My re-read of the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini - a thread

Let me begin by saying that at no point has Saphira ever given a single fuck, & I don't think she ever will. (but painting her dragon claws.)

I last read these books when I was 16 or 17 and I did NOT realize at the time how much of a drama queen Eragon was. I remembered that he has no chill (and not many brain cells) but holyyyyyyy -

I've already read a couple hundred pages into book 1 before this the idea to make a thread, but let me just say that Jeod's wife Helen was okay for wanting security & fine things for her & her children. Was a rebellion the time to worry about that though? Probably not.

Eragon's go to lie is "oh well I heard someone mention this very obsure magical thing no one knows about" and it's just as bad as Joey Tribbiani lying about raccoons jumping into houses. Brom should be even more exhausted than he is already.

Gotta say it: Angela the herbalist annoyed the shit out of me. I'm hoping I was wrong & just being a judgy teen...but her vibe is very "being purposefully, rudely weird is my only personality trait which use to inconvenience someone just to make them think I'm interesting."

Brom's interactions with Saphira are so wholesome. He respects her like she deserves.

"Well enough to miss her when she was gone" always hurt my heart, especially when I found out in later books what it cost Brom to lie to Eragon about his mother.

"for the first time Eragon realized how ignorant he had been." Not the last time, buddy. Not the last.

Yeet the Urgals challenge circa `03

Eragon wanting to search every dungeon in the country to find the beautiful woman of his dreams is prime evidence for the horny police to make their arrest.

Brom and Eragon drinking together at the *sigh* Golden Globe *eye roll* is father son goals. (Dumbass tavern name aside.)

It's still so funny to me that all this time the Varden is probably like "plese. Bring us the savior boy. We've been embroiled in this conflict for decades." Meanwhile Brom is chilling on this road/hunting trip with his long lost son.

Brom.

Eragon, resident damsel in distress, has been knocked unconscious for the twentieth time.

A bit problematic to describe Arya's features as exotic???

For the most part, Eragon is a sweet boy who thanks Saphira whenever she helps him. (and introduces Arya to everyone as the woman of his dreams, but that's neither here nor there.)

Murtagh finally got tired of Eragon's damsel act, but who can really blame him?

A capture of Saphira keeping Eragon & Murtagh from killing each other:

Eragon arguing about the morality of killing the slaver who tried to capture & SELL their group - including his dream girl Arya - with Murtagh:

Saphira, considering eating the slaver's decapitated head, as a treat:

Later, when Eragon is pouting about the MURDER -
Saphira (who recently considered eating the slaver's corpse & is a dragon) : you know that guy buys and sells people right? Murtagh just took out the trash.

All right I'm back with taco dip to contiue a (spoilery) read through of the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. I'm about 3/4s through Eragon, the first book. Let's see if Eragon is back on his bs after lamenting the death of a random slaver.

SERIOUSLY, he's going to let this get between him and his bromance with Murtagh? "I like him, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing." DUDE. He killed the slaver to protect ALL OF YOU. Ridiculous. But I'll move on from this point now.

Time to randomly fly up to an unbreathable altitude just because the harrowing journey to the Varden wasn't interesting enough.

Gotta stop the pursuing urgals with a huge band of manufacturered mist even though only a few chapters ago we discussed that magic was too weak to control the weather, especially from a distance.

"atonement for torkenbrand (the slaver's) death" BOY YOU STUPID. Murtagh is right to secretly hate you. Also, why would you put that life on par with Arya's??? I thought she was your mystical dream girl???

I'm gonna say it: I love this series, but it's the reason I don't name my chapters or bother creating any words in magical languages. It's someone else's business if they want to do that, but in my personal opinion it's so cringe.

Not Murtagh saying that he supports the Empire, just not Galbatorix

Paolini has made me nervous by describing giant icicles hanging from the peak of the mountain: that would be a helluva thing if one of them wiggled free and killed someone.

Saphira showing of for a crowd for the first time: iconic.

