And here we go! Hoping to get in the first half of Return of the King before my ding dang chronic pain body decides that's enough.

Y'know, I think this was the first time I saw Andy Serkis not in the Gollum bodysuit...

Sam really has a gift for saying little things that strike Frodo right in the heart

I ADORE the reunion at Isengard's gates. Gimli bellowing at Merry and Pippin, Legolas' fond grin, Aragorn laughing... It's just wonderful

Théoden's thunderous response to Saruman hhhhhh everyone is cast so godDAMN perfectly

100% forgot that Saruman used Cast Fireball on Gandalf lololol

Thinking about how Christopher Lee was definitely an assassin in his 20s and definitely killed people by stabbing them in the back ahahaha this guy

Return to Meduseld and some of my favorite muuuusiiic

Does Legolas know that Gimli challenging him to a drinking game was him saying ilu

I love this bit and my partner is laughing uproariously yesss

Merry and Pippin dancing and singing a drinking song from Back Home

Gollum and Sméagol complaining about how shitty orcs taste lmao

Sam sure beats Gollum a lot :/

Single most unrealistic thing about people sleeping in Meduseld is how far apart they're spaced. Y'all get cozy, it's cold as balls in there!

Éowyn's dream of the great dark wave :( I remember how upset for her I was when I read the book

Pippin :( bb no :((

The Palantír are dangerous as fuuuuck

Pippin, beautiful foolish brave Hobbit, withstanding an assault from the greatest evil in their world. The strength of Hobbits, indeed

That bright, fast piece of music as Gandalf hurries Pippin to leave! I love it so much!

Pippin and Merry's parting still leaves me in tears, oh shit

THE REFORGING OF NARSIL FUCKYESSSS

Also lmao "the crownless again shall be King" yet another verse nicked from Bilbo's writing about Aragorn

Had to pause the movie bc I mentioned that Minas Tirith isn't the main city of Gondor and then had to give an explanation skfhska next time I'll just hand my partner the Appendices

Pippin flashing back to the sacrifice of Boromir :(((

Crying again, dammit

Love how much of the dialog between Gandalf and Denethor here is pulled directly from the book

Sam, wonderful Sam :( he carries more hope in his little body than most folk have in their pinky

Hnnnghg the kingsfoil on the statue's removed head, giving him a crown once more I LOVE THAT

Hi there Peter Jackson

Oh no we're close to Pippin's song I ain't ready

The WitchKing of Angmar! My fave bad bitch

God just looking at the Stairs of Cirith Ungol gives me legitimate vertigo

The FUCKING music when Minas Morgul sends up its signal, jesus crackers. Scared the shit outta so badly I yelped in the cinema

Important update, I still want a fellbeast

Aaand a Nazgûl fit, I need that and a dope black horse

Faramir :( dearheart :(

BEACONS BEACONS BEACONS ALMOST TIME FOR BEACONS

i weep every gotdamn time

"Hope is kindled."

*hides under blanket, sobbing*

AH YES time to sob about Merry pledging his sword and life to Théoden King

ÉOMER YAASSSS

Oh hi there Viggo's son

GANDALF VS NAZGÛL LETS GEDDIT

GAHH Ben Del Maestro's voice is exquisite here

Too angry at Denethor to tweet

Denethor,,,,, fuck u

with a saguaro

Faramir and Pippin :"")

Pippin getting a laugh out of Faramir even in the midst of his pain

The sound design of the Hall of Minas Tirith hhhh it's neat. You can hear wind soughing in it, and every tiny sound echoes almost painfully. It's uncomfortable, brilliantly so

Quoting along word for word with Gollum just so I can hear my partner giggle

Mmmmmm most loathed bit of the movie coming up

Frodo would never tell Sam to leave. Never. Their bond was unshakeable until Frodo was standing within goddamn Mount Doom.

Oh hello Peter Jackson's kids

Ah no :( it's time for Pippin's song

So painful and so utterly beautiful. Pippin ending in tears, and then cutting to Gandalf sitting alone in fading light.... ahh it's good, it hurts

Karl Urban I have missed your eyebrow acting

Mm yes love this reminder that movie Aragorn tried to shirk his heritage and now Elrond has to bring him Andúril, whereas book Aragorn was all yeah I know my destiny and I'm gonna fucking fulfill it, now let's do this Ring quest

Elrond: go fetch the undead army, I brought ur sword
Movie Aragorn: uhh but I'm no King, I'm not worthy--
Book Aragorn: Elrond isn't here (but his sons and my Rangers are) and thx for the King's banner you brought, I already have my sword, now I'm gonna go fetch the undead army

I miss Elladan and Elrohir

I miss Dernhelm!!!! fuck

Gimli huffing and puffing at the ghostly hands reaching for his face

The army of the dead really freaked me out and at the same time the scene was really cool

Sure do love how the undead took one look at him and went "O shit! He's the King! He'll release us from our cursed unrest!" and followed him instantly :))) instead of mocking him and peacing out :)))

Yesss the string section for Denethor's madness

GROND

Grond the battering ram, named for the mace that Sauron's former master used and fashioned to look like (at least to me) Carcharoth the wolf. Terrifying and coool

Wait it cut to black. That's where part 1 ends?? Right before the Battle of Pelennor Fields?!?!? Noooo I need to sleep!

