) her employer asked for people to help out at their hospital, as it is taking overflow of non-covid patients who normally would have gone to the nearby hospital (that hospital is now all covid)

Turns out there are a lot of sick people here in New York City!

Naturally, her hand shot up.

I got a little worried, maybe let out a distress bleat, but it seemed unreal / far away.

Then the call came.

Starting Sunday, she’s going to be in the hospital, 12 hours a day, 3 days on, 3 days off. She is going to see a lot of sick people.

I’m super proud of her. I’m also super happy for society. She’s an awesome doctor and is going to do much good.

But

...and this is the main point of the thread...

I am also f***ing terrified.

She is going to be in the line of fire. While she’s not on covid duty specifically, she is going to see a lot of people, many of whom probably have it. This puts her at a serious risk

My 4am panic brain: maybe more risk because they won& #39;t immediately know which patients have it

It is very brave and selfless of her. It is good for humanity.

But it sucks for me. I am so scared my most important one might get sick or worse.

I have been dealing with this as you might expect - ugly crying at my home desk (sorry @SarahCohodes, my next door neighbor across a thin wall), putting a powerful hurt on my whiskey collection, and desperately searching the internet for solace (not much to be found, turns out)

Yesterday I had a text exchange with a friend who is having a different, much harder time with everything. I told him about this, and he had the most amazing thing to say, that I want to share here:

Me: [explains situation]

… I am freaking the f*** out.

Him: Rightfully so.

I would be as well…

Him: You are lucky though.

@got_rheum is smart, trained, and knows what she is doing.

It’s like the NBA finals:

you’re the water boy for the Bulls.

@got_rheum is MJ.

Him: Yeah sure - you got court side seats to a big game you cannot control from the floor. This would make anyone scared, nervous, afraid…

but you also have the best player on your team.

Him: We& #39;ve all got our roles…

Focus on your role and I promise you won’t be freaked out.

Him: You’re lucky as well because you are an experienced and awesome water boy

…you’ll keep her well-rested and hydrated between shifts. that’s all you need to worry about.

You got this because you’ve got the best all around players and support staff on your team.

Him: My role is fat guy on the coach watching the game from a distance cheering both you on.

Just remember to breathe.”

After a lot more ugly crying, I felt better.

I’ve got your water, @got_rheum. Go get ‘em.

Post-script: this thing hitting so close to home made much clearer to me the *immediate* human cost of all this.

Maybe it’s your partner. Maybe it’s your parents. Maybe it’s your siblings. Maybe it’s your neighbor. Maybe it& #39;s...who knows.

Every last one of us on the planet knows someone who is at risk.

Statistically, most of us will be ok. In some months, we should be over the worst of it.

In the meantime, though, it sucks so, so hard.

So, my ask: especially now, please be gentle and generous with everyone.

We can& #39;t see most hurt, but each human has some, and we& #39;re all just muddling along as best we can.

Latest Threads Unrolled: