OK 1 like = 1 alternative dystopia

A world just like our own, but they never invented biscuits so people dunk any old stuff in their tea. Toast, boiled potatoes, cheese, meat.

A world just like our own, but there's zeppelins in all the buildings so you have to sort of squeeze past them to get anywhere.

A world just like our own, but Evel Knievel was called "Morullyambivullent Knorullyambivullent" and his stunts weren't incredibly difficult feats, they were just really weird. Like "I will drive this car straight next to a ramp" or "I will ride my moped while saying 'motorbike.'"

A world just like our own, but there isn't a word for sand.

A world just like our own, but when the apple fell on Newton's head he invented the helmet.

A world just like our own, but there's an authoritarian worldwide theocracy which decrees that it is sinful to have a chat out of wedlock, so you have to marry someone if you want to speak to them. This makes things very difficult.

A world just like our own, but double decker buses have a basement.

A world just like our own, but the Creme Egg was named the Ovoidal Semen Sack so never really took off. Even with the "Why do you eat yours?" advertising campaign.

A world just like our own, but the milk man is a man who comes to the house and feeds your young from one of his many teats. He has a long moustache and one eye. And he wears a hat.

A world just like our own, but Martin Clunes is POTUS.

A world just like our own, but your buttocks are owned by the state.

A world just like our own, but the office supplies company "Staples" is named "Treasury-Tags".

A world just like our own, but Karl Marx was just a man who created a system for evaluating people called Karl / Carl. Stalin & co. still ran with it as a political system, and the cold war was mainly America going "This just doesn't seem nice for Carls."

A world just like our own, but Aardman are in charge of all the news programmes, so there's a big delay between something happening and finding out about it because all the newsreaders are made of plasticine and it takes ages to move them a bit and take a still and move them a bi

A world just like our own, but GIFs are the main form of entertainment. So you go to the cinema and there's two hours of adverts, and then you watch the GIF you came for.

A world just like our own, but in tennis the word for Zero isn't Love, it's Bumhole. So the umpire might say "30 - Bumhole" for example. Also, this means Cryptic Crossword writers have to be a bunch more inventive.

A world just like our own but you have to pay to fart.

A world just like our own, but Bert slipped off the roof and died in the first few minutes of Mary Poppins, leaving Mary an emotional wreck for the rest of the film, and definitely in no condition to look after children.

A world just like our own, but bustles are still in.

A world just like our own, but loads of time travellers from different eras turned up in Hitler's nursery at the same time to kill him, and whenever one of them would go to kill him a new time traveller would pop up in the way and be killed acccidentally.

A world just like our own, but the Titanic never hit that Iceberg, and the film they made about it really lacked a sense of jeopardy.

A world just like our own, but surfaces are a lot slippier so we've had to adapt to that.

A world just like our own, But Torville and Dean went into real estate.

A world just like our own, but every member of the elite has a dedicated percussionist / swannee whistler to do Panto style sound effects for every accident they have.

A world just like our own, but the TV series Sliders (1995-2000) was never made.

A world just like our own, but Scrabble uses numbers not letters, so you have to use your numbers to write a number on the board and, as long as that's a real number, it's allowed and, to be honest, it's far too easy a game.

A world just like our own, but pizzas have the toppings on the bottom and they're called "bottomings" and actually it's pretty cool because the tasty bit goes straight on your tongue.

A world just like our own, but after making The Invention of Lying, & realising it was just the premise of Liar Liar inverted, RG proceeded to make photo-negative remakes of all Jim Carrey's films. So a film about a Mask which takes away your powers when you put it on (1/?)

and a film about a man with the opposite of a quiff who farts out of his mouth and does crime against pets and a film about a man who is in the real world watching a show about the population of the planet being in a TV show and a film about everybody but Andy Kaufman and (2/?)

a film about Batman fighting a supervillain who speaks very plainly & directly without even using metaphor or figures of speech or anything and a film about a man who really wants to remember Kate Winslet and a film about a very slow hedgehog and a very nice scientist and (3/?)

a film not about two men one of whom was dumber than the other one, but about two men one of whom was *less* dumb than the other etcetera etcetera (4/4)

A world just like our own, but food is very spicy by default and you can use "Mild Sauce" to cool it down.

A world just like our own, but waterflumes aren't fun for some reason.

A world just like our own, but they don't have Ant and Dec they have Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Ant and Dec and they always stand in the same order so you know which Ant is which.

A world just like our own, but time is metric and lengths are measured in grams.

A world just like our own, but there's a silent 'b' at the end of bumb.

A world just like our own, but bees are plaid not stripey.

