As an avid whittler who& #39;s stuck inside with no wood to whittle, I& #39;ve gone and whittled my kitchen table til it was naught but a tiny coyote! If it& #39;s made of wood, I& #39;ll whittle it!

They say when folk first walked the earth, they complained to God that it was too dark at night. So God, being an avid outdoorsman, trekked through the woods until he came upon the whitest birch tree you ever saw. Then he cut down that birch tree and whittled the moon!

That& #39;s a whittler& #39;s tale, and like all whittler& #39;s tales, every word is true!

How& #39;d I get my whittlin& #39; knife, you ask? Why, I whittled it! What& #39;d I whittle it with, you ask? Whittler& #39;s secret!

I can keep going with this bit! Not like I have anything else to do!