All this time I've been picturing the star sapphire rose as a gorgeous pale blue when it's actually read. I too am like Eragon: I never pay any fucking attention.

A dwarf rider would have been so cool. What a missed opportunity.

It's painfully obvious from the very beginning of their arrival in Tronjheim that the bald twins are traitors. Eragon of course would not have realized, but Ajihad? Literally anyone else? Some missing brain cells need to be rediscovered.

I know he meant well by blessing the infant child someone in Farthen Dur brought to him, but it's one of the most fucked up things in the books. I didn't recall exactly how much Eragon screwed things up with magic cast in ignorance until now.

Oh goodie, Angela's here too.

Oh yes, its soooo funny how tragic Brom's life really was. Super great of you to roast him for a fate he couldn't control. This bitch.

"in retrospect it was in bad taste" you think????????????

Her next speech: "I dislike everyone here & think I'm vastly superior to them because I don't take things (the threat from the empire) seriously or worry about anyone else but myself." then she says "they'll all probably die tragic deaths anyway" gods I hate this bitch

Solembum, sweetie, you're too good for her. Should've left her dusty ass back in Teirm.

Eragon defending Murtagh: "he's been a steadfast friend and an unwavering ally."

Eragon to Eragon: but he killed a filthy slaver in cold blood to protect me can I forgive him?

Forgot to attach the dark kermit pic that was supposed to go with the last tweet rip

Angela: "you don't want to see me irritated!"

Bitch I don't want to see you AT ALL.

Snitch on Angela's hiding place so everyone can annoy her as much as she annoys me challenge 2020

I always thought Hrothgar was the coolest dwarf. It helps now to picture Orik as Thorin and Hrothgar as Dwalin.

All right, back again. Let's go.

The twins threatening Eragon to try to make him join their mage group should've been another blatant signal towards their evilness...but nope, no one gives a shit.

Random guy training with a pitchfork in the midst of everyone else training with regular weapons is a balls to the wall mad lad and I would like to meet him.

"poor raiment for one so fair..." looks like we'll need to call the horny police again. Will Eragon keep his cool this time??

"but I lost to the pretty girl" said the poor human teen boy after flawlessly battling a centuries old, battle taught elf woman. *eye roll*

This after him thinking "I'll soften my blows so I don't hurt her."

Saphira getting jealous over Eragon's attraction to Arya's beauty makes the interesting point that some aspects of the dragon and rider relationship won't ever be properly explained.

Arya describing Faolin's death without any embellishment or revelations over what they were to each other breaks my heart.

Man, Murtagh can't fucking BREATHE without Eragon worrying about how to control him. He mentions a simple little crush on Nasuada and Eragon feels "a sense of foreboding." Gross.

O to be an eccentric dwarf living in an abandoned tunnel of the Beor mountains to avoid contact with everyone

I understand building camaraderie before a big battle, but the idea of all those unwashed men and dwarves passing around a community wineskin filled with their germs is not a good one.

Oh NOW you're happy Murtagh is a merciless fighter.

Eragon: Arya, you can't fight, you're a female!

Arya: boi if you don't shutcho ass up right now-

Eragon: okay, but stay safe for my happiness

Arya: ...now I don't want to...

Enjoying this cool battle scene and Hrothgar's heroics when suddenly...Angela. Who for some reason is alive.

In the below image I am Sarge, and Angela is Grif.

The slide next to the endless staircase taking TEN MINUTES to get the bottom is fucking hilarious.

*elevator music plays as Eragon slides down the chute; in the distance, battle sounds are audible*

Durza arrives 15 minutes late with Starbucks

"you'll never take me alive!1!! 1!!" Eragon the drama queen.

Since Eragon of course needs to be rescued, I'd like to see some spectacular art of the scene where Arya smashes through the ceiling of the star sapphire riding Saphira, who is breathing fire for the first time.

Imagine waking up from an agonizing, near death experience and the first face you see is ANGELA'S.

