A THREAD: Ok tranimals, let’s talk about DATING bisexual men as a femboy, a stage almost all androphilic TW are in pre-transition. As someone who has a vast history of sluttery, a high body count & a sharp interest in the social dynamics of dating, I have interesting experiences.

My first experiences of this were on the app Grindr/Tinder. Before I transitioned, & still presented as a feminine boy, I occasionally got messages on dating apps asking if I was trans/a girl, asked in a way that implied they hoped I would say yes; I was perceived as feminine.

I had a bunch of hookups/dates with these men. Usually they were what I like to call, fem attracted bisexuals (FABs) who’s attraction ranges from females, TW & femboys, but have most of their experiences with females. These men encouraged femininity in a way I wasn’t used to.

With typical gay men, They would often ''critique'' me for, excessive femininity, mannerisms, how I wore my hair, etc. A little was tolerated, too much & I got “you look a bit too much like a girl that way”, “why do you move so girly” “you moan way too fem, be a boy pls”.

So when I went out with these FABs, I was initially suprised, they ALL prefered TW to femboys, femboys typically being feminine males who haven’t medically feminized & typically wear more male/androgynous clothing. They encouraged me to be as fem as I wanted, & it was refreshing.

Anyway, I went on this date still presenting as a femboy with this FAB, his let’s call him Jake. He invited me to his place & cooked me dinner, & poured us some wine. I was curious to this different situation, so during dinner, my inquisitive ass interrogated him basically.

I asked about his sexual preferences & basically got the same answer I have from nearly ALL FABs. “I like anything feminine, I’ve mostly been with females, some TW, & an occasional femboy, usually the latter just for sex relations, dating femboys is hard; fucking them is easy”.

Femboys don’t present nearly as feminine as typical females or TW, therefore dating them does complicate dynamics & appearances somewhat, they clearly prefered TW/female but femboys were an option because, femboys with testosterone are horny like men & thus, an easy, eager lay.

With my various questions answered, Jake & I were getting tipsy, starting to finish our first bottle of wine. I was excited, I felt nice not having to edit my feminine expression & he complimented me on feminine qualities, rare in typical gay world. He sat closer to me..

We were flirty, but the way he flirted was more like how a man usually flirts with a woman. He had been mainly with females, so his technique was based on those experiences. He was gentle, slow paced & more masc in general. No references to gay culture, it was a different world.

After gently & carefully moving into me slowly, putting his muscular arm around me, I basically just did what any horny gay boy would do, I went in for the kiss, & kiss we did, a lot, all over the couch. Immediately I noticed this both felt & was in reality, different.

The way he kissed, & the way he touched me was MUCH different from gay men. He was gentle, he moved his hands over my body as if he was holding a female, he reflexively squeezed my non-existant chest, gripped my small waist tightly, held me up with his strength, it was new.

This description isn’t just for smut. It’s expresses a common theme, that masculine men who are attracted to femininity (& thus mostly women) will express that to you, even in physical ways. Intimacy is like a dance, & straight men/FABs have a different routine than gay men.

Things got quite heated, & I was just as intrigued by this new experience as I was horny. (he was FINE, ugh girl). The amateur scientist/sexologist in me couldn’t help analyze everything he was doing, while enjoying them, I typically do this when dating thus, this thread.

We got undressed & he picked me up off my feet, as if sweeping a damsel away, & brought us over to his bedroom. Everything he did screamed “you might not be a girl, but I like you treat you like one” These men prefered a typical masculine & feminine dynamic despite your maleness.

A concept I would like to introduce to further highlight this is what I like to call: gendered intimacy colloquialisms, or GICs. These are basically phrases used in intimate/sexual settings, that are based on certain gendered/sexed traits. Aka, a man calling your asshole a pussy.

These phrases/words are not purely based on visuals or biological reality, they are a reflection of the abstract associations of those things to express how the user of the GICs feels or experiences you. Gay men have used GICs on me, but with FABs, they became more female coded.

Sex can be a form of true honesty, especially for men. People tend to dirty talk to turn themselves & others on. I intuitively & slightly nervously responded to Jakes GICs during sex with my own, “Yeah daddy, this pussy is all yours” & it was obvious this got him going hard.

This mirrors perfectly instances of my fiancé calling me his “girl”. I am NOT a female, but as a TW, he experiences & associates me abstractly with the word girl. The term takes on a new meaning in this context, & it reveals how what his thinking patterns are relating to me.

What was obvious during my sexual encounter with Jake, was that he & oher FABs create a space for fem gay men(and thus potential TW) in an intimate setting to be comfortable in expressing yourself & your GNC desires. The sex was just WAY more fulfilling this way, I was sold.

I was already thinking of transition by this point & after my experience with Jake, I wouldn’t be intimate with another gay man ever again. From an academic standpoint, these men looked & acted basically as masculine as masc straight men & fuck were they good-looking hunks.

As I progressed to dating FABs exclusively before I transitioned, I had growing experiences of their ways of thinking. They would suggest I shave my legs, or wear feminine clothing such as panties during sex, they projected their desire for femininity onto me & I happily obliged.

This illustrates a theme I found among other feminine boys I spoke with. Getting fucked by FABs was considered a way of being with masculine, “straightish” men who would allow & desire your femininity in a way gay men did not typically permit. They were often known as “trade”.

FAB “trade” was coveted & mystical in the gay community. Some considered them myth “they’re gay in denial”. But they clearly weren’t. Nothing in character or sexual preferences & history suggested they were homosexuals in denial to me. I NEVER saw one come out eventually as gay.

Another element of FABs in the gay community that is largely unknown, is the proximity of FABs & drag queens. Drag queens tend to be highly effeminate, & in drag, sometimes feminine enough for FAB “trade” to fuck them in, drag is an artform/job & simultaneously a sexual strategy.

For TW, FABs are often a stepping stone until we can access & include the vast pool of open-minded heterosexuals into our dating/sexual lives, once we start physically registering more as women through transition. FABs TEND to not seriously date femboys, but they do Date TW.

So once gay femboys find this group of men they highly prefer, suddenly they meet a dilemma they have never had before. “I’m not feminine ENOUGH for them, especially for a relationship” the reverse is true in gay world for them, usually not being masc enough. @0xCAFEBEEF is shook

This creates for many an additional incentive to transition. The feeling of a happier, more fulfilling relationship & sex life is laid before you to sample. Further highlighting the typical HSTS pre-cursor mindsets & desires. Sample I did, many, many times.