Just because it feels familiar and you feel comfortable with it, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for you. Chaos and emotional unavailability can feel familiar. We can feel comfortable in high stress environments when that’s all we know. ‘Comfort’ zones aren’t always healthy.

For some people, stepping out of their comfort zone means stepping into calm. Stepping into peace. Stepping into a stable and loving environment where people are open, affectionate and vulnerable.

The thought of a healthy, happy and peaceful household / romantic relationship / friendship is foreign to some people. They are familiar with feeling on edge. They are familiar with aggression. They are familiar with a lack of trust. So anything outside of that can feel weird.

Some women call men simps when men are genuinely affectionate and kind to them in a healthy way. It’s unfamiliar territory and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Some men feel bored or on edge when women are calm, loving, and trustworthy. They’re used to chaotic rollercoasters.

Some children feel out of place when they’re in healthy homes managed by supportive, patient and loving parents. They feel like they’ll never fit in. Some friends feel suspicious when they’re in happy, meaningful and trusting friendships, as they’re used to things going wrong.

Ask yourself what you’re comfortable with. Ask yourself which behaviours you mock or criticise. Ask yourself where you feel on edge. Ask yourself whether you’ve ever pushed healthy relationships away. Ask yourself whether you gravitate towards toxicity.

You might discover that you’ve grown to feel comfortable in unhealthy environments or relationships.

You might find that you’re so used to ‘less’ that you talk yourself out of attaining and valuing ‘more’.