"so...where were the twins when we needed them?"
"oh, you know...they gave us a weak and completely unprovable excuse and that's good enough for all of us supposedly wise authority figures!"

So that's the end of book 1. In honor of completing it, here is a reminder of how dreadful the graphics were for the Eragon Nintendo DS game I was obsessed with for the 2 weeks it took me to finish it.

DID Y'ALL THINK I WAS DONE FOR THE NIGHT???
Fools. We're jumping right into Eldest.

A lot to unpack here:

A TWIN disaster, you say? What a... surprise...

Look at that first line. Fucking BEHOLD it in all its terribleness.

Me reading that line:

Also Eragon going through life:

Man is the overall treatment of the Urgals horrible in the hindsight brought later in the story.

A gross bloody tooth scooped up from the wreckage of battle is the new fidget spinner, I guess.

Its interesting that the book starts with such a climatic scene as Ajihad's murder, the twins not suspicious at all disappearance, and Murtagh's abduction. I remember appreciating the shock of it the first time I read Eldest.

"at times Eragon had wished Murtagh gone" yeah because you're an IDIOT

Gotta throw in that sideways dig at women who wear makeup

Sabrae the council member saying that the twins were slime and not permitted on the council should NOT have been the first time someone said something about those creeps.

LOVE to see when people forget Saphira is smart; they made Eragon promise not to blab about their meeting, but totally ignored her.

Why would a simple smile make the dagger partially concealed between Elessari's breasts - which, also odd - jiggle?
Ladies, do YOUR breasts wiggle for joy whenever you smile? Maybe I'm female-ing wrong.

Not Eragon awkwardly pulling out a chair for Arya to sit in because he still doesn't get that fake chivalry isn't the way to get through to her. Especially when he wouldn't do the same for any other woman he knew.

Nasuada being totally unconcerned about the machinations of the council: a queen

So, Arya is at least ninety, probably more, and looks 20. Eragon JUST turned 16 and though he's ripped and stuff looks it. And he is still offended later when she's not interested in him?? Ugh.

Picturing rebel Arya running away from her home and her princess life in Ellesmera to fight Galbatorix, and her meeting and falling in love with Faolin, and then losing him, makes her a much more interesting character than the dream girl Eragon sees her as.

And now, Roran.
Everything I remember about his dad Garrow is negative: he knew how to read but didn't teach his kids because he wanted them to stay ignorant peasant farmers, he had 0 sense of humor, and overall a wet blanket over anything that could make life joyful.

It's so jarring to have progressed a whole book and beyond into one story from the perspective of one character, then be cast backwards to where it began to another character that doesn't know shit.

"it was impossible for roran to wed Katrina without her father's consent" makes me ill. "oh, you'll start a blood feud! The village will hate you for defying tradition!" I guess I wasn't aware the whole village was going to be in bed with us or taking part in our marriage.

If everyone except two or three people have brown hair in your tiny alabamian village, maybe you shouldn't be listening to the village when people there tell you who you should or shouldn't marry

Sexism aside, I kind of get why Katrina was so anxious for Roran to ask her father for her hand. But to threaten to choose someone else if he doesn't ask the next day when he still has nothing to his name is a lil hysterical. Roran lost his entire family & home only 5 months ago.

Roran's friend Baldor is like "just tell Sloan no one will want Katrina if she's angry about her arranged marriage or willing to participate in cuckolding her husband." 0 chill Baldor.

Horst singing as he smiths is such a wholesome image.

Saphira getting mead drunk and trying to imitate a bow

The dwarves gave Eragon the equivalent of a polyester hero costume from a halloween store for Ajihad's funeral. The description for this garish outfit is atrocious.

Ah, Trianna. Unsubtle and willing to seduce Eragon for power, but still more suitable for him than Arya.

Still not a fan of Saphira chasing Trianna away because she was jealous, yet ignoring every other stupid thing Eragon does.

