As a public service, here’s a summary of President Trump’s message to the American people so far:
1) The virus is nothing! You won’t even notice you’re sick. Go to work. Shake a lot of hands.
2) IT’S A FREAKING CHINESE INVASION!
3) A hoax. Fake news & Democrats want to ruin me...

4) I’m so focused on this. I’m super aggressive and a natural born scientist and took all the steps no one thought I should take before I was even president. In sum, Obama—swine flu—total disaster.
5) It will go away in a miracle. It’s more of a February virus. Hates April...

6) You reporters with your questions, always questioning me! I hate you all! You die now!
7) There’s this hair-loss drug I’m super-sure will cure the China virus. Right, doctor?
8) Don’t look at me. The governors are in charge. They should fight each other for the ventilators...

9) IT’S A FREAKING CHINESE INVASION!
10) I really think we should put more of our resources into helping Kim Jong-un & his immediate family.
11) I have a question: Does a ritual sacrifice of reporters appease the virus gods?
12) My plan is for everyone to go back to work—and die.