[THREAD]

Maidenhead United jukebox playlist

1 song per day until lockdown lifted or, more likely, we run outta ideas.

Imagine you're in the Anchor (2009 vintage). It's a Saturday evening, post-MUFC home game. Landlord Joe has just poured the & Macleod (C) is in position ...

We'll start, as we always did, with the classic 1-2-3 punch: Collins, Wham!, John. (*Not* the Dutch fella who used to play for Fulham.)



We had a life, we had a love
But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it

I don't recall what number Club Tropicana was on the Anchor jukebox; in my defence, I'm pretty certain it was on more than one CD & so there were two ways that you could go. Anyway ...

Let me take you to the place
Where membership's a smiling face

Audible groans that greeted the intro to Phil Collins were one thing, those heard when this song came on were quite another! Crystal clear that only @FreddieJizzard and I liked this one, which only made us more determined to keep putting it on!

Doves & this song in particular. The lyrics resonated; capturing mood @ York Rd during the many long, winless runs under Drax



It's been preying on me and mine
This is a dangerous place man
This is a dangerous place, there's nothing here

Jermaine Hinds, a tall midfielder, was once sent off in successive games; such recklessness reflected by his FM ratings (supplied by me). Still, a cult figure thanks to the popularity of this song.



1 2 3 4 5, you've just met Jermaine Hinds

Kerthney Carty (KC) - top bloke - managed, at different times, our Youth, Reserve & Women's teams; plus the Anguilla NT. In Nov 2009 he chauffeured a minibus, from the Anchor, to Castle Vale vs Cadbury Ath. (5-1). And a chant was born:

KC drove us up

Our 18/19 avg. attendance was a remarkable 1,353. As recently as 13/14 it was just 303. Back then Macleod (C) and I, plus others, would sing:

I think we're at home now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around

(Nb. Tiffany acceptable, Snuff preferable)

Valentine's Day 2004, FAT R5. John Dreyer's Maidenhead won at Chris Wilder's Halifax. Macleod (C) & I, after minibus ride back, went to Smokey's & heard a UK hit single (#4) from Oct 1982:

Oh oh oh oh
Makes me wanna dance
Oh oh oh oh
2-0 to the Mags

Who's the Marlow in the black? can be heard when Maidenhead Utd fans believe that the referee has made a poor decision; usually multiple times in most games.

(Nb. 'with the flag' replaces 'in the black' when an Assistant is deemed to have blundered.)

We've spent one season, since 73/74, in same division as Slough: they were relegated in 00/01 after our ILP debut. (Again in 06/07.) Recovered since, but 'staying down' fits as nicely as 'going down' and, bottom line, they've been below us now for >10yrs.

Q:Who put the ball in the Marlow net?

A1: Arthur Non-League
A2: Arthur Maidenhead

Perhaps best encapsulated by Wednesday 30th March 2016: Marlow's 1st team conceded 5 at North Leigh (Attendance: 35), while Maidenhead stuck 9 (NINE) past their U18s.

Since early 90s, when boss of W@nky Wanderers (apt), Martin O'Neill has been taking intermittent potshots at Maidenhead United; perhaps most notably when he rejected Notts Forest. He finally took the Forest job in 2019 ... & was sacked after five months.

Simple but effective chant; came to the fore during our FAC1RP replay @ Aldershot in 2011. Our vocal support was

From ShotsWeb: "Fair play to the 261 Magpies fans ... they did their best to make the atmosphere & did their team proud with their singing"

Saturday 3rd Feb 2001, FAT R4. Maidenhead lost 2-1 @ Blyth Spartans. What came next is the stuff of legend:

We're the famous Maidenhead & we went to Whitley Bay

(Nb. Immediately followed by Oh Logic pulled and Logic, with a Maidenhead scarf)

Basis for a Reece Tison-Lascaris chant; more recently used when opposition player has messed up:

Johnson Hippolyte, he wants you at Staines

(Funnily enough, Drax signed RTL for Staines despite saying "He'll never play for me again" after for us.)

Oh W@nky W@nky
W@nky W@nky W@nky
W@nky Wanderers

B&B aside, we've not faced them in a competitive fixture since FA Cup tie in September 1990. for another, some day. Until then, I s'pose we'll have to make do with the annual pre-season fisticuffs

Celebrating, IMO, the greatest terrace in world football:

You are my Bell End, my only Bell End
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my Bell End away

You'll likely hear Soggy Sombrero at least once during Maidenhead games. Chants of "the Thistle" at the end clue that it was brought to York Rd by exiled Partick fans. Like this UK single from 1957, it's based on Cielito Lindo; a traditional folk song

05/98
2-1 vs Reading at W@nky
1st B&Bfor 28yrs
"Royals rocked by Connor strike"

We're on the march with Alan's Army
We're all going to Adams Park
We'll really shake them up
When we win the Berks &Bucks
If the last bit doesn't rhyme, who gives a ...