Fireboy makes music for soft boys who cry when they nut and shiver until they get cuddled.

They catch feelings quick and will block and unblock you multiple times just to see if you'll notice.

Rema makes music for boys who leave you 30 mins long voice notes when you don't reply within an hour and blow up your phone because you don't give them attention.

Lady Donli makes music for rich early twenties women who like to toast youngins and dash them money to "get something for themselves"

Kizz Daniel makes music for bi boys in the closet, who like to over perform their straightness by exhibiting toxic masculinity in their language and subtle misogyny. They're usually masc so they pass really well.

Burna makes music for men who think they lay good pipe and want to have his aesthetic, so they consume his music hoping to one day have such dripping sex appeal.

Yemi Alade makes music for everyone except Nigerians.

2Baba makes music for boomers who only listen to him because of nostalgia with hope that one day he'll make music like he used to. African Queen comes up and they shake their head in disappointment "he used to make good music"

Adekunle Gold makes music for men who respect women because their favorite person is a woman and start feminist conversations with "I respect women because I have a daughter, sister, wife, mother" and nod with a satisfied smile thinking they said something profound.

Psquare makes music for nobody because they stupidly decided to split.

Reekado Banks makes music for men who like to groom themselves and look nice but aren't taken seriously because women find the attention they put in their appearance to be a sign of homosexuality so they are overly sexual towards women to make up for it.

Zlatan makes music for yahoo boys who reside in Ikotun and say stuff like "hustle oh" in reference to yahoo. Yahoo boys who own iPhone 11 pros but live in a one bedroom apartment with seven other yahoo boys.

Joeboy makes music shy boys who don't have sex with the lights on because they're insecure about their dick sizes. So they never initiate sex but are horny 24/7

Don Jazzy makes music for gay sugar daddies and with heavy igbo accents. They send you 50k for uber and don't call you unless they want to see you. Are straight to the point and always remind you they can have their pick of boys so you should be grateful they choose you.

Asa makes music for soft dommes who like to whip but are really soft, they praise you really well and always send you money when they wear you out too much after a session

Everyone knows who odunsi makes music for.

Flavor makes music for Alpha males who eat their own cum because it keeps the alpha juice in their body.


Idk this was really random and I just wanted to use that line at least once before I die.

Phyno makes music for power bottoms who pass as masc and like to be slapped around and degraded in the bedroom.

But outside the bedroom they're gangsta and will shot you up if you look at them funny.

Davido... Omo idk, he makes music for everyone??? Idk, his music doesn't have a face.

Wizkid makes music for men who always get the short end of the stick with women because of their height and lack of sex appeal.

That's all. He makes music for unattractive men.

Falz makes music for class clowns who never built a personality outside of that.

Simi makes music for forgettable people because look how long it took me to remember that she exists.

Also makes music for lite feminists who don't understand oppression outside of their perspective.

Reminisce makes music for men who give you multiple orgasms, speak Yoruba to you while you nut with tears in your eyes. They'll cuddle you and feed you and take care of you and text you "you'll die tonight" while you're at work leaving you With a puddle of wetness

And then you find out that they're married and are serial murderers because it's not only that dies tonight and una plenty.

Olamide makes music.