Our preferences can be problematic. We are socialised in a cisheteronormative world which reinforces eurocentric white beauty ideals and sexualises girls from a young age. Our own preferences and attitudes should be consistently interrogated and unpacked.

Your preferences can be racist, misogynist, fatphobic, transphobic, ableist. The intention does not have to be there for it to exist and need reflection. It also needs to be said that the opposite of dislike or non-preference is not fetishisation.

We live in a society for which these deliberately socialised attitudes lead to deeply problematic and harmful responses. Oppression is structural and systematic but we can help to reinforce it through our own behaviours and internalisation. Including in our dating lives.