Well then. Break for now, team, and rejoin tomorrow evening.

AND WE ON!

Part 2 of Return of the King opens with Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas facing the Corsairs on the river. "Mind your aim, laddie!" and the ensuing events had my partner in stitches

The film version of Shelob's Lair is much...wetter than I had imagined it to be. I definitely remember gagging. Love this anxiety-inducing music, though

Galadriel has the most comforting smile

I love this little moment between Éowyn and Merry, even as I'm internally howling at the foolishness of Éowyn removing her helmet like that

GROND GROND GROND

Am I still sad about the design they chose for Shelob? Yes, absolutely. I hoped for elegance, and clear intelligence

I DO love the hero shot of Sam with Sting and the Phial of Galadriel, that's fantastic

Gandalf vs the WitchKing that's my SHIT

PELENNOR FIELDS IT'S TIME

MY FAVORITE SCENE MY FAVORITE MUSIC

THE RIDE OF THE ROHIRRIM

RIDE FOR RUIN AND THE WORLD'S ENDING

I bawl every single time, I love the ride of the Rohirrim

Ahhh time to fuck up Denethor, FINALLY (still wish he had the Palantír)

Denethor YEET

That scene just gets me right in the heart

WITCHKING

MY LADY

Eheheheehe

Théoden and Éowyn :(

"I know your face."

:(((

Pippin searching for Merry on the fields of the dead

ÉOMER'S SCREAM

I'm so fucking happy these scenes in the Houses of Healing exist

Pippin and Merry

"And that's for my old Gaffer!" I FUDGING LOVE SAM

Lol just remembered that in the books Frodo is stripped buck naked in the guard tower

Somewhat disappointed that movie Sam is briefly tempted here by the Ring instead of going oh yeah sure, here u go Mr Frodo

The severe chafing around Frodo's neck is eerie. Good hinting at the fact that the Ring has been getting physically heavier the closer they get to Sauron

I LOVE HIM

Faramir and Éowyn having their moment

Sam throwing away his pots and pans is such a little thing and fucidkjvjskx stupid crying

Wasn't the star that Sam spotted Eärendil?

And Sam saying "I don't think there'll be a return journey" fuckiing breaks my heart, he's admitted to himself that neither of them will make it back

Mmmm gotta love the precise marching.. I crack up knowing those were some very excited irl soldiers

Remember that the small plain they shot the Gates of Mordor on was an active minefield? And the Mouth of Sauron's horse spooked and ran away across it while he couldn't see a thing? GOOD TIMES

Aragorn gives a Kingly Rousing Speech! It's super effective

Ah fuck here's the scene that made Peter Jackson cry while shooting it

No thoughts just tears and feelings

Didn't this battle have the most irl injuries bc the soldiers playing both men and orcs didn't hold back (much)?

Gwaihir the Windlord, here to fuck up hellbeasts

*whispers* Frodo got the wrong finger bitten off

Frodo: *puts the Ring on*
Nazgûl: hold the fuckin phone?! The what is WHERE?!? JESUS, GET TO THE VOLCANO

I Am Fine

With the Ring gone, Frodo can finally remember the Shire.... Hahabahahahbha im okay

HAH I remember people in the cinema freaking out with that fade to black bc they thought it was the end of the movie

Nah there's like 12 false endings

Merry and Pippin's response to seeing Frodo (awake) is to JUMP ON HIM

BROS WHY

Sam appears in the doorway so they can stare Meaningfully at One Another around everyone else present

....I'm gonna reread the Coronation just so I have the right picture in my head. I love the book Coronation

Back again and backing it up to the beginning of the Coronation. I like seeing cranes instead of trebuchets in the different circles of Minas Tirith; a city rebuilding :")

Elrond trying so fckng hard to not cry oh gosh

I looive Arwen's outfit aahhh

*continued sobbing*

13 months, goddamn. Bilbo's dragon adventure took longer

Sam going for Rosie awww

Frodo keeps Bag End much tidier :")

Look at respectable Mayor Samwise Gamgee :")

The Grey Haven! Time to cry again!

Also the first time you see Elrond and Gandalf with their own Rings ahaha

Into the West is the only song I don't sing along with because I'm still hiccuping from crying

Okay I've finally stopped hiccuping

I'm all rung out. Feels a tad cathartic, honestly. The credits are still rolling and I already miss Middle-earth

...Gonna watch the Appendices tomorrow

Whewww. And that's that! I will not tweet my way through the Appendices; that may be too pedantic and I shouldn't afflict y'all with even more scarcely comprehensible yelling about LOTR