This is the remote reading lesson I taught to my kindergartner yesterday. I am a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer, and I could not correctly identify the "main idea" in this passage -- though the instructions assured us it was in there. Can you find it?

As the teacher patiently -- but still, somehow, a little sternly? -- explained to my kid (read "ME"), in a specially made audio recording (!), the main idea of this piece is: "Ocean Animals."

Ocean Animals? Seriously? Wtf?!That's a title, not a topic sentence.
I sat down to write a lengthy rebuttal to Mrs. X, but my wife, unfortunately, would not allow it.

"Hey, remind me: what was the main idea of that seminal work by Faulkner?"

"Oh, silly. Noise and Anger, of course!"

-- Two kids in my son's kindergarten class, just a few years from now.