just got off the phone w my dad who lives in china. every time he calls me, he asks me why americans are so anti-mask when Asians swear by them (by this I mean Asians in Asia). the mask thing pisses me off for so many reasons. 1/

full disclosure: 2 weeks ago I had a really stressful decision abt whether or not to publish a really well researched article that suggested, based on studies of SARS and swine flu, that masks are beneficial. I hadn't seen that kind of evidence based reportage anywhere 2/

I was excited by it, as was the editor who brought it to me. but another editor rightly pointed out that by publishing the piece we would be running contrary to CDC recommendations at the time. I agonized over my responsibility as a journalist at the time 3/

I believe in the media making available info to the general public, particularly when it's not info I've seen elsewhere. but I also take that responsibility seriously and did not want to do anything to encourage panic or hoarding during a shortage 4/

in the end, I killed the piece, also reasoning that hyphen's coverage is less abt health advice and more about how this stuff uniquely impacts our communities. I can't say I regret this decision but I still feel upset about it. 5/

part of the reason I wanted to publish the piece was bc I was SO SO ANGRY at the way ppl shamed Asians who were wearing masks, bc they do so out of habit and recommendation from Asian relatives and the countries they're from. 6/

I was so angry at the way this was used as a way to further anti-asian racism. I was so angry at how ppl assumed when you wore a mask it meant you were either sick or selfish. I was so angry that ppl used the mask thing to feel like they were BETTER than those who wore them 7/

in Asia, ppl wear masks REGULARLY bc it's a considerate thing to do. the reasoning esp during cold season, is that you don't know if you might be sick so if you cough or sneeze, you don't subject others around you to germs 8/

it seems to me that this is even MORE important for C19 given the long incubation period where folks walk around feeling fine but already carriers. it seems that a simple thing such as wearing masks would be a first barriwr of defense. 9/

that being said I get why the CDC was recommending against masks: bc some ppl in the US are fucking selfish and hoard things. and yes, we absolutely need to think about our medical workers first. but I wish the CDC hadn't gone around saying it didn't work 10/

it made everyone in Asia seem even more foreign and more to blame. it was so easy to shift blame onto inscrutable Asians with their foreign diseases and their faces covered who now are not only all those things but also SELFISH AND STUPID BC DONT YOU KNOW WHAT THE CDC SAID? 11/

(I also don't believe for a minute that the majority of mask hoarders were Asian Americans. the folks who wear masks on a regularly basis probably had them lying around at all times like you do Kleenex or toilet paper or floss.) 12/

part of the problem w the mask shortage is, of course, the fact that we don't produce the majority of the masks. they mostly come from China. back in Jan when I realized there weren't enough masks in Taiwan (before they started hyperproducing them to provide for the whole country

) I tried to get US friends to send me a few. but they were sold out already. so I knew that the supply lines had been diminished. the US maybe could have done something then domestically, but they didn't. prob bc they didn't expect it would happen on their shores? 14/

now I hear China is trying to donate masks to the US and trump and co are like, nah, bc after all that "Chinese virus" talk, they prob don't want to accept donations from their scapegoat. I have no evidence back this except hearsay, so don't quote me. I'm just guessing. 15/

the point is I get that we were trying not to fuel hoarding but also, instead of saying it doesn't work, why not figure out a way to have more available so ppl stop spreading droplets? instead of giving ppl fodder to villainize ppl who wear them? 16/

note, I am still giving mask hoarders major side eye. I get the impulse tho. Taiwan fixed that by rationing them to each citizen tied to their national healthcare system. we can't do that here, but maybe there's some other way to distribute? 17/

anyway so now we are slowly coming around to the idea of masks. and it just makes me so mad bc so many ppl were shaming Asians for so long for this when in reality I do believe it does mitigate things. wearing masks isn't about protecting YOU, it's about protecting others. 18/

I don't know why this topic riles me up so much. I think bc it's like the epitome of this whole thing boiled into one. the mismanagement of those in charge, the selfishness of ppl, and the racism against ppl in my community. 19/

I personally believe facemasks work. at the time of my decision I believed I should not do something that could further incite shortages and panic and I still believe that. but it also made me angry to have to stay silent on something I believed to work bc I feared that. 20/

maybe what I'm also angry about is my own helplessness and having to choose out of two bad choices which were also two right choices bc we lack the nuance and consideration to react well. at the end of the day, I didn't trust ppl not to misread our piece's intention 21/

and bc of that, I wonder if I failed to protect ppl, and more importantly, my community, by arming them w all the information I had. but is that my job? isn't that our leaders' jobs? I don't know. I'm tired. /end

oh one last thing: Americans have gotta stop thinking that Asian countries can't POSSIBLY know what they're doing when it comes to science and medicine. they lived thru SARS yo. we gotta get over our american exceptionalism bullshit bc this is why we were completely unprepared.