So, its no secret that I hate cooking, but with social distancing going on and some of my favorite restaurants shutting down Im having to cook more. I’ve started using a meal service so I can avoid the grocery store as much as possible while still having something edible.

Because misery love company Im going to subject you guys to my adventures in culinary suffering either until I get bored of this, develops Stockholm syndrome with the stove, or manage to kill myself with food poisoning.

Tonights disaster was some fancy pork thing. Turns out large slabs of meat are hard to cook properly. I eventually gave up, sliced it, and overcooked all the pieces at once.

The sauce ended up the consistency of glue with about the same taste. Rice cooker saved me on the rice.

Today’s mistake was quite a bit easier and therefor more edible. I killed the chicken by overcooking it, learned that there’s a reason you’re supposed to cook Brussels sprouts face down, and somehow even managed to fuck up the toast.

The sauce was surprisingly good though.

Also, portion sizes on meal services are obnoxiously small. I’m a growing boy and I need Calories.