Oh no my wife is threatening to cut my hair.

This could go badly.

“It might be a little shorter than you’re used to.”

She’s calling it a “corona cut” and snickering while saying “you can’t see that...”

She’s saying “I’m sorry” while laughing hysterically.

Oh no.

“Don’t worry I’m making it better.”

Narrator voice: she is not.

She’s blaming it on me because I said “don’t just stab the scissors randomly towards my head, don’t really hairdressers use their fingers.”

“I didn’t go to beauty school,” she just told me. This is the kind of thing you want to learn before you give someone cutting implements.

You know the part of the haircut where they hand you a mirror and then show you the back? This is the part, in a real professional haircut, where I run screaming from the building.

Oh hell.

Oh no I have to teach tomorrow.