So you have a ton of beans. Now what?
I am seeing all sorts of elaborate instructions and they can be fun but here's basically the secret:

SIMMER UNTIL DONE.

Ta-da! You are welcome. 1/9

Soaking cuts cooking time and many believe it helps the texture. So soak, I don't care. I don't bother. Except when I do. I will just point out that it cuts cooking time but cooking is faster than soaking so, whatevs. 2/9

Aromatics are good. Onion, garlic, carrots, celery- whatever you have on hand. If they are finely chopped, they will disappear into the beans. I add some olive oil as well. Sometimes a little manteca. Sometimes a lot of olive oil. You do you! 3/9

Salting earlier avoids having salty broth and bland beans but don't go too crazy as it will get saltier as it cooks and evaporates. A tablespoon per pound sounds right and you may need to add more. A pound is a LOT (I cook 1/2 a pound at a time). 4/9

Bring your beans, aromatics, olive oil, all covered by about 2 inches of water to a rapid full boil. Boil that thang for 15 full minutes. Then lower the heat and gently simmer. I have time on my hands so I like to go low, barely a simmer. 5/9

Keep the lid ajar to control heat and allow some evaporation. Go watch Better Davis in All About Eve. Check the beans after "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night" and again at "Funny business, a woman's career..." 6/9

If something went wrong and the beans are still not done, turn up the heat. Deal with it. Life is unpredictable but you control your destiny. But never cook beans in a hurry. They should be done well before you need them. 7/9

If for some reason you bought crap commodity beans, yes, a ham bone of some kind or chicken stock helps. If you have new crop heirloom beans, like the ones that are all the rage from Rancho Gordo, please make them vegan. At least once. 8/9

There's really not much more to it. And with it, I say, "Slow Curtain. The end." 9/9