Eragon @ Saphira:

If only Angela would eat one of the deadly mushrooms she took the time to describe

"everyone is doomed tee-hee doesn't matter as long as I get attention" angela
But are YOU doomed? If only.

I love that Eragon and Saphira are tied to everyone: clan members with the dwarves, trained by the elves, fealty sworn to Nasuada.

Can't believe they saddled this poor teen from Carvahall with the name NOLFAVRELL.

The villagers on their way to evict the ra'azac and their soldiers:

I LOVE feast descriptions. They make me hungry, but I always end up searching for similar recipes.

Leave it to angela to trick a priest out if his signature weapon just because

Also a fan of the dwarf deities lore.

What's up, I'm back with a beer and ready to read more of Eldest, book 2 of the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini.

Time to pester Arya with random requests or questions since there's nothing else to do on this river barge.

The dwarves are so metal the bold ones get brass knuckles surgically drilled into their knuckles. Still doesn't seem worth it.

And Eragon is of course like SOUNDS COOL BRO and Orik has to talk him out of it.

Eragon: *experiences sudden bouts of debilitating pain from the scar on his back*

Saphira: "life is pain and pleasure, so the price for your enjoyment is pain. Is it too high?"

What a stupid thing to say.

Come to think of it, Saphira should have just chosen to hatch for Arya in the fifteen years Arya carrier her egg back and forth between all the factions.

Yeah the urgal horn bow scene was NOT planned with the rest of the books in mind and should've been cut altogether.

Arya taking Eragon aside to teach him basic elven courtesy so he doesn't embarrass her

There we go describing the elves' asian features as exotic again

I'm sorry but villagers who watched Roran grow up probably wouldn't consent to a fanciful nickname like "stronghammer."

Okay so I'm going to try to read and tweet more Eldest (book 2 of the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini) now since me & my husband just snuck out to our neighbor's dying bonfire to toast marshmallows.

The group travelling to Ellesmera (capital of the elves) stumbled upon a fey forest fertility rite. Eragon & his dwarf friend Orik almost ran off into the woods to hoot alongside the animals. I'm just grateful Eragon didn't try to make a pass at Arya this time poor fool

Aaand Saphira has a dragon's sexual awakening, basically. Too bad that for now she has no male dragon to be her mate.

Kiiinda bugs me how elves are referenced as "the fair folk" and linked to faery elements/aesthetics. It's only personal preference, but I see elves as distinct and faeries as distinct. Not sure why they're blended here, since it kind of makes them overpowered.

Arya reuniting with her mother the queen after SEVENTY years of no contact seems a little too easy

Roran spent an evening spitting truth to the villagers now he's come around to caring about resisting Galbatorix (since the ra'azac took Katrina) so just as Eragon's road trip ended, theirs is about to begin.

Time for Eragon to fixate weirdly on how naked Oromis is basically hairless

Super cool that Nasuada intends to low key oppress and wipe out magic users in the kingdom when they defeat Galbatorix. That...that's just a great plan.

However, Nasuada doesn't like Angela, so she's smarter than her future plans at least. Anyone who doesn't like Angela is better off.

ANSWER HER QUESTIONS NORMALLY, YOU FREAKING SIMPLETON - me @ angela

Day 2 of rider lessons and both Oromis and Glaedr are soooo tired of Eragon and Saphira. Poor guys

Eragon got ballsy and complimented Arya's beauty based on a flower she showed him, so she IMMEDIATELY informs him that Faolin made her that flower. :')

Bro I've always been sensitive to secondhand embarrassment; it was worse when I was younger. I do NOT understand how I survived these scenes once, let alone the amount of times I re-read this book.
Also, Eragon does nottt take rejection well. He gets sulky.

Drunk Orik is the best Orik.

"Eragon had never stopped to wonder about Orik's personal life" really says it all.

Vanir the elf in Eragon's class is a lip bitch and that's that. Saphira let him know what's up.

So Eragon created a magic portrait of Arya (during a lesson she and Orik were visiting) that unintentionally held all his feelings for her in...and she threw it to the ground to shatter it. Ouch.

