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Women can be killed for:
Having too much sex
Too little sex
Being too pretty
Rejecting the wrong man
Accepting the wrong man
Having too much sex
Too little sex
Being too pretty
Rejecting the wrong man
Accepting the wrong man
These are things that happen regularly. Because boys are taught that access to women's bodies is a God-given right https://www.rawstory.com/2015/10/idaho-teen-threatened-to-kill-all-the-girls-because-cheerleaders-wouldnt-send-him-any-freaking-nudes/
From their very first fairy tale through a lifetime of entertainment media, boys are taught that women are wages earned for work done.
We are taught that there IS a woman for us and that human history dictates that.
So the question isn't IF you will get a woman of your very own, but WHEN.
Having sex with a woman is a rite of passage to becoming a "real man." Without having sex, a boy is denied his birthright -- his manhood.
Sexual rejection is existential rejection.
Women hold the keys to our masculinity.
Hence the fear and resentment.
Women hold the keys to our masculinity.
Hence the fear and resentment.
Toxic masculinity teaches that men cannot assert their manhood absent sex with a women that they alone possess.
Toxic masculinity robs boys and men by pinning self-worth, identity, status, respect and success on the acquisition of women
So our relationship with women is set from the start as a paradoxical tug of war.
We need them to be ourselves.
We need them to be ourselves.
This is why there's such a fear of female autonomy and self-esteem.
Female autonomy frustrates our attempts to define ourselves by our ownership of women.
Female autonomy frustrates our attempts to define ourselves by our ownership of women.
If we need something to exist, we must be able to control that thing.
How can one rationally not seek to secure access to a vital resource?
How can one rationally not seek to secure access to a vital resource?
The reflexive tendency to think in terms of hos and thots and bitches is necessary self-delusion.
Otherwise we begin to question our need for control.
Otherwise we begin to question our need for control.
We do not naturally show callous disregard for others.
We do not naturally oppress our fellow humans.
We need an excuse.
We do not naturally oppress our fellow humans.
We need an excuse.
In order to ease our consciences, we must convince ourselves that those we wish to subjugate NEED to be subjugated for their own good
In this way, we can assure ourselves that what is obviously a selfish, unethical desire is actually a benevolent deed.
Women need a good man to...
Women can't think logically, so...
Women don't get their bodies...
Women have to be led to sex...
Women don't know what they want...
Women can't think logically, so...
Women don't get their bodies...
Women have to be led to sex...
Women don't know what they want...
This is not about the deficiencies of women.
It is about the insecurities of men.
At least we admitted that when "negging" became a thing.
It is about the insecurities of men.
At least we admitted that when "negging" became a thing.
With negging, we spoke aloud the hushed secret...
That women's confidence is a barrier to sexuality that must be overcome.
To level things.
That women's confidence is a barrier to sexuality that must be overcome.
To level things.
We cannot manage to see female confidence most importantly as a benefit to the women or even secondarily as a point of attraction.
Instead we must defeat it
Instead we must defeat it
Toxic masculinity sets up a sex economy with sex-starved men as consumers on the demand side, telling women what they must do and be in order to satisfy that demand.
This would be an absurd arrangement, this choosy beggarhood, except that the war on female confidence has been waged for eons.
It would make so much more sense to recognize that sexuality is something sought in equal measure by all genders across a gradient.
But no. We set up a false and binary conflict.
Women don't want sex
Men need sex
Go.
Women don't want sex
Men need sex
Go.
We HAVE to do this under the regime of toxic masculinity.
No other paradigms are accepted or allowed.
No other paradigms are accepted or allowed.
A rejection of toxic masculinity allows for a self-guided development of self-worth.
Rejecting this system means that a boy's identity doesn't have to be a zero sum game.
Rejecting this system means that a boy's identity doesn't have to be a zero sum game.
A rejection of toxic masculinity allows for an infinite number of ways to be male.
Many different paths to manhood, born of various values.
Many different paths to manhood, born of various values.
As long as we cling to a narrow view of masculinity and continue to define it with regard to sexual conquest, we will perpetuate tragedy.
What is terrifying about misogynistic violence is not how irrational it is, but how incredibly rational it is under faulty premises.
