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I've received my share of calls from young Muslim couples and know some common themes. If you're being offered any of these, say no and end it.
1) Secret Nikahs: Not only is this against the command of the Prophet (peace be on him), they never work. I've seen horror stories!
1) Secret Nikahs: Not only is this against the command of the Prophet (peace be on him), they never work. I've seen horror stories!
2) Polygamy: In principle I have nothing against it. But our current political and social climate makes it almost impossible to practice it justly. 99% of the time, I wouldn't recommend it. Once again, horror stories!
3) Marrying non-Muslims: Islam allows men to marry Christian and Jewish women. However, I really would advise against this now.
These commands are for when the man is the leader of the house and can ensure that the children will remain Muslim. Do not risk your children's Iman!
These commands are for when the man is the leader of the house and can ensure that the children will remain Muslim. Do not risk your children's Iman!
Additionally, marriage about so much more than love. After being married, I see that it needs many social scaffolding and structure to prosper.
I really see many couples in such marriages ending up resenting their partner.
I would not recommend this 95% of the time!
I really see many couples in such marriages ending up resenting their partner.
I would not recommend this 95% of the time!
4) Delaying the talking process: Let me know if this sounds familiar: "He's perfect. But he isn't ready for marriage yet! 2 years, In Sha Allah!"
Not only is your boyfriend/girlfriend haraam (cause that's what they are), why invest your heart when the person isn't ready?
Not only is your boyfriend/girlfriend haraam (cause that's what they are), why invest your heart when the person isn't ready?
I'm sure they are great. I would recommend ending it. Down the road, if your paths happen to cross when he or she is ready, they can propose to you then.
In the meantime, they don't deserve you. Don't be friends and don't make any promises.
In the meantime, they don't deserve you. Don't be friends and don't make any promises.
This one can be especially hard because many of our youth are truly unable to get married. However, there is barakah in doing things the right way.
Islam wants the person to commit to you with all they have got, before you both invest your hearts into a relationship.
Islam wants the person to commit to you with all they have got, before you both invest your hearts into a relationship.
I do have a few more points in mind, but MT will grill me. So let me just end it here In Sha Allah :)