Arya @ Eragon:

He's not handling this well at all, but I DO feel bad for him. Worse for her, but Eragon genuinely means no harm and wouldn't sacrifice his duty for her. He's just clueless

Arya with the romantic portrait of herself made by dumbass Eragon:

Oromis aggressively trying to make Eragon not a racist by slipping scrolls of Urgal lore into his required reading pile:

I know this might be poor phrasing, by the elves aren't monogamous at all. Which is fine...but they revere children so much in their culture. Having a child with someone is an ultimate vow of love, it's said. Yet couples can't stand each other for at least 9 months???

Like...girl. Get a baby daddy to take care of you while you're pregnant if you want a baby so bad then kick him to the curb. You're an independent elf woman and your culture allows this since you're not at all human. Have those babies you want

There are wanted posters up over all the cities for Roran and a 10k crows reward, but fear not! He has grown a beard to disguise himself.

A soldier has recognized him beneath his beard!

"despite his beard, the the other man appeared pale." PEOPLE CAN SEE UNDER BEARDS, RORAN FUCKING DUNCEHAMMER.

How Roran pictures everyone failing to recognize him (and is horribly wrong) :

Saphira made her move on Glaedr and it went way south. She absorbed Eragon's taste for ill considered infatuation

Time for the elves to have their centennial rave

Not all these poetically inclined elves praising Eragon's long ass dramatic poem

At this elven rave, 2 (nude ofc) women sing/dance to life a magical dragon tattoo that springs free of their bodies to turn eragon into elf lite. What a world.

Eragon was reluctant to describe himself a man-elf as beautiful because it's not a masculine enough term.

After Arya rejects Eragon again:

"maybe you could share your memories so that would somehow make us the same age" GIVE IT A REST LOSER

Arya telling Eragon to back off:

I remember reading this scene and being so sad Arya said no.

Thank god Angela is no longer in Teirm so we can delay the next time we have to interact with her in any of the 3 POVs in this book.

A brief intermission so I can read the latest Lore Olympus episode.

Now that I'm properly enraged thanks to Apollo, let's continue with Eldest so I can stop breathing fire.

Nasuada daydreaming about oppressing magic users again is such a disappointment. I'd forgotten she was Like That.

Chris P: "elves don't sleep, they have dreams but they're aware the whole time. "

Me, crying:

Eragon excuses his latest lapse in Bothering Arya by telling himself he was drunk on magic and not in control of his impulses.

Yeah boiii he defeated that lil bitch Vanir

I guess there just happen to be some ominous burning plains in the country that are convenient for a battle aesthetic.

Why does the Varden have my least favorite people? Fking Angela.

All the urgal literature Oromis had Eragon read and the empathy he taught was wasted because Eragon is still kind of a racist :/

Yaaay he examined Nar Garzhvog's mind and realized that the urgals are people

Who would've thought that the twins would come back to fight for Galbatorix

It killssss me that poor Thorn is just a baby dragon forced to grow big too soon and fight for the empire

Sorry, but the battle scenes and Murtagh's dragon reveal is one of the coolest things in this series.

The comment roran makes asking if Nasuada dyes her skin black was unnecessary

Tomorrow I will start Brisingr, book 3! In the meantime, take a gander at this pretentiousness that is the second title.

It's late, but I'm going to do a bit of reading now. Let's begin with Brisingr: book 3 in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. (spoilers ahead.)

Below is a still from the very poor graphic design of the Eragon nintendo DS game I obsessed over for 2 weeks as a kid.

The religion worshipping Helgrind involving cutting off many or all of your limbs to be more holy is such a horrifying visual.

Ah, I suppose this is the book where Roran's inclination to swear at people for several minutes without taking a breath shows up.

"the sap of my vein." man don't be gross. JUST SAY BLOOD.

