Today I watered my partner’s plants while he’s at work and I realized I’m actually dating a Plant Gay

Will be asking if they have names when he comes home

Update: not a single plant has a name. I’m shook

The day has come, the plants have been named and will make their ~debuts~ with their new personas

Rhône: a little needy, but likes to be left alone, and studied abroad in France for a semester.

Queen Leaf-Tifa. Everything you want and need for some good springtime shade

Salsa. She’s flamboyant but also a little shy.. until you meet her on the dance floor

Britney Jean

Feisty, sweet, soothing, and southern. Embodiment of when @britneyspears told RadarOnline to kiss her lily white southern Louisiana... you get it..

Droppy.

Kinda just chills and doesn’t gives off any vibes. He’s always here to listen to your conspiracy theories!

Roman Empire

Literally is dead, but the spirit is still alive

Jailhouse Rot.

Some people think he’s dead. Some (Ben) think he’s still alive. Stop the arguing and share a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich

Rooty da Booty

Loves his carbs, can never find properly fitted pots, and always living like it’s Thursday.

Jonah.

Kinda awkward, in the way, but lives in the center of power (the bedroom, duh). [ @VeepHBO]

Xerxes.

Total tyrant, invaded lives in the second floor shower temporarily, and the leaves remind me of old Egyptian fans

Chad.

Asks who you know here but doesn’t really have any close buddies nearby, has a great position without really earning it, has a bougie pot

Sprout.

Literally has NO personal boundaries, man-spreads everywhere, shouts when entering a room so you know he has arrived.

Aang

Literally an air plant, no one knows how this is even a living thing, gets water out of air???, fire nation’s attacks are useless, nicknamed his pot Appa