Stop teaching our boys that they deserve girls.
Start teaching boys how to build strong interpersonal relationships with everyone.
Quit asking if men and women can be friends because it's a ridiculous question.
Teach boys to treat people as people first.
Teach boys to treat people as people first.
Teach boys that there are many different things to value in friendships with girls aside from attraction and dating.
Teach boys that it's ok to be attracted to girls that aren't attracted to them and that it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong.
Teach boys that the measure of a girl's friendship isn't whether or not she wants to kiss him, but how much they trust and care for each other.
Teach boys that it is never ok to express affection for a girl by being mean to them.
Teach girls not to accept abuse as kindness.
Teach girls not to accept abuse as kindness.
Boys are socialized that aside from family, human touch is either for violent contract or sexual contact.
Those are the two options.
Those are the two options.
This is an abusive thing to do to a young boy.
Human touch is one of the most important things for emotional health.
Human touch is one of the most important things for emotional health.
Despite the importance of human touch, boys are discouraged from non-sexual physical intimacy with others.
And what they do manage to experience is frequently sexualized by adults.
And what they do manage to experience is frequently sexualized by adults.
Discouraging a basic need doesn't eliminate that need.
It just makes a person repress or sublimate that need.
It just makes a person repress or sublimate that need.
People make jokes about the homoeroticism of male sports, but it's largely just about satisfying the need for human contact.
If we want human contact as a male, we have to get it in a non-intimate form from other men or sexually from a woman.
Not much wonder then that sex and sports are pretty much the tag line for masculinity.
Both sex and sports are fundamentally about conquest under toxic masculinity -- it's better to "win" what we could have been given freely
Men tell boys they have to earn and win what should really be a free-flowing commodity of zero-scarcity.
Human touch
Human touch
There IS a war on men.
Problem is, the aggressor is toxic masculinity and the call is coming from inside the fucking house.
Problem is, the aggressor is toxic masculinity and the call is coming from inside the fucking house.
There are so many different ways to be a human.
Pretending that there is some rigid and absolute way to do is tedious and exhausting.
Pretending that there is some rigid and absolute way to do is tedious and exhausting.
How much wisdom have men missed out on because it simply didn't occur to them that a woman had something important to say?
How much time wasted not indulging in human contact and intimacy, instead hiding from the things that make us healthy and whole?
How cruel and perverse to teach young boys that hugs and warmth and comfort are not for them.
That theirs is a life of emotional solitude...
...until they get their own woman.
That theirs is a life of emotional solitude...
...until they get their own woman.
We make gender and sexuality such rigid qualifiers that touch itself cannot be experienced without it being a judgment on one or the other.
We are shocked and aghast when boys express themselves with grievous violence but never stop to ask what other choices we supported in them.
We tell them:
Do not cry
Do not hug
Do not show fear
Do not fail
What tools do we leave our boys when we rob them of these basics?
Do not cry
Do not hug
Do not show fear
Do not fail
What tools do we leave our boys when we rob them of these basics?
Boys still hurt
They still crave comfort
They still fear
They still fail
We simply deprive them of healthy ways to do so.
They still crave comfort
They still fear
They still fail
We simply deprive them of healthy ways to do so.
"But women perpetuate these things toooooo!" Cry the Men's Rights Activists"
And they are right.
And it doesn't matter.
We all need to grow up.
Men first.
And they are right.
And it doesn't matter.
We all need to grow up.
Men first.
Because we cannot use the successful indoctrination of an oppressed group as retroactive justification of itself.
What is obvious is that this adversarial approach to gender is ridiculous and needs to stop
The only way it is an insult for a man to be considered feminine is if we have already decided that to be feminine is to be lesser.
But those characteristics we consider feminine:
Empathy
Nurturing
Sociability
Kindness
Sensitivity
These are just desirable traits.
Empathy
Nurturing
Sociability
Kindness
Sensitivity
These are just desirable traits.
If we take the traits that make humans good to each other...
Then feminize them...
Then devalue femininity...
Anyone got the math on this?
Then feminize them...
Then devalue femininity...
Anyone got the math on this?