A world just like our own, but you have to glue the leaves back on the trees in the spring.

A world just like our own, but Gwen Stefani's song "Hollaback Girl" doesn't have the bit where she spells "bananas" you have to figure it out for yourself.

A world just like our own, but there *is* an “i” in “teiam”.

A world just like our own, but no one thinks Nicola Tesla was cool.

A world just like our own, but the Earl of Sandwich invented pessaries, so they’re called sandwiches there. So a doctor might say “Watch out, pal! I’m going to stick a sandwich right up you”.

[40] A world just like ours, but in TV series The Bill (1983 - 2010) they only ever filmed the actors from the shins down, like in the titles.

[41] A world just like ours, but the Village People dressed up as Harry Potter, Dorothy, Dracula, Willy Wonka and Huckleberry Finn, like they were doing World Book Day

[42] A world just like ours, but the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice (1995) was filmed entirely in the pond

[43] A world just like ours, but Popeye died of malnutrition because he wouldn’t eat anything other that spinach

[44] A world just like ours but, in his entire professional career, Bruce Forsyth never once got a response from an audience when he said “Nice to see you, to see you...!” And he still opened with it Every. Single. Time.

[45] A world just like ours, but the phrase isn't "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" it's "when bad things happen, carbonate them and add sugar".

[46] A world just like ours, but Mario prioritised his plumbing business.

[47] A world just like our own, but countries don't have flags, they have noises. The UK's is the noise of a plastic ruler going "duh-duh-duh-duh-doing" off the side of a desk. France's is an angry goose honking. The USA's is the country's name chanted over and over by a bellend.

Oh no there's a side thread here.

[48] A world just like our own, but cats are friendly and dogs are mean.

[49] A world just like our own, but pans don't have handles so you always burn your hands when you take them off the hob.

[50] A world just like our own, but Ringo Starr narrates the movements of *all* trains not just Thomas.

[51] A world just like our own, but the keys on pianos are in random order so pianists really have to work for it.

[52] A world just like our own, but horses have really springy feet.

[53] A world just like our own, but when you click your fingers your nose falls off.

[54] A world just like our own, but trousers are illegal.

[55] A world just like our own, but Diana Ross is called Diana Rossfromfriends.

[56] A world just like our own, but you *can* get better than a Kwik Fit Fitter.

[57] A world just like our own, but Mr Motivator took his wife's name and so is known as Mr Critchlow

[58] A world just like our own, but JFK caught the bullet in his teeth and followed his Presidency with a lucrative career as a magician.

[59] A world just like our own, but Hamburglar had a nurturing childhood and never turned to a life of crime. His name is still Hamburglar because that was the name of the doctor who saved his mum's life and she promised.

[60] A world just like our own, but you get three fingers in a Twix.

[61] A world just like our own, but maths is cool.

[62] A world just like our own, but Edith Piaf regretted five things.

[63] A world just like our own, but everyone has a practice coffin to help them get used to the idea.

[64] A world just like our own, but Nike's slogan is "I'd like to see you draw a better logo".

[65] A world just like our own, but McDonalds diversified from the Happy Meal range and offer a number of different emotional options (Sad Meal, Bored Meal, I Don't Know Kind of Flat I Guess Meal, Finally Got My Meds Balanced Meal etc.) (1/2)

They had to discontinue the Terrified Meal because the profit margins on pocket-sized interdimensional squid gods was too low. (2/2)

[66] A world just like our own, but Disneyland has more of a Summerisle-from-The-Wicker-Man vibe. It's very cheap to stay in the onsite hotels because of the likelihood of a naked Mickey doing pagan dancing up against the other side of the door.

[67] A world just like our own, but when people sneeze other people don't say "Bless You" they say "Congratulations on Your Working Nose".

[68] A world just like our own, but The Beatles never split up, and indeed added a member each year.

[69] A world just like our own, but what we would call "A 69" they call "i!" It's so tricky to intonate a lower case but exclamatory i, that people very rarely talk about it.

[70] A world just like our own, but the government has banned leaning. You have to stand straight even if your legs are tired.

[71] A world just like our own, but sausages are illegal. This has led to blackmarket sausages and sausage-specific speak easies.

[72] A world just like our own, but President Nixon was called President Noxin and he got away with it.

[73] A world just like our own, but Godzilla was a normal sized lizard (About 10 cm) and the movie was rubbish.

[74] A world just like our own, but the days of the week aren't named after gods, they're named after units of time. So it goes Weekday, Secondday, Monthday, Minuteday, Hourday, Centuryday, and then Monthday again because they forgot they already had one.