Still can't believe that Eragon brought a fucking WALKING STICK to the fight with the ra'azac rather than at least bringing a sword along, even if it wasn't elf made

No denying it, though, the brotherly bonding around the campfire chapter is super cute.

Oh my gods HE BROUGHT UP MURTAGH KILLING THE SLAVER (who wanted to kill or enslave them) AGAIN.

We already had sufficient reasons for you not to kill Sloan the traitor!! We have sufficient reasons now to see Murtagh's flaws!! KILLING THE SLAVER WASN'T ONE OF THEM AND SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP.

Hate to see Eragon stay behind for traitor Sloan. He's the most important person in the rebellion...and he's staying in the empire, alone, for a murderous traitor. Not a good plot point.

Never thought I'd say this, but enough with the elaborate swearing in this book. We get it, Chris P.

The trial with cutting your arms more times than your opponent to win was beautifully described.

Time for Eragon to help a random, crazy old not-elf shuck some peas??

Eragon: I am a good boy because I didn't kill Sloan the traitor :)

Arya, who ran thousands of miles and temporarily altered her elf features to be human so she could find this idiot: "...you could have just killed him, though."

"while Eragon refused to accept that his suit was hopeless"

BRO. #niceguyEragon

Undoubtedly the best passage in the series.

One of the 12 elven spellcasters is a fucking furry with blue fur and a weird aggressive sexual musk and I am UNCOMFORTABLE.

He got hurt punching someone (which arya healed for him as a sign that their romance will begin to develop from this point) so he grew a thick ridge of calluses over his knuckles and it sounds disgusting

I get why he included another campfire bonding chapter, this one with Arya, but it makes no sense why she'd confide in him so much while still knowing about & rejecting his feelings.
And the random dr who/tardis reference was self indulgent & clumsy.

There's NO WAY king orrin of surda and Nasuada would've agreed that Eragon made the right choice to dally in the empire rather than killing Sloan. The danger he was in was NOT WORTH IT.

Is it time to read more, friends? Dare I return to my slog through Brisingr, book 3 of the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini??

I am...not a fan of seeing eyes described as orbs.

Nasuada threw a casual family/village dinner for a Eragon and Roran...and Angela uses a spell or two to steal all the attention. Typical.

We can't even escape into the next chapter to get away from her

Eragon: *describing the complicated process he's going to use to uncurse Elva*

Fking Angela: I'M GOING TO KEEP INTERRUPTING WITH NONSENSE BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND ATTENTION NOT BEING DIRECTED TOWARDS ME AT ALL TIMES

Everyone:

Eyyy Jeod's wife helen finally got some money so she can build a fortune through trade

Fuck these chapter titles.

Everyone is making sex jokes as they prepare for Roran and Katrina's wedding and Eragon the virgin keeps blushing.

And I'm back for Brisingr! I've been busy for a couple of days, but I DID have a dream based in Alagaesia so I think that makes me a superfan.

We're back in the dwarf capital, where Eragon as an adopted member of the head dwarf clan is helping them choose their new king. Another rival clan just tried to assassinate him.

Roran's reaction while tasting a clump of dirt to see if it would make good farming soil:

It was unnecessary to depict fleeing villagers leaving their dog behind to be killed by a soldier's spear. Fucking heartless.

I was so impressed with Roran's cussing as a teen. Now, though...

Roran's incompetent commander got most of his own men killed while Roran defied his orders vy saving the rest and killing almost 200 soldiers on his own. But the guy's like "fuck you, insubordinate scum" so anyway men and their egos, am I right??

For the first time EVER in his life Eragon kept an ignorant and possibly offensive comment to himself.

Imagine being whipped (50 lashes) for insubordination so you could continue serving the varden, and the first voice you wake up to is ANGELA.

And now shortly after (Nasuada gave him his own command of humans and urgals) Roran has to wrestle an urgal for dominance in the mud.

