ok hi heres my tma catch-up thread so you can all laugh at me make a fool out of myself live

im still on season one if ur curious (but i know of some major things)

ok.... gertrude sexy....

i know ive heard elias's voice before but ive never HEARD it before...... hello sir

GERARD....

JON IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE AKFKSKNFKSNFNSBG

when jon stopped speaking the statement and the door opened i literally almost JUMPED LMAO

ok were back at it again boys

MEAT????????

the statement: i had to witness the most vile acts of human contamination possible, and live with the knowledge it was all happening where i couldve stopped it
jon, after ending the statment: gross! anyways,

"my belief in my l MY LO im sorry it wont let me say it"

me trying to connect the dots with like 1/24th of the puzzle

ayyy love me some intertextuality

I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITTEN ABOUT SIMON HELLO?? HELLOOOOOO???

mahtin........ LMAO

HES LITERALLY SO FUNNY AKFJSNFKANG WAIT I LOVE HIM

ah finally heres some of jonahs fuckboys

i ALSO thought it was cah-lie-op-ee sasha!!

MICH A EL........ i knew u were cool but

melanie!!!

i really like how this statement is "supernatural entity: A M E R I C A N S"

:D oh my friend loves this statement im excited

jane kinda sexy tho.......

WAIT SHES A FUCKING TUMBLR WITCH AKRJSKTNSKFNKAJFJSNG

TIM!!!!! :DD i love u!!!!

WAIT THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE "did you...... d..... did you eat i""NO I DIDNT EAT IT"

me, after looking up case files because he doesnt mentions the NAME: wow i am ENLIGHTENED now

jon, speaking imcredibly soft: i am. very tired.
me: :(((((((((( :"((((((

whenever i hear "my husband" or "my wife" in a statement i always check if its gay LMAO

HELLO???? JON?????

TIM??? JOE SPOOKY??????

GET his ass martin HELL yes

oh WATCHED huh? hehehehehehehe

OK TIM KING SHIT!!

SASHA????????? MARTIN??

oh thats where the holes come from!

sashas intonation sounding weird.... Ok I Get You..........

"im sorry i left you" ah i can feel myself becoming Whipped for him

the first episode of season two and jons like "hm. martin seems to be caring about my wellbeing, considering we all went through a traumatic event. i now believe he is the murderer,

basiras.... a c*p? no...........

DAISY TOO? BRO....

keep forgetting canadian towns are named after british towns and had whiplash when i hear towns i recognized LMAO

oh hi gertrude..... (is lesbian)

jon: reason 120 why i dont trust tim-
martin, holding tea: oh.
jon:
martin:
jon:
martin: why do you have a bulletin board with pictures of tim connected by string on it
jon: NOREASON

MICH A E L :).

oh helen i know u!!

MICHAEL?

BRO AKFKANFNMABF I LOVE U!!!!!!!

jon: WHO, OR WHAT, THE HELL ARE YOU??
michael:

jon: oh boo hoo is "michael" mad that i "asked" too many "questions"
elias: no. what? youre being accused of workplace harrassement

ELIAS BEING A POTHEAD LMAOOOOOO

not another jonah fuckboy LMAO

bro i cannot process anything this old person is saying LMAOOO gertrude shut his ass up

wait hes crying now i feel bad LMAO

jon: so this case is a bust :/. oh well. end recording.
jon: supplemental. i have now commited 4 crimes,

HELP AKFJAKBFKANDNTH

STANLEY KUBRICK?????

CAN U STOP YELLING AT MARTIN HES JUST DOING HIS JOB :(

jon: I CANT TRUST YOU MARTIN. YOU KEEP LYING TO ME, WHAT IS THIS NOTE ABOUT?!? EVERYONE HERE HAS SO MANY GODDAMN SECRETS!!! I HATE IT HERE!!!!
tim in the other room trying to pretend he cant hear all this through the wall:

IS IT MICHAEL ITS MICHAEL ISNT IT

imagine recording your coworkers being like "im really concerned for his mental health he seems to be going through a lot of trauma :(" and being like "THIS IS PROOF THEY ARE EVIL"

BRO im on 59 and i love this stataement... probably one of my faves

for real tho im actually a HUGE fan of the fact that jon is driving himself to paranoia voluntarily thats a super cool aspect

NOT AN INTERVENTION AJDJDNFNSBFNSBG

Daisy.........

wait everyone thought jon did it but none of his coworkers turned in his erratic behaviour to the police....... because they c..... oh

i love this bitch wtf!!!! daisy i love u!!!!

"a power like this and she used it to make MONEY" mary i literally have feelings for u

love how a handful of statements in the magnus institute are just "oh. woe is the fate of being british. truly theres no horror greater"

wtf when does elias get evil right now hes just a closeted manager

ok gertrude-jon parallels!

statement giver: (babbling on) im a blogger
jon: when
statement giver: oh i stopped along last year, but
jon: no when did i ask

NOT THIS STATEMENT LITERALLY BEINGN A CREEPYPASTA I READ IN 2013

tim :(

TIM?!?!?!

YES YES YES IVE GOTTEN TO "ok elias i promise i wont go into the tunnels :)" "SUPPLEMENTAL: IM IN THE TUNNELS I WAS EXPLORING AND I GOT LOST"

ok socialist jon!

YAAAA BASIRA SAID FUCK BEING A C*P!!!

so many of these statements are laced with insomnia damn jonny u ok?

i feel so bad bc i know this statement is supposed to be scary and i feel bad but im trying not to laugh at the grafitti that says "sleep is for the weak" being scary

me whenever gertrude reads a statement

oh no this statement hits WAY too close to home KAJFKSNF jon stop talking about my childhood trauma

WAIT THERES TWO DIFFERENT MICHAELS?!

jonny said "yes i will make this as confusing as possible on your little adhd ass brain. fuck you if you zone out during a statement look it up"

melanie :-)

"yes i know what a MEME is" go grandpa go

i was spoiled on this twist because its been like 3yrs lol but its still cool idc idc!!

MICHAEL :D

WAITSHDJABFJSN THIS IS SO GOOD FUCK

i respect ur poetry king

tim: i think were going to die down here
martin: oh, like you were DYING to quit HUH
tim: wh
martin: YOU WERENT EVEN GONNA MISS ME :(

HELLO?!?!? HELLO!!!!!!?

BROOOOOOOO AKDKAKFKANDJANFNAJJDJFNFNAKDKAB WAIT HOLD ON HOLD ON

n!sasha: i bet i could do a better job at being archivist than YOU
me: haha bet
n!sasha: maybe i SHOULD..
me: WAIT

"I WAS ALMOST BEATEN TO DEATH BY AN ANGRY GOTH"

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS!!!!

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO (BRUTAL MURDER)

i wanna be a janitor at this place KANFKSNFNSBF the shit they mustve seen

YES YES admiral :) good boy

god elias is so cocky shut UP i h*te you <3

QUEEEN GET HIS ASS!!

BRO????? E L I A S

friends :)

BRO NIKOLAI AKDJAKFJSNG YES LETS GO RITUALSSS

jude... ok <3

I LOVE THESE EVIL LITTLE BITCHES!!!!! 10 MORE PLEASE JONNY

jon making every bitch gay OKAYYYYY JUDE LESBIAN ICON<3

wtf i love the vast now

DAISY :D

word? ok ty basira LMAO

ohOHOHO is what i think is supposed to happen about to happen im excited this allknowing WHORE<3

the image of elias leaning back in an old armchair adressing the entire cast nonchalantly like "yeah fuck it. i kill. so what?" is SO FUNNY

"thats the police! they wouldnt" oh yeah fancasting martin as white is valid