How bored am I? I’m starting Game of Thrones

GOT season one review: this show has a million characters and I can keep track of about 7 of them, a million blood-spurting deaths, a million unnecessary boobs, a lot of blonde men who are awful, but I enjoyed it. Who knew?

GOT season 2 review: there are a million more characters, a million more deaths, A DEMON GHOST BABY WAS BORN, tiny dragons, and some zombies showed up. The only redeeming characters seem to be the Stark children, their caretakers, and maybe John Snow? Season 3 starts today!

Also, I like the wolves.

GOT season 3 review: WHY DO THEY KEEP KILLING EVERYONE?!?

Game of Thrones season four review: Jamie Lannister is one handsome bastard.

Game of Thrones season five review: I’ll stand with the Stark children any day, I refuse to believe Jon Snow is dead, why did it take so long for little lady to use her dragon powers?

Game of Thrones season six review: why wasn’t Shia LeBeuof cast as John Snow? I’m glad the red witch got sent away. How does anyone keep track of all these people? Why do the wolves keep getting killed?

Game of Thrones season seven review: Arya Stark ain’t nothing to f&@k with, THERE’S A GHOST DRAGON, why the hell did Ed Shearon make an appearance?

Game of Thrones season eight review: [insert character name here] is the reason we can’t have nice things, smile for the camera Bran, how are the unsullied going to start a new kingdom without penises?

Game of Thrones series review: why was everyone so upset with the ending? It was as good as the rest of the show, which is to say good but not great. Entertaining mess of a violence, boobs, and betrayal. 7/10, probably not rewatchable.