Brom and Selena's story is so sad

Haha Oromis basically just told Eragon that Angela is full of shit and that he should think for himself about the future

BRO Eragon went to all this trouble to have the crochety elf smith help him forge his new rider sword and Saphira threatened the Menoa tree with fire to get at the meteorite ore under the roots and he names his sword FIRE. F I R E. This above all else proves he's like 17

It actually sets itself on fire now thanks to the name
Hark! A guitarist shreds a rock solo in the distance whenever he draws his blade named FIRE!

If Eragon's secret ancient language true name isn't something equally as graceless I'll be disappointed.

Saphira, having made a list of suitable sword names that Eragon rejected in favor of FIRE (brisingr) -

Noooo Angela agrees the sword's name is stupid. I hereby retract my claim and am obligated to agree with Eragon's choice.

Oromis's and Glaedr's deaths haunt me

I love how Eragon and Arya wordlessly comfort each other with a hug. Yet Eragon has grown and can be there for her without expectations.

So ends book 3 of the Inheritance Cycle. Book 4 is next, and its the one I only read once when it first came out because it absolutely broke my heart and it's taken me this long to recover. I really invested way too much in this series as a kid/teen.

Today's the day I start my first re-read of Inheritance, book 4 in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. I am as always woefully unprepared for what my eyes are about to read and what my heart is about to feel.

"Eragon lunged forward [with his sword] and took him in the gut" is unideal phrasing.

Every time Blodgharm the elf furry with the weird sexual musk and blue fur is mentioned I die a little inside. Not as much as when Angela makes any sign of still being alive...but enough.

Eragon complaining about not being able to use the word brisingr lest he set his sword afire at the sound of its name is poetic justice for naming his rider's sword fire in the fucking first place.

Suddenly: werecats.

Not A MINUTE into this exchange with the werecat delegation and Eragon makes a slightly racist joke about cats. Why? No one knows.

Angela is here for whatever reason and the werecats already hate her. So she makes an obscure rude comment to upset them further. Yes of course, this is the type of person a military leader like Nasuada would want with her while negotiating for allies.

"who knows why angela says or does anything?" Eragon asks.

ME. I KNOW WHY.

NASUADA ACTUALLY REPEATED THE RACIST JOKE DIRECTLY TO THE WERECAT KING'S FACE OH MY GOD

It just blew over I guess but phew was that a bad, unprofessional decision.

So...saphira just randomly ripped off a direct quote from Gollum and no one noticed??
"is it tasty? Is it scrumptious?"

Also the entire 4 page chapter I just read could have and should have been cut from the book. It served 0 purpose whatsoever. Except to rip off an LOTR line, I guess.

Eragon considering Arya intensely while she's occupied trying to contact Glaedr in his Eldunari: "so pretty...smells like crushed pine needles...how..."

Nasuada responding to Orrin's insulting recommendation she cover the scars on her forearms from the trial of the long knives:

Eragon sparred Arya and she wiped the floor with him again because he's not used to fighting truly skilled opponents anymore

What the fuck, Paolini?

After 2 days during which my body attempted to self-destruct I am BACK to read more of Inheritance by Christopher Paolini.

Also, if I had to see this meme, so do you. Suffer.

I am Unsure why we have to keep mentioning throughout the books that Nasuada's horse is named Battle-storm.

Oop Murtagh and Thorn were apparently available to defend Dras-Leona. It's gonna be a helluva fight.

A brief break because my sister just went in to have her baby and we're hoping nothing's wrong. I'm going ti continue to read so I worry a little less.

Somehow in book FOUR "Oi!" has become a word that must be repeated to death after never once being used the rest of the series. It does not add the peasant flavor Chris P thinks it does.

I hate when people lose teeth during a fight in books. I know it's realistic, but that and anything to do with eyes grosses me the fuck out

Saphira fretting about losing a tiny scale on her nose is so cute

Elva refusing to help with the siege just to be ornery is a mark of Angela's unintentional influence on her and that's that.

What Eragon needs when he's getting romantic thoughts while sparring with Arya:

Ugh he's POUTING, so gross. Keep it together, man.

Meanwhile, Arya hits him again:

Glaedr woke up in his Eldunari just long enough to express his disappointment in Eragon. We know, buddy. We get it.

*soft gasp* might Eragon realize that the bulk of his feelings for Arya are because he's idealized her to the point of worship rather than seeing her as a whole person?

There's an important council going on deciding who goes on a mission to explore a tunnel into Dras-Leona and fucking ANGELA is trying to go along.

Me @ Angela when she runs her mouth in the tunnel:

Eragon risking the mission rather than arguing with Angela:

The enemy kidnapped Angela! PLEASE PLEASE KILL HER.

Footage of Eragon trying to stab through a door and Arya calmly walking up and opening it with a spell:

Yeah so is anyone going to acknowledge that Eragon and Arya wouldn't have been captured at all if Angela hadn't been involved????

Well, turns out the freaky people of dras-leona worshipped the raazac, not the evil mountain, and they've been babysitting some eggs for years. Ick.

Angela is saving them but guess what? I don't forgive her.

But Arya literally degloved her hand to save Eragon (while he was preparing to do the same for her)

After chasing off Murtagh and Thorn and taking the city, Eragon went to scold Elva for not helping them and she actually listened.

Eragon and Arya got drunk on elf liquor mixed with some kind of hallucinogen and now they miiight be under attack.

Oop they kidnapped Nasuada.

I hereby proclaim that king orrin of surda is a whiny lil bitch that has developed a drinking problem.

Finally meeting Galbatorix was actually rewarding. It just sucks that it's when he's using Murtagh to torture Nasuada.

Are you for fucking real my guy

It's okay Nasuada, flesh eating grubs would break me too.

So radioactive Vroengard island is populated by multiplying burrow grubs and massive, man eating snails.

There are dragon eggs that survived yay

I honestly do not care about Roran at this point, his storyline this book has been lackluster.

Eragon spent like 2 hours taunting one of the man eating snails as it chased him in a circle.

The snail:

Erqgon considering the pocket in space the surviving free eldunari helped him create and trying to figure it out:

So anyway, CAN I skip the rest of the Roran chapters? The only non-boring thing he did this book was help his pregnant wife wash dishes after making sure everyone in the Varden knew he was still a man's man by doing so.

Please please never ever use the phrase "tongue-lashing" again.

Galby making Eragon and Murtagh fight would be cool-IF WE DIDN'T HAVE ANOTHER RORAN CHAPTER IN THE WAY.

Eragon casting the empathy spell on Galbatorix:

Idgaf Murtagh and Thorn are my faves and I miss them.

The DAY Saphira meets Firnen she initiates kinky sexy times; we stan a proactive queen

As expected, I'm not liking Nasuada as high queen. She's petulant & very prejudiced.

Aaaand...it's over. Eragon and Saphira left Alegaesia never to return. Arya and Eragon never even kissed. They chose duty over love, but it didn't feel contrived. The ending makes sense. Still...

It's been many years and Chris P decided to work on a dumb scifi book rather than closing the series. Not sure I can forgive that now I've reread the series as an adult.

So now that I've slept on it, more thoughts:
Arya & Firnen could have and would have left with Eragon & Saphira if Queen Islanzadi hadn't died a pointless death trying to kill Lord Barst.
Most of Inheritance should have been cut. Parts of it were beautiful, but it draaaged.

I read a review saying Nasuada's imprisonment and torture should've been from Murtagh's POV, since HE was the one who developed and changed as a character throughout. It was crucial to the entire plot.
Saphira's character kind of dropped off at the end. (more)

I get it, she was with Firnen and they were happy, but her insight and stuff was so important throughout the series and I hated to see it end with her so absent.

Let's see how this one holds up to the rest of the series...

Behold: it was an UTTER waste of time. Poor, rambling writing, characters no one asked for or gave a fuck about, angela was the most obnoxious yet, and the actual book was formatted so it was obviously a padded out cash grab. Despicable. I really do fear for future books now.