**SPANISH GENITAL THREAD STARTS HERE**

As promised, my thread on the strange things Spaniards do with their genitals (linguistically)

The other day, I came across the following phrase:

"Y encima tú, con todo tu coño..."

[lit. = And, what's more, you, with your whole cunt...]

Here's the whole sentence for context:

"Y encima tú, con todo tu coño, no contenta con quedar con un desconocido del que sólo sabes que es un rarito que te cagas, vas y le cuentas el plan."

= And, what's more, you, with your whole cunt, not content to meet a stranger about whom the only thing you know is he's as weird as hell, you go and tell him the plan

So, the speaker is expressing frustration with her friend's naivete:

"And there you are, Jesus Christ! You meet up with some total stranger – the only thing you know about him for sure is that he’s as weird as hell – and you go and tell him the whole plan."

So "coño" (=cunt) in that phrase is used to emphasize the friend's naivete.

The general idea is one of inertia, of insisting on being one's predictable frustrating self, regardless.

If the object of your frustration is male, you can replace coño with huevos (balls)

It's probably worth noting at this stage that coño is actually a fairly mild expletive and can be uttered, for example, to express frustration and is similar to "shit!" or even to "damn!"

Your teenage son has gone out (pre-lockdown) failing to take keys, despite constant reminders. He turns up at 3 in the morning and you get out of bed to let him in. As you open the door, you greet him with a resigned:

¡con tus huevos!

=with your balls

=bloody hell!

Or your mother can't remember where she parked the car and you spend half an hour searching for it. As you recount events to a friend you might say:

mi madre, con el coño

=my mother, with her cunt

=my mum, she's so absent-minded

So, there is an element of (more or less) indulgent frustration that comes from the fact that the huevos/coño here represent an essential feature of the person's character. It may annoy us but it is part of who they are

And, talking of frustration

estar hasta los huevos/el coño de algo/alguien

=to be up to one's balls/cunt with something/someone

=to be completely fed up with something/someone

Or:

deja de tocarme los huevos/el coño

=stop touching my balls/cunt

=stop annoying me

Genitals don't have to be frustrating. They can be celebratory or affirmatory too. E.g., if someone does something good, asserts themself, takes a big risk etc., you could say:

"¡Olé tus huevos/cojones!"

Or if speaking to a woman:

"¡Olé tu coño!"

=Well done!/Go for it!

My favourite instance of this was when a friend of mine was teaching a flamenco workshop in Edinburgh. At one point, she was demonstrating an arm movement

To explain to the students the spirit in which she wanted them to perform the movement, she said (in a strong Spanish accent):

"Like this. For you, for your cunt!"

(así, pa' ti, pa' tu coño)

Genitals can also be used as a form of address. I live in Cadiz, and it's fairly standard to address men or boys as "pisha" (=cock)

It's roughly equivalent to "mate", e.g.:

"Qué de tiempo, pisha"

=I haven't seen you for ages, mate

"chocho" (=cunt) can also be used as a term of address for women, although I think it's slightly less neutral, and seems to be used when there's some impatience, teasing or whatever.

"venga, chocho, que nos vamos"

=come on, cunt, we're leaving

=hurry up, we're leaving

For neutral or affectionate use of "chocho", it's safer to add a dimunitive:

Hola, chochete

=hello, little cunt

=hi

Sticking in Cadiz for a moment, a variant of this is to affectionately address* a small boy as "pishita de plata" and a small girl as "chochete de oro"

Lit ="silver cock/golden cunt"

*Not a casual greeting between strangers, even in Cadiz, it must be said

I also have a fondness for a couple of allusive phrases.

"Me la suda"

Pragmatically, I'd generally translate this as:

"I don't give a damn"

But the "la" in that phrase actually refers to "la polla" (cock)

So, lit= "S/he makes my cock sweat"

And finally:

"Te la van a meter doblado"