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listen... the ADA somehow getting stuck in Chuuya's big fancy penthouse during mandatory quarantine
"Man, this place is bigger than our entire dorm. The Port Mafia really pays well, huh?"
"You have an electronic wine cellar?!"
"Why do you need that giant bed? You're so tiny."
"Can we make beef bowls for dinner?"
"This place is still as tacky as the last time I saw it."
"You have an electronic wine cellar?!"
"Why do you need that giant bed? You're so tiny."
"Can we make beef bowls for dinner?"
"This place is still as tacky as the last time I saw it."
Con't:
"Why do you have so many knives?? An entire wall of them... also, can I touch them." This progresses into a drunken knife fight between Chuuya and Yosano in the wee hours of the morning.
"Why does a person who clearly lives alone need two jacuzzis?
"...clearly..."
"Why do you have so many knives?? An entire wall of them... also, can I touch them." This progresses into a drunken knife fight between Chuuya and Yosano in the wee hours of the morning.
"Why does a person who clearly lives alone need two jacuzzis?
"...clearly..."
"What?"
"That was so rude, Kunikida-kuuun."
"Which reminds me!! Why are /you/ in your boxers, traipsing around like this is your second home?"
"Uhhh.... I mean, it is, pretty much. I set the clocks on all the electronics, so it's basically mine."
"SHUT UP, DAZAI."
"That was so rude, Kunikida-kuuun."
"Which reminds me!! Why are /you/ in your boxers, traipsing around like this is your second home?"
"Uhhh.... I mean, it is, pretty much. I set the clocks on all the electronics, so it's basically mine."
"SHUT UP, DAZAI."
"Oh my god, Chibi, you actually have a /room/ for all of your tacky hats?"
Cut to five minutes later, when Kenji walks in, holding a package of raw beef, eyes shining, even as he watches Chuuya throttling Dazai in the middle of the room:
Cut to five minutes later, when Kenji walks in, holding a package of raw beef, eyes shining, even as he watches Chuuya throttling Dazai in the middle of the room:
"Chuuya-san, is this that fancy beef they use in restaurants! I've always wanted to eat some but it's so expensive... we could never afford this in my village."
"It's Wagyu beef..."
"Please can I cook some? I'll make some for everyone!"
*Loud, resigned sigh*
"Alright fine."
"It's Wagyu beef..."
"Please can I cook some? I'll make some for everyone!"
*Loud, resigned sigh*
"Alright fine."
Ranpo pokes out from behind Kenji, looking supremely unimpressed with the splendor of Chuuya's penthouse and high end living.
"Who care about a slab of beef, where's the candy? The sweets? The /snacks/?"
"...do I look like a man who snacks, you weirdo?"
"Who care about a slab of beef, where's the candy? The sweets? The /snacks/?"
"...do I look like a man who snacks, you weirdo?"
"Chibi doesn't need snacks because he is a snack."
Chuuya nods in tacit agreement. "Exactly, thank you Dazai."
Ranpo scoffs. "So the ice cream is hidden in the back of the freezer, then."
Chuuya's eyes go wide for a second, before he remembers who it is he's dealing with."
Chuuya nods in tacit agreement. "Exactly, thank you Dazai."
Ranpo scoffs. "So the ice cream is hidden in the back of the freezer, then."
Chuuya's eyes go wide for a second, before he remembers who it is he's dealing with."
With a derisive noise and an eye roll, he nods. "...yeah, I have a small pint of—"
"—Black Cherry and chocolate chips," Ranpo finishes for him, mouth curling at one end.
"What in the fuckin' hell?!"
"There's no way a man who owns this many hats and fashion accessories likes
"—Black Cherry and chocolate chips," Ranpo finishes for him, mouth curling at one end.
"What in the fuckin' hell?!"
"There's no way a man who owns this many hats and fashion accessories likes
plain old vanilla or chocolate. And judging by the overwhelming amount of deep reds and purples in your decorum choices and your pajamas... black cherry."
"I— ugh, okay fine. You can have a little bit."
"As a treat," Dazai says with a joking smile.
"I— ugh, okay fine. You can have a little bit."
"As a treat," Dazai says with a joking smile.
When Ranpo retreats, a little more pep in his step at uncovering the location of Chuuya's secret stash, Dazai sidles up to him and throws his arms around Chuuya's slender shoulders.
"Speaking of treats," He murmurs into Chuuya's hair, only to be elbowed roughly in the ribs.
"Speaking of treats," He murmurs into Chuuya's hair, only to be elbowed roughly in the ribs.
Chuuya turns to look back at him, cheeks puffed adorably.
"Not here, you jackass!" He whispers heatedly. "Not with all your ADA losers around."
"Aww, has my little love still not perfected the silent orgasm yet?"
Chuuya's expression shifts.
"Not here, you jackass!" He whispers heatedly. "Not with all your ADA losers around."
"Aww, has my little love still not perfected the silent orgasm yet?"
Chuuya's expression shifts.
"Oh, Dazai," He says with a low chuckle, lips bowing into a seductive smile, "I could ask you the same question, babe."
Eyes flash. "And I /know/ the answer is 'no'."
Dazai cracks a wide grin. "True. So then, I guess I'll meet you at 4 a.m. at the Mercedes."
"Mmhmm, deal."
Eyes flash. "And I /know/ the answer is 'no'."
Dazai cracks a wide grin. "True. So then, I guess I'll meet you at 4 a.m. at the Mercedes."
"Mmhmm, deal."
Some bonus Chuuaki:
Yosano walks around the room, tapping a finger on her lips thoughtfully as she studies Chuuya's extensive and impressive collection of knives and swords.
"You know how to use all these?" She asks as she strokes along the blade of a broad sword.
"Yeah."
Yosano walks around the room, tapping a finger on her lips thoughtfully as she studies Chuuya's extensive and impressive collection of knives and swords.
"You know how to use all these?" She asks as she strokes along the blade of a broad sword.
"Yeah."
She pulls back her finger, letting out a little 'hmph,' at the slit in her glove.
"You keep them sharpened?"
"Of course. What use do I have for a blunt sword?"
"Thought they were just for show."
Chuuya shrugs. "Mostly."
"You keep them sharpened?"
"Of course. What use do I have for a blunt sword?"
"Thought they were just for show."
Chuuya shrugs. "Mostly."
"Mostly," Yosano repeats, amused. "And judging by how crowded this one is, I'm assuming you have more walls of toys like these somewhere in this place?"
She turns to face Chuuya, who is leaning against a table with his arms folded over his chest, watching her idly.
She turns to face Chuuya, who is leaning against a table with his arms folded over his chest, watching her idly.
At her question, the corner of his mouth his twitches.
"...yeah, there's another one," He says, voice low as he pushes himself off the table.
"That one... it requires a slightly /different/ skill set, though."
His expression grows wolfish.
"...yeah, there's another one," He says, voice low as he pushes himself off the table.
"That one... it requires a slightly /different/ skill set, though."
His expression grows wolfish.
"I'd be happy to show it to you, if you really wanna see it," He says as he carefully plucks the dagger Yosano is holding out of her hand and sets it back in its proper place on the wall.
"Although..."A sharp canine flashes a from the corner of his mouth when his smirk grows.
"Although..."A sharp canine flashes a from the corner of his mouth when his smirk grows.
"... we might have to wait 'til the kiddies are asleep to see that one."
Chuuya gives her a quick wink before moving towards the the room door, leaving the good doctor to mull that over in her head.
Chuuya gives her a quick wink before moving towards the the room door, leaving the good doctor to mull that over in her head.
And just as well, because when Yosano catches on to his meaning, a split second later, she instinctively reaches for the sharpest blade on the display and throws it at his retreating form. But he's already out of the room, rounding the corner.
The dagger catches the end of his coat, splitting the dark fabric clean through before embedding itself in the wall behind him.
Chuuya's low, heady chuckle echoes down the hall.
Chuuya's low, heady chuckle echoes down the hall.
I had to come back to this thread!!!
Because being in quarantine, in Chuuya's place...
It's only a matter of time before the ADA meet...
...
Because being in quarantine, in Chuuya's place...
It's only a matter of time before the ADA meet...
...
One Drink Chuuya: GOSSIP
Chuuya, slurring: S'LEMME TELL U THIS SHITTH BOSS SAID THE OTHER DAY
Kunikida: why are you yelling
Chuuya, slurring: S'LEMME TELL U THIS SHITTH BOSS SAID THE OTHER DAY
Kunikida: why are you yelling
Two Drink Chuuya: drunk dials Dazai to curse him out
Chuuya, red in the face, angrily dialing Dazai's number for the 10th time in a row: WHY ISNT THAT DICKHEAD ANSWERING HIS PHONE
Dazai: Chuuya im standing right next to you
Chuuya: I FUCKING HEAR IT RINGING
Dazai: IM STANDIN-
Chuuya, red in the face, angrily dialing Dazai's number for the 10th time in a row: WHY ISNT THAT DICKHEAD ANSWERING HIS PHONE
Dazai: Chuuya im standing right next to you
Chuuya: I FUCKING HEAR IT RINGING
Dazai: IM STANDIN-
Three Drink Chuuya: aggressively gets naked
Chuuya, literally tearing his shirt open: are you guys hot???? it's really hot in here, holy shit is my A/C broken????
Yosano: you're drunk
Chuuya, now in nothing but his boxers and hat: WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY FCUIKN CLOTHES ON
Chuuya, literally tearing his shirt open: are you guys hot???? it's really hot in here, holy shit is my A/C broken????
Yosano: you're drunk
Chuuya, now in nothing but his boxers and hat: WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY FCUIKN CLOTHES ON
Four Drink Chuuya: Wants to tell you his life story
Chuuya, crying into his Really Expensive Sheets (but no one wants to bring it up): and I just?? It was so fucked up you know???They were like my first real family
The ADA: *All glaring intently at Dazai*
Dazai: WA IT NO
Chuuya, crying into his Really Expensive Sheets (but no one wants to bring it up): and I just?? It was so fucked up you know???They were like my first real family
The ADA: *All glaring intently at Dazai*
Dazai: WA IT NO
Five Drink Chuuya: Thot
Chuuya, drunkenly leaning against his bedroom door: Come onnnn Dazai, Daddy needsh some good f****** c*** in my nice l**** and str****** up a***hole
Dazai: good god
Kunikida: *covering Kyouka and Kenji's ears* WHY IS HE ASKING FOR /YOU/???
Dazai: uhh
Chuuya, drunkenly leaning against his bedroom door: Come onnnn Dazai, Daddy needsh some good f****** c*** in my nice l**** and str****** up a***hole
Dazai: good god
Kunikida: *covering Kyouka and Kenji's ears* WHY IS HE ASKING FOR /YOU/???
Dazai: uhh
Six Drink Chuuya:
Passed out in the middle of the room while everyone stares down at his lifeless, scantily clad body, shaking their heads.
Passed out in the middle of the room while everyone stares down at his lifeless, scantily clad body, shaking their heads.
The next morning:
"So I guess I had a little too much to drink last night again, huh?"
The ADA, all giving him identical blank stares:
"So I guess I had a little too much to drink last night again, huh?"
The ADA, all giving him identical blank stares:
Bonus! Drunk Chuuya:
Chuuya, leaning 'Seductively' against his kitchen counter, now wearing that *tiny red thing* that Dazai got him for Christmas: Are you looking at my ass?
Kunikida, pointedly staring away, face redder than Chuuya's g-string: N O
Chuuya:
Chuuya: why not
Chuuya, leaning 'Seductively' against his kitchen counter, now wearing that *tiny red thing* that Dazai got him for Christmas: Are you looking at my ass?
Kunikida, pointedly staring away, face redder than Chuuya's g-string: N O
Chuuya:
Chuuya: why not
Yosano, from the opposite end of the kitchen table, taking photos for blackmail purposes: well if it's any consolation, Red, Dazai's eyes have been /glued/ to your ass the entire time
Dazai: yeah
Chuuya, scoffing: bahh been there, done that, old news
Dazai: W H A T
Dazai: yeah
Chuuya, scoffing: bahh been there, done that, old news
Dazai: W H A T
Chuuya, stretching his drunken self across the table, right in front of kunikida: hey baby, im really digging your ponytail
Dazai: oh no
Chuuya: it's like one long sex handle... you like getting your hair pulled, huh? kinky
Kunikida:
Yosano, still filming: this is amazing
Dazai: oh no
Chuuya: it's like one long sex handle... you like getting your hair pulled, huh? kinky
Kunikida:
Yosano, still filming: this is amazing
Chuuya, laughing lecherously: say, can you draw up a nice whip in your little harry potter book? Or maybe some handcuffs
Kunikida:
Chuuya, leaning in reeeeeeally close to whisper, licking his lips (drunkenly): MY BED IS REALLY GOOD FOR BONDAGE YA KNOW
Kunikida: I-IM LEAVING GO
Kunikida:
Chuuya, leaning in reeeeeeally close to whisper, licking his lips (drunkenly): MY BED IS REALLY GOOD FOR BONDAGE YA KNOW
Kunikida: I-IM LEAVING GO
