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Last night, I went to open the snack closet to see that Ant put the sweet potato fry bag in there... supposed to be in the freezer. I laughed for like 2 mins straight
I just asked him how to spell something and he says “your guess is as good as mine. I still spell Michael wrong like is it E A or A E??” Michael is his middle name.
I think this is gonna be a “Funny Things Ant Does During Quarantine” thread btw
I’m listening to No Scrubs on a playlist. Ant walks in and says “I don’t know the words to this song” and walks out.
Bathroom door opens. “BABE! BABE! Did you hear?! Karma’s a bitch! Prince Charles has corona!!” We’ve very pro Diana in this house
On a video call with one of his coworkers speaking about their video call happy hour later “I’m think going to just show face and then French exit and log off.” The confidence he had when he said French exit when he meant Irish exit.
Omg also last night we were watching something, can’t remember what rn, and he sees some guy and goes “he looks like he has a tic tac dick, you know like a micropenis.” I was crying laughing
We went to the store like 2 hours ago and he got one of those mini Jr’s Cheesecakes. He looks at me just now and goes “I ate the cheesecake the second you walked outside to go workout. I heard the door open and ran to the fridge.”
I just asked him if he wanted to watch a Marvel movie today. He stops, stares at me and goes “OMFG?!! I WILL TOTALLY WATCH A MARVEL MOVIE TODAY OMG OK OK WOW YES.” He’s now pacing around the room deciding deciding which we’re gonna watch.
I caught him learning the Toosie Slide this morning... “the real way”
I’ve been watching Mob Wives. He comes in and goes “btw, I don’t think you really care about this show. I just think it makes you feel like you’re home. You heard them say “youse” and you were like ahhhh yes” and then walked out.
He gave me a pair of his Off White socks that he said don’t fit them. I put them on and they’re literally cutting off the circulation in my legs so I was like “how tf did you wear these??” He says “dressing well isn’t easy.”
“Don’t you feel like you don’t wanna move for 3 days after that little stunt we just pulled?” - Ant talking about our 20 minute bike ride
Ant is fighting me that no one will care when Rihanna drops her new album
Still couchless and waiting for our new one so we have so much room in our living room. Ant thinks we should start an “underground fighting ring” and get everyone drunk and fight on the floor ??? Ummm... no?
He saw those Nips caramel candies and was dying laughing for 3 minutes lmaooooo he’s still 12
I asked him if he would still date me if I turned into a worm. He said “wait so we can’t bone anymore?” 
I asked him if he changed his shirt cause I could’ve sworn he had a different one on earlier lmao and he says “I had an accident before. I spilled my hot coffee all over my shirt. No one knew. I was sneaky about it.”
Commercial for a child’s toy that blows up like 90 water balloons at once came on “omg omg omg I need that. I wanna get these so bad. I need it.”
Bought a giant bag of Sour Patch Strawberries before (insanely fire btw) and he says “ok we’ll just have a couple now” and then goes “ok just half the bag now”
I hear him put on the Savage remix in our room. When Beyoncé said “onlyfans” he gasps and goes “oh my gawdddd”
“If we were brutally murdered in this apartment and the cops came in to investigate, they’d be so weirded out by your dog butt coloring book that they wouldn’t even care about the murders.” Ant just randomly just said that to me.
Day 7 of our diet. We walked past a lady and her daughter eating pizza. “It’s crazy how that lady has no idea that I would kill her daughter for one of those slices right now. Wouldn’t even feel bad about it. I’d keep walking to the park with you.”
Just asked me if I had an “elevator speech” ready for if I ever met a favorite celebrity and only had a second to grasp their attention. (I didn’t. He did - Lil Uzi Vert & something about a modified Bugatti)
Ant - “Tonight let’s watch either the Amanda Bynes movie where she meets her royal dad orrrrr.... Princess Diaries 2.”
Me - “both great choices but who tf would would PD2 over the 1st one?”
Ant “I love the second one when she sees her closet”
Me - “both great choices but who tf would would PD2 over the 1st one?”
Ant “I love the second one when she sees her closet”
