So my mom died three years ago today. With that anniversary coming as the world seems to be crashing down around us, I want to do a personal thread.

This will be a little churchy — I hope my journalism/policy followers will forgive that.

One of the hardest things I've ever done — maybe the hardest thing — has been wheeling my grandmother into mom's ICU room so she could say goodbye before we took mom off life support.

Mawmaw has dementia, so she didn't even know mom was sick. An hour later, she'd forgotten.

It was just never something I thought I would have to do, and I could barely hold it together. I needed something. What came to me was the Paschal Hymn:

"Come take light from the Light / That is never overtaken by night. / Come glorify Christ risen from the dead."

The Paschal Hymn is sung at the start of the Easter Vigil, when a new light is kindled in the pitch-black church after 40 days of fasting and three days of darkness. It marks the pascha, the "passing over," from darkness to light.

For me, that ICU room was as dark as it gets. I still can't stand the site of a ventilator on TV. (Yes, the last week has been very fun.) And there was no happy ending. My mom died. Three years later, my grandmother is still dying.

Still, even there, I had that hymn.

Listen, I don't know what's going to happen in the next few months. It doesn't look great! And I am as terrified as anyone else. Really the only thing that gives me much comfort is knowing that I could sing that hymn even in that room.

One last thing: I'm not trying to come across as Super Spiritual, here. I'm not. I sleep through church more than I go, and I'm more likely end the day with an episode of Frasier than with prayer. I'm just feeling wistful.

The most embarrassing thing about this thread is the admission that I watch Frasier.