Read on Twitter
THREAD for anyone who is anxious about the upcoming general conference. Especially for queer Mormons 
who are probably more likely to be with their families at this time. For a lot of queer Mormons, general conference can be traumatizing or retraumatizing (triggering). https://twitter.com/ElleMaeGal/status/1244776787550384130
who are probably more likely to be with their families at this time. For a lot of queer Mormons, general conference can be traumatizing or retraumatizing (triggering). https://twitter.com/ElleMaeGal/status/1244776787550384130
This is perhaps especially true when viewing with family members who they may or may not be out to and who are likely to weaponize spiritual ideas against them.
Keep in mind advice abt prayer/study/coming w/ questions, but this thread is focused on how to manage anxiety/trauma.
Keep in mind advice abt prayer/study/coming w/ questions, but this thread is focused on how to manage anxiety/trauma.
Before GC, write out a few scenarios you think are likely to happen.
EX: For me it's probably going to be triggering when Oaks speaks no matter what he says. For this concern I would write out: "When Oaks speaks I will..." and then make a short list of things I can do to cope.
EX: For me it's probably going to be triggering when Oaks speaks no matter what he says. For this concern I would write out: "When Oaks speaks I will..." and then make a short list of things I can do to cope.
The list of ideas of how to cope is going to be personal, but I find inspiration from DBT distress tolerance skills. These tools that can help anyone manage pain/discomfort in emotional crisis situations. This article is fantastic. ( https://www.sunrisertc.com/distress-tolerance-skills/).
Try to think about where your boundaries are and know that you can (hopefully) take short breaks. You can go to the bathroom if you need to.
Last GC, my boundary was crossed as soon as Oaks said "LGBT" during women's session. I walked out of the chapel at that point.
Last GC, my boundary was crossed as soon as Oaks said "LGBT" during women's session. I walked out of the chapel at that point.
Kind self-talk can be a lifesaver.
Preparing a few affirmations might be helpful. Sometimes, in the midst of a stressful or triggering experience, it's hard to come up with kind and helpful self-talk in the moment. It might be nice to have a few one liners in prepared.
Preparing a few affirmations might be helpful. Sometimes, in the midst of a stressful or triggering experience, it's hard to come up with kind and helpful self-talk in the moment. It might be nice to have a few one liners in prepared.
Here are a few examples:
"It's okay to feel sad."
"It's okay to feel angry."
"It's okay to feel scared."
"I can get past this."
"Iâm surrounded by support, seen and unseen."
"I am loved."
"I am enough."
"It's okay to feel sad."
"It's okay to feel angry."
"It's okay to feel scared."
"I can get past this."
"Iâm surrounded by support, seen and unseen."
"I am loved."
"I am enough."
Another idea is to have small sensory things to distract you or ground you. This could be crocheting or origami. But, it could also be as simple as wearing a bracelet or ring that you can fidget with when you feel anxious or triggered.
This could also be a pen/pencil to take notes with can double as a fidget toy. Gum or something to chew/eat can be helpful too.
Another idea is to "take notes" in some way. You can do it on your phone or in a notebook. You could live-tweet if you want (make sure to use the hashtag). A notebook might be better than a phone because then you can also draw/doodle/color and that might be calming.
In your notes, you can write how your feeling, what messages speak to you, what ways you feel misrepresented and why, what you like that you've heard, why you're hurting etc. This helps you to get it out of your head and it's also discreet and "acceptable."
Kathryn wrote this article a while back and it contains a lot of helpful suggestions/ideas. I love this line about prayer: "No matter what happens this weekend, no matter what anyone says, your prayers are powerful and they are heard." ( https://youngmormonfeminists.org/2014/04/04/surviving-general-conference/amp/).
Disclaimer: If you know GC is unhealthy for you + you have the choice, you don't have to watch it live (or at all). Please do what is best for you. According to research from Jana Riess, 40% of "active" members don't even watch general conference. https://religionnews.com/2017/11/07/whos-not-watching-mormon-general-conference/
All of the ideas in this thread are just suggestions and ideas so please don't let them overwhelm you.
Find what works for you.
You are loved.
Find what works for you.
You are loved.
Also, if anyone has any other suggestions or ideas, please share them!
