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It’s been a year since I’ve made an entry on my face book page. I’ve been totally immersed in dark events of my life. About a year ago we learned that Marilyn, my wife of 65 years, had multiple myeloma (a cancer of blood cells). One day, shortly after learning about her diagnosis
, we took a walk together and she said she’d like us to write a book together about her illness and how it was affecting the remainder of our lives.
And so we did. About ten months ago we began writing alternating chapters in our new book about our responses to her illness and
And so we did. About ten months ago we began writing alternating chapters in our new book about our responses to her illness and
her approaching death. Marilyn died last November, over four months ago, and ever since then I’ve been writing the second half of the book alone. Yesterday I finished the last chapter. It’s a book about our facing her fatal disease and her death and my subsequent course of grief
My working title is “A Matter of Death and Life.” It will be published by Stanford University Press. No one other than the publisher has read it but I feel it is a unique book of a couple writing so openly about facing death and about the subsequent inner experience
of the surviving spouse. In the last several weeks I’ve also had a deep experience of what it’s like to endure a deep depression, obsessional thinking, and the deep mourning of a loved one – it’s been a remarkable education for a therapist.
The book has been a life saver for me and every day I have looked forward to plunging into the writing and now, that I’ve finished, I’m feeling a bit at sea and hoping that I’ll soon see the sails of another book coming into view.
My writing has not only made it possible to survive Marilyn’s death but it also has helped me survive the isolation of our current world wide epidemic.
A few weeks ago my daughter, Eve, has moved in with me and thanks to her love and caring, I’ve gradually climbed out of my grief/depression.
I’ve stopped my ongoing therapy practice but am still continuing to see individuals via zoom or skype for one or two consultations of an hour and offer whatever I can to be helpful, including, if indicated, a suitable referral. My gmail is iyalom